I Hate Him..

  During ym 17 years on earth my "father" has been a ruthless tryant to me. It all boiled down and collapsed the day he puit a tracker on my computer, Now he sees eerything i do,type(including all passwords) on my computer, in fact hes probably reading this..

  Granted the past 8 or so years i havent been the best son in the world to him, But he has never even come close to being a good dad to me..Somedays he will act all nice, and the next he will once agian b the ruthless coldharted, narrowminded, egotistical, tryant i grown up to.

   Never have i ever felt comforratble going to im about anything nor talking to him, then agtian how could i. Becasue when ever something happens, he yells at me, blames it on me, or whenever thears a conforntation, he qucikly runs to the defesne of the othr pearson. He assumes evertyhing is my fault.

 He thinks i am highly irresponsilbe jsut becase i dont clean my room. When i have never smoked,done drugs, or anything of that naturew, EVER!!!. I have lost many freinds becasue of stuff like that, i have never done anythihng that he would relly dissapove up, yet he thinks i do. Idk why i should keep being some good like then when he thinks im the totaly oppisite.

 He never lsitenas, hes been verbably abusing me my whole life, oppresing me of a social life( weteher he sees it or not) and i have ;learned i can never make him happy, nor talk to him aobut anything. He bleives my sister is so much better and that im evil. However, the only probelm is hes onlya totalt jerk to me, and every else loves him. He is the core reason for my emotianla issues.

  However, i can thank him for manking me who i am to day. I learned all of lifes lessons through myself and the hard way, never could i ask him for support or love, he never showed in of it. I also i am the pearson( even though he thinks otherwise) of morals an values becvasue i stive to be totally unlike him. I know there are ppl wose of in America and ppl worse off aorund the world. I also come from a realativly wealthy family but i would trade all the money and luxruies in the world for a loivng father who will support me and that i can go to i need,

ihatemyd ihatemyd
114 Responses Feb 9, 2008

Any chance my father gets to remind me of mistakes, he takes it. I don;t hate my father. I hate the person he's become. I hate his girlfriend. I constanly get the feeling he only cares about me when he's not ******* his *****. My mother, isn't perfect. but she can take my feelings, dreams, and goals in to consideration.

When I grew up I'll make a foundation were these kinds of fathers go to hell

I live with my mom and dad. My mom is as sweet as sugar when my dad is the exact opposite. I wish my parents were divorced. My dad is so mean to me and I don't know why because he is so nice to my sister. I wish he would die.

My dad is like that to me as well, this is the exact situation i am in

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Hey, me too! All of it! I have had daddy issues my whole life like this. I'm not sure how much it has to do with nationality but I'm Polish and discovered that tons of Polish youth have the same issues with their fathers! My mother was forced to be quiet and/or agree with my dad at all times. I wished for an emotionally available father my whole life. It will never happen. There should be groups for people like us so we can meet up and "have each other's backs!"

I hate my dad too, he thinks he is everything good ****. Its my first time driving and whenever I drive very slowly, he says, "Your mother could walk faster than this" even tho I was driving around our neighbour which clearly says don't go over 20km/h! Every time he makes me his ***** and doesn't appreciate what I can do and gives all support to my big brother who is 16 and can't drive for ****!! My driving is so smooth and yeah, sometimes I turn quickly but I'm only 15. He is 16 and still can't drive for **** and when I say jokingly, "you think I can drive better?" he said "Lol you think you even drive?" Worst part is I am not even allowed to spend my money accordingly how I want and when I ask something from him he says; "You call yourself a man, what kind of man can't make his decisions!". Seriously, I hate him, hope when I grow up I could teach him too look down for once. No denying, I would sacrifice my whole living conditions just to get a poor but a perfect father to support me when I need, I don't need stuff to make me happy, I need trust, companionship and support that is all I need in the world and I would give him everything after I grow up in return.

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i hat my father..he just makes me feel sad, leserable, broken and never feel good he just make me have the ugliest worst life nd make me wish death..i can stand going to hell but cant stand seeing his face nor hearing his voice cuz all i think about is all the sad memories he gave me all the broozes me and my lovely mom got from his beating in the past years ...MAY HE BURN IN HELL !!

I hate my dad, I think he is an emotionally weak lying back stabbing stupid Dickhead, when I think of him I want to vomit hard and fast.

