I never wanted to do this. I never wanted to be part of the statistic that says kids are affected by divorce. When my dad left, without any warning, I was tough. I kept my thoughts to myself. I only cried when I absolutely had to. In the beginning, my dad was my best friend. We played football, went rollerblading, etc. Towards the end, while my parents faught, I could see the anger in his eyes whenever he was disappointed with me. He began to yell in my face like a drill sargeant or I even remember one instance when he smacked me in the mouth (being a cop, I didn't believe he could do that).

Anyway, he left. I tried to be tough. Here I am now, 11 years later and I am just a ball of tears. I recently found his FaceBook account and that was my downfall. It showed pictures of him and his new daughter, hugging. I broke down. I cried, hysterically. I was replaced. Pictures of my childhood flooded my head when he used to hold ME like that. When I was the one taking fun pictures with him. I'm sure that snotty little brat doesn't even know about me. I feel like someone stole something from me. Like this stupid little teenager ripped out my heart and is showing it off to her friends. For some reason I hate this girl more than I hate my dad.

So, that's my story. I held it together for 11 years and I just can't do it anymore. The reprecussions of divorce have finally taken hold. And I hate it.

Nicole Martzall Hutchison - FaceBook

nillwikki nillwikki
3 Responses Jun 27, 2009

i found my dad on facebook also and it was so hard to look at it.

I understand how you feel as I was in a similar situation. My dad left when I was 5 years old; I didn't see him again until I was 12, only to find out that he just had a newborn son with his second wife. All I could think of was why he 'chose' his new family over me. What did I do wrong? Was I to blame? I took it personally for many years and still do. <br />
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We only saw each other once every 1 or 2 years and only for a few days at a time. I tried telling my dad how I felt but I don't think he appreciated how painful it was to see him with his new family. They looked so happy whereas my own childhood was hard; my half siblings had no idea how it felt to be in my situation. <br />
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You could try talking to your dad but be warned; it may change absolutely nothing. The only change can come from you. If it feels like your relationship with your dad is irreconcilable, then make your own family - that may mean having your own support network based on close friends, other relatives, pets even. Do whatever it takes to make you happy. Your dad made his choice for better or for worse. Now you need to make yours. <br />
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As for me, after our relationship became too toxic and too hurtful I decided to cut off contact with my father. I can't say that didn't hurt either; we all want the Hollywood ending don't we? I do know I've been happier ever since though. Life really is too short to spend being angry all the time. I wish you the best of luck.

well i can't really understand what it feels like but i think you should talk to him you know. try telling him how you feel..i mean he is your dad and maybe you could tell him about the memories you loved the most maybe he'll act more mature and talk to you and what if he still loves you? you won't know till you try..