I Hate Him So Much..but Cant Let Him Go

I hate what I have become: useless, emotionless, friendless *****. Sitting in office all day long thinking about crap. I hate my dad. He had been mentally abusive, short tempered to me ,my mom and my bros. Been beating up my mom for years in front of our eyes. I was put in a hostel when i was just 6 and after tht, lived a year with my mom with so much financial crisis. I was just 13 at tht time with my dad miles away from me. Then went to live with my uncle and aunt for 3 years. Got back with family five years ago. I have seen him abuse my mom mentally and physically and me too for smallest reasons, and all in front of my little bros. All along this years I have nothing but hate from him and this makes me suffocate from inside. He calls me incapable, useless and force me to work n takeover his responsibilities while he enjoys with his gf in other countries. With hate and no heart i do it all because I love my brothers and dont want to part with them. I feel like I hate myself and am so afraid to present myself in front of others. And I appear a dumb, arrogant fool in their eyes. I dont know what to do. Just hoping some miracle would take place and everything be better. I am so inconfident and now I have no friends and even my gf left me cause I am afraid of my dad and cant stand up for myself.

What to do?
PELEEB PELEEB
22-25, M
Aug 12, 2010