I hate my dad too. I Always hated him, since I was little. Now I am a 24 years old male, a few months ago I changed my last name just cause I hate him so much. Also I hate my dad's Side of the family. So I feel better that I will never see him again

okay that tracking thing is way out of line. parents need to give kids space. oppressed kids will go INSANE with even a little bit of freedom compared to what they have now. im 18 but a girl and my brother is 14 and is given much more freedom and it just makes me want to leave my family. your father is probably VERY emotional and VERY unstable himself and thats probably why he does it himself..the weak pick on people to seem strong..

i hate my dad too

I am almost completely the opposite even though I hated my dad. My dad cheated on my mom, and didn't tell her about it until last year, when he said they had a daughter, and he will be moving back and forth to that daughter and our home. My mom wept a lot for the past year and even thought of suicide. I hated him even though he seems like a nice person but on the inside he's just selfish and greedy.even though he did provide a lot money to our home, he won't even repay me by buying a smartphone for me.our house never had laughter, instead was full of fights and tears. I hated my dad

My dad is the exact same.
Although i dont have a sister but a sportier, less bookish brother.

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.

Yea....I know how you feel. My dad tells me to clean something then he says I'm doing it wrong so then he does it himself and then complains that I do not do anything around the house. UNfortunately I have to live with him with my daughter because I have no other place to go right now since my divorce. I only work, take upthree college courses and run my daughter around week. He thinks everything is my fault and told my aunt when I graduated community college that " any idiot can graduate from that school". Now that he sees I make 26/hour, he asked me " how the hell did you get that job?"... I can't wait to move out again, long story on why I can't move out now with the money Im making. Oh and when i had my daughter 10 years ago, he threw me out of the house and told me to stay in the shelter. After I fell and hurt myself when I was pregnant, he took me back in the house but told me " I bet you'll get pregnant again within three years". I should've taken that bet because its been 10 years and I still don't have another baby even after being married for three years.

My dad isn't as bad but whenever i ask him anything or tell him something he doesn't get it i guess its because he doesn't know how to express his love or he wants us to be strong

<p>Dear Dad,</P><br />
<p>All the abuse that you have given me over the years has sunk in and congealed at the very center of my being, affecting everything I do and all of my relationships. After all these 30 years you haven't changed, even when I finally had the courage to tell you what was really going on. You pushed me to success? No. You pushed me into a life of wishing I could take the easier way out. You brough me back from suicidal drinking, and FORCED me to get better. You FORCED me into this life you call striving for success that is only a life deadlines I can't meet and a series of Doctors appointments trying to figure out why I'm so messed up. You call this life. You couldn't handle my suicide, so you brought me back so you can tell me how I'm wrong and what I need to do even more. How terribly selfish of you. You don't care that I'm miserable now, let alone try to do something about it. I still can't talk to you because you will tell me how i'm wrong. Dad, I see now that we will never get along and niether of us will change. I hate the fact that I see myself turning out like you sometime, you hypocrite. I hope you are happy. I might call you dad as a name. You were a decent provider, but a terrible father. I hope you are happy.</P>

Dude I totally agree

I was trying to see if other people went through what I go through when it comes to my dad and these stories describe my father almost perfectly.. he never supports me and he spends 80% of the time yelling and totally screaming at the top of his lungs.. im 16 and im really tired of his bs. I just want t either go live with my mom and never speak to my father again... but I know that I might regret that.. and the whole ordeal about living with my mom is very complicated we live in different hemispheres. Idk what to do at this point im just exhausted and turn all the anger that my father gives me into fuel for sports and when it comes to lifting... because of him I can be a very short fuzzed person and I've gotten into fights because of it. All I now and beg is that I am nothing, nothing like him when I grow up

I am tired of my dad drinking and starts to get angry at me and my mom even when I don't do anything and do good job

I am in quiet d=same situation, as I am going to get scowled for getting just above average, but not top marks in my school in 2 hours when he comes back from work, this is giving me strength. Good thing he doesn't have a tracker - i think he doesn't -

yea u r very correct.my father(aragent fellow) he scold me with a most deadly bad words because i am playing games in the computer he some times acts as a very good dad but he never talk happy to me. i some time get very angry i go into such a way to die what can i do please help me.he is the very bad dad in the world.we should not say him as dad ediotic fellow

Wow.... my dad and ur dad is almost alike....

i have a dad that same as yours is sad n painful

Your story is so similar to mine. I grew up with everything money, cars and clothes but the only thing I didn't have was love. I hated my family especially my dad who would argue with me and he even beat me once. My mother I hate her just as much for letting him do it to me and then afterwards she made it clear she thought it was my fault. When somebody is abusive it is important to remember its not your fault.

