I Honestly Hate My


I'm sixteen and I honestly hate my dad. 

My parents have been divorced since I was five.  But while they were married my dad was EXTREMELY controlling and abusive to my mom.  When they went to court, about eleven years ago, the judge said that I have to go to my dad's house every Wednesday & every other weekend.  I have been for all of these years..and it's been Hell.  I was very young when my dad lived at home, but I remember how much he controlled my mom (she is one of the sweetest people in the world).  My dad has this whole time been verbally abusive and controlling to my sister, brother, and I.  But I'm the only one now who is still under eighteen, so I still have to go even though I don't want to.  My dad has alienated most of his family & friends..including my sister.  I just thank God that I'm NOT like him.  I'm a nice, friendly, compassionate person like my mom.  My dad is none of those things.  He's controlling, manipulative, and verbally abusive.  He always puts me down, he's never once in sixteen years told me "good job" or anything like that.  It's always "why did you do that?!", "what's wrong with you?!", "what are you, stupid?!", or "do you want to be fatter than you already are?!".  I'm not legally an adult yet, but I'm not a child anymore either.  So, shouldn't I have a CHOICE??  I don't even have my own room at his house..I've slept on the floor or the couch for eleven years when I sleep over.  I just wish that there was a way out of it.  I've had to endure his verbal & emotional abuse, and his controlling ways my whole life so far..that's way more than enough.  This may sound horrible, but I really hate him.  He's a horrible "dad"..heck, he's a horrible person.  I just hold out hope that maybe, some how, I can cut off all ties with him soon, way before I'm eighteen..even though I don't know how to make that happen.  I'm terrified to find out what he'd do if he found out I was trying to get out of seeing him ever again..

Thanks for reading.   :-)

dalejrfan123 dalejrfan123
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 8, 2007

Well i know this may sound arrogant but have you tried to contact a lawyer or family court person through your mom? Mabey if you explain how he treats you, you could finally get the right to stop visiting because do you think the judge who ruled that you had to have visitation with your Dad would have wanted you to go through this? I hope not!

Verbally abusive, controlling, manipulative.... you have just summed up my dad too. It's wonderful that you haven't turned out like him. It sounds like there isn't much you can do about getting out of seeing him. You may need to abide by the rules until you're 18, as hard as that is. But once you're 18 - you're free! Unfortunately my parents are still married so I have had to deal with my dad on a regular basis for over 30 years. If I could cut him out of my life I would have done so years ago. Hang in there - 2 more years and it will be over.

WOW - he does sound really controlling. Maybe it would be for the best to just carry on for a while or perhaps speak with your dad and ask him if you could make it every other weekend or something. If you told him you have a lot of school work right now or sonething he may let you off. Hope you find a way out, but I think your so stong to not have had his personality rub off on you.