Enough

I've always been disconnected with my dad as long as i can remember.
I've been terrified of him all my life. I respected him out of fear not love.
I think the first time I noticed that the relationship was bad with my dad was when i was 6.
I remember it was raining that evening when my uncle visited us (it was a surprise), and he got me a kitchen set for my dolls.
My dad threw it away immediately, cos i was'nt good enough for the toys. He sent me out that night.
he kicked me out when i was 6. it was hours until my cousin found me crying in the rain.
I shall never forget that night, for as long as I live. I never saw him at my birthdays. On my 9th birthday I remember hiding under the table, crying, some one asked me if i had a dad. He never came.
When I was 12, he came home and he ran into me while i was carrying a glass of water, i spilt it as a result. And for hours, he yelled he hated me he repeated it over and over again, while i was crying in the bathroom. It haunts me.
I've never been free from his oppression.
I plan to escape when i go to a university abroad. I'm hoping the distance will ease the emotional and verbal abuse.
Even as I write this, Im being told ill never amount to anything.
All i have to do is hang on.
And its getting harder.
gregorsamsa89 gregorsamsa89
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 16, 2010

You have a survivor spirit and a plan - you'll do fine once you fly the nest.