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My Cousin Is A Moron!!!

This is a convo that I had with my cousin and her being a spoiled brat took everything I said and flipped it. Since I don't personally know you guys can you tell me if I was right in what I said...Or was I wrong? Clearly she needs to grow up and me being a good cousin I was trying to help her crazy butt!!!

CLICK CLOSER April 18 at 2:08pm

Hello,

I'm just going to write this email to you personally. My personal opinion is that you just need to try and move on. The advice I've given you on that post that YOU tagged ME in is sound advice. I'm pretty sure that "douchbag" is living his life not worrying about you. He is prolly living it up while you are still dwelling. Divorce takes time, yes we know this. It takes money, but you have to really sit down and get things in prospective. People get divorced every day. I'm pretty sure the website that I posted you didn't even look at?!?

Yes, It's OK to vent I never said it wasn't, but at the same time you say that you run into stand stills all the time. OK when you go to bars, you spend money. When you hang with your friends, you spend money. You have your mom paying your school loan (which she shouldn't be) I wish I had my mom paying my school loan...because I DON'T HAVE A JOB!!! ROFL LOL You can save that money that you spend at the bar to get a divorce. You can also ask Granny and Grandfather to help in the promise to pay them back...Like I did with the car. But they just ended up giving me their car. See there is NEVER a stand still. It's just what you are willing to do and willing what not to do. And I haven't spoken to granny and grandfather in YEARS!!! And they still helped me out!!! You see my point!?!?!

I'm trying to help you and all your friends are doing is co signing making you think that it is OK to JUST VENT!!! That's like people saying JUST PRAY...you can't just pray, people have to get off thier *** and do something about it.

I'm just trying to show you that everything you post on FB can be used against you. Quick Question...How many people have you thought you trusted and they stabbed you in the back??? People you think you trusted can take ALL this stuff you are writing and posting on FB and give it to him and when you finally go to court you will look dumb because he has all this evidence about you saying stuff about him. You understand where I'm coming from now!?!

He even brought people from the church to talk to you. And you gave an attitude, but you also told them how you felt. Now how do you think that is going to look on you if he decides to bring these people to court. You know!?! You said that the shrink was helping but YOU stopped going. I understand if you can't afford to go, but if you can why did you stop going??? Your friend wants to say that I'm hindering you from your healing process...No one can hinder anyone from what they want to do. It's either you ignore the person and do what you want or you take that persons advice and move forward with it!!!

The same thing happened when I was trying to find T.J.'s father. I went to court and can you believe they actually wanted ME to pay to find that *******. It was up to ME...Not my friends who were co signing telling me that they (the court) should pay to find him not me. I took MY own advice and just let it go because life was better without him in it!!!

Questions...Is he contacting you in anyway? Is he stopping you from finding better friends or boyfriends...or girlfriends??? Is he stopping you from DOING ANYTHING!?!? If not then you need to take things at your own pace when you can do it. You are still YOU. You are still going out and hanging with your friends and doing you. YOU have work and life. Just live it. Save a little here and there. Like I said me and my husband are living off of $800 a month and still manage. So you can to. Unless you are just living outside your means.

You can take this email how you want it. I'm just saying be careful with what you post because technically you are still married and what you do is still going to be used in court. HIS LAWYER COULD BE TELLING HIM TO GET AS MUCH INFO AS YOU CAN AND HE CAN GET YOU IN COURT. He might just be waiting to get enough info on you to slam your ***. You understand!?! But your friends are so busy telling you,"You are so right Cheryl vent away" but what are they actually helping you with??? Will they be the ones helping your pay for this stuff...or telling you to just vent. I'm just saying be careful!!! That's all!

