Deep Hatred For My Dad

Oh where to begin, the story of my life and the deep hatred i've developed for my dad.

Back then when I was younger, the family was doing alright. Although my parents had their occassional arguments, they both had a steady job and it was a typical family environment for me. About 2-3 years ago, my dad's mother died and it was a heartbreak for us all but we managed to keep it together and move on with our lives.

At the time my dad had been working as a cook at a returant for a couple years but two years ago the place shut down and he was left unemployed. He was unemployed for half a year, relying on the governemnt to send him unemployment compensation. I've asked him during that period what he was doing with his life and he simply told me he was taking a break. The economy was at a very rough state at the time, so I understood it wasnt the easiest thing finding a new job. After a while he was finally in the mindset of looking for a new job and eventually landed one. He worked there for a while but that resturant soon showed many problems. They would delay paychecks, promising to pay the following week but would break those promises and it caused a lot of stress to my dad. All the frustration soon reached home.

My dad had always been the type that starts arguments with the family and get easily frustrated but he had taken that to a whole new level compared to his past self. I kid you not, every single day he would come home from work and start a fight with my mother. For a while I understood his stress from work because I would overhear his conversations on the phone with his manager about his paychecks. I never let it bother me too much, as parents are bound to have their arguments.

After a while their arguements soon got out of control to the point where it was killing me, listening to them fight everyday. Anything my mother said could set this ticking timebomb off. It seemed like my dad was finding anything he could use to start a fight and put my mother down. From the simpliest things of buying the wrong groceries, cooking wrong, coming home late (because of work), the list goes on. It became more clear that my dad was using my mother as his punching bag to release his built up stress. It went from arguing over work related issues to simplying hurting my mother. Things like telling her shes stupid, how she isn't a good wife, how she can't do anything right, the list goes on.

My mother is probably the nicest person ive ever met in my life. She is nothing but kind and caring. She may not be the smartest person because she didn't go far with her education but she tries her best to support the family. Shes been working steadily for all I rememeber. Shes the type that puts my brother and I way before herself. So clearly I love my mother a lot and I could no longer stand how my dad treated her. Shes trying her best but he expects more. He treats her as if were still living in the times where women had no rights

One night while they were arguing I intervened and told him to calm down and stop yelling at my mother . He wouldnt listen, so I told him to shut up from upstairs. He suddenly stomped his way to my room and his rage turned on me. He tried to beat and fight me but I wasn't a kid anymore. I took him as a joke but never faught back, knowing it would lead to more deeper problems. I let him do his thing and watched as he "tried" to physically harm me but was unsuccessful. He even tried to throw a chair at me but I simply put on a smile and showed him that I thought he was a joke. After he gave up, he ran back stomping downstairs and my mother came up to my room and told me I shouldnt be so hard on my father and I should of stayed out of their argument. Thats how my mother always is, she takes my dads crap but always end up standing up for him. She would get too hurt or angry sometimes but most of the times she stand up for that monster.

Since then i've given my dad the silent treatment and its been almost half a year since I spoke to him. I know that speaking to him will only make me more angry at him. I have nothing to talk about with him anymore and we've drifted far apart from each other. He still starts fights with my mother but I don't intervene anymore because I know i'll only fuel the monsters rage and that rage will only end up on my mother's end.

After a while the restuant he was working at went bankrupt and closed down, leaving many issues like unpaid workers. I'm not certain whether my dad was fully compensated or not but the real issue at hand was he was once again left unemployed. So currently he has no job and I still havent spoke a word to him since that dreadful day.

I've started to hate my dad with a passion. He continues to put my mother down, treating her like trash. At least he has some morals and doesn't lay a hand on her, or else i'd explode and go nuts on him but it still angers me how he treats her. He spends his money on cigarettes and alcohol most of the time, never on the family.

The thing that angered me the most was that I actaully thought he was being an ******* due to work stress. Hes not working now but hes even more of an *******. Yeah, sure it could be the stress from looking for a new job but I know him well and after all these years I can clearly say that he is person that needs anger management and some lessons on how to treat people (hes very profaine, even to people outside the family).

Simply put, I hate my father for how he treats the family, the scars hes left on my life and his awful personality.
Sorry for my super long rant, and if you guys read the whole thing, thanks for venturing into the story of my life and my hate for my dad
AndrewH AndrewH
18-21, M
Jul 30, 2010