Shante'



COUSIN April 18 at 6:13pm Report


I actually don't spend any money when I go to bars my friends pay for me. I don't spend money when I go to their houses. I don't even go out all the time. He doesn't give a **** about me at all I'm fully aware of that.. yes he's living it up and that's fine. It's not like I want to think about him. His lawyer dropped him for lying. My friends tell me stuff how they see it. And they have talked to and know how I was before... it's better to let things out for me to deal with it. I am living outside my means because of him.. I'm stuck in an apartment I can't afford because of him... instead of saying oh well and letting my credit hit the wall I'm busting my *** to stay above water. If you don't think my mother should be paying for my student loan, then pay it for her... I took out a loan too, and it's her damn fault for not allowing me to have a job and marrying a crack head that spent all my said college money on his stupid habit. Poor mommy so sorry she made the decision to take out a loan. I'm careful, everything is done he already filed the wall I'm running into is having to sit a wait to move forward. No I can't move forward without my saving back, No I can't date anyone because I'm married not even legally separated. Nobody's telling me I'm right to vent, but at the same time no one is telling me to get over it like it's something easy to do. You're saying that I'm not even trying which is just so far from reality. You think I haven't tried what you said??? If you want to talk about it sometime we can talk but don't assume you know when you haven't asked.



Clickcloser April 18 at 7:53pm


well so sorry for you for making your own decisions... she didn't tell you to marry him just like she didn't tell shawn to marry his wife. You make you own decisions...You can't blame anyone but yourself. NOOOOO I NEVER said that you weren't trying...NEVER DID I SAY THAT!!!! I know it's not easy. **** I'm still getting over the fact that I got screwed over from my childs father. He used me and my mom but I'm not blaming my mom for that...I have only myself to blame. And I never assumed anything. This is why I ASKED QUESTIONS IN THIS PAST EMAIL. It's no wonder no one from the family talks to you because you are just impossible to talk to. So for this I'm just not even going to try because instead of agreeing with you I'm trying to give you different ways around it but you being a smart *** you have the answer for everything so. You deal with things on your own...Deuces!!!!!


Hope things work out for you in the end!!!
ClickCloser ClickCloser 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 20, 2011

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I think when you started the first message to your cousin your heart was in the right place, but then you added a lot of negative comments that were unnecessary. For example, if you had only mentioned that you cared about her and you were concerned with her posts on facebook that would have been enough. It seems that that was the main point of what you had to say, but then, you added the statements about her mother paying her student loans, the money that she could spend instead of spending it at the bar, and a few other statements- those statements made it sound like you were taking this moment (when she was already possibly depressed, angry, and hurt) and trying to make her feel worse. As her cousin and definitely at this moment in her life, she does not need for you or anyone else to judge her. The last comment you posted was entirely wrong. Your first comment succeeded in nothing, but making her feel that she had to defend herself... because you said a lot of judgemental and rude comments that tremendously overshadowed whatever was loving... and then, the second comment (your response to hers) you mentioned that the family does not communicate with her and that she is on her own. She is already attempting to deal with her emotional well-being already (as many people do during divorces) and that is possibly why she is using fb; in order to have support. She mentioned that she is suffering financially as well, and the last thing you want to do is push someone to having a mental breakdown or committing suicide. Another thing I noticed is that, besides her problems, you mention a lot of yours. You used a lot of your experiences and compared them to hers, but she is not you... and you should not do that. It seems like you used her situation to vent about her problems as well as yours, when all you wanted to tell her was to not use fb as a venting tool because her husband can use it against her in the divorce. The only reason why I'm commenting is because you asked for opinions and I think it is all about perception. Instead of reacting to my post in a negative way I hope that as an adult you can look at this situation from a different perspective (maybe your cousin's).

Thanks for your words... Usually I don't care what people say but you are entitled to your own opinion. Keep up the good work in stating the obvious. This is why I sent her the last email telling her good luck with her life. Trust me my life is good this is why I'm not stuck on the computer on this website like most people.

your cousin isn't in the wrong. you are. you need to learn to mind your own business. dishing out advice that no-one asked you to give. spend your time sorting out your own life, because it seems that no matter what your cousin is going through right now, she's doing it in style, and she'll be back on form soon...where are you going to be? oh yeah thats right. you'll be sending her another email, with your advice!