you are very correct

Sounds just like my depressing child/teenage hood. My father is a great provider but that's all he is to me now and forever. He's always trying to change me to become the person he wants me to be. Anything I do is ever good enough. And quite frankly, I've given up. He always tries to make out as if he's the best dad ever and everything he does it out of love and for the best for me, but honestly if he did feel that way, I wouldn't feel so crap about myself and feel like a failure in life. He has beaten me up before for going out with a boy that he didn't like, after he told me not to. He's not my mother for ridiculous reasons, and hit both my sister and I for not getting the best grades or reports at school, or even understanding a math problem. He cannot control his anger, he takes everything too far. After he found out about the boy I was with earlier, he took my phone, and my laptop, and pretty much all of my freedom. I am 19 years old, almost 20, bare in mind. I did not get an offer to study medicine in the U.K, where I am from, so he said I could study it abroad in Bulgaria, which I am very happy about, as it would mean I will be miles away from the monster he is. I am currently on a gap year from hell, and everyday I just become more and more fed up with my whole situation. Since I have no freedom, I'm not allowed to go out to visit my friends or hang out with them like everyone else does. He set up a tracker or whatever stupid thing you call it on my laptop, and saw that I went on facebook. He hacked onto it and read my messages with a boy, and flipped out. He said he would be watching me when I move, and that he would no longer buy me an apartment and that I would have to share a room with a girl. He also said that he would have people over there watching me waiting for me to get caught going out to a club or having a drink or, god forbid, talking to a boy before I finish my degree. This control over my life is driving me crazy. All of us, my mother, sister and I live in fear of him, and I can only hope that my partner and kids never have to feel this way. And I certainly hope that my kids don't ever feel as if they want to leave home as soon as possible and ultimately come to hate me. I know he's just trying to show that he cares, but don't you think (I certainly do) that he is going about it all the wrong way?

The path that you chose to take, being the total opposite of what your father was to you; is totally the best thing that you could do. Human as we all are, we're bound to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Hopefully, you'll find that space in your heart to forgive and accept your dad despite the pain that he's given you.

It's so sad to read that we all have a father who isn't or hasn't been the father we all wished for. :(

I know how difficult this is. Believe me. Sometimes it's just a phase, but in my case it wasn't. Most of the negative things your father says to you, he's telling to himself really. You must be aware that you're not his target, that the problem is his, you're just experiencing a reflection of that, though it does hurt, I know.<br />
<br />
Love yourself and build your own confidence, though you must know it takes longer. He does not know what he's missing.

*sighs* I experience this too.I always envy my friends whose dad are so supportive of whatever they are doing and always encourage them doesn't scold them and talk nicely instead.I learn piano so i am always playing it in my house and i play them mostly when my dad happen to be around cos I am only free or at home at tht time.He will always ask me not to play,he say wht i am playing is not nice and i always play the same thing when he doesn't even care to listen to what i am playing i play pop songs and classical songs.Then he will say if u are a genius or have talent thn u should play piano or else it is just wasting money.Thn he say i no talent want to learn people play piano.Thn he will always buy chocos or tidbits for my younger bro and ask him to eat when i am not around or keep it in a hidden place,dun let me eat etc,he say i bigsize alr still want to eat when i am AVERAGE size only.well to people nowadays i may be fat bt to me i am average and healthy thn when i told him i want to be an actress he will say i so bigsize still want be actress thn once he asked me why was i home os early i told him school had 5km marathon so no school and he said i so bigsize how can i run.and he always scolds me for every small thing like i did not wash the plates or clean the hair on the floor in my room say next%2ptime ur friend come i will surely tell them or if my religious class people was arnd he would tell them tell his friends what kind of daughter i am and let them laugh at me,disgrace me.thn he will always scold me no commonsense and is the worlds' stupidest person stupider thn a pig thn yesterday he was on leave and my mum asked him to clean 4he house he scolded me say he on leave and i expect him to help clean my room he say he on leave is to relax not do this kind of thing and this kind of thing should be i do and he say he would slap me the next time he sees the floor dirty or my mum asks him to clean the house and say what is the use of bringing me up.And then everything he will scold me and blame me when it is sometimes only a coincidence that the computer experience problems and i was there doing something at tht time he will just scold me.Anything he would ask me to do and not my brother saying he is still young and when my brother tried to help he would ask him to let me do it myself when my brother is grade 6!Once he poured water on me to "wake me up".When he is always playing computer games from 6pm plus to night always lazing around

ok dont hate me because i believe in God but if u dont know who he is read about Him i have that type of father 2 i hate him so much i want 2 cry :[ but heres a verse JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. ROMANS 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this;while we were still sinners Christ died for us. GOD BLESS

You say that you come from a well off family. I am curious as to why your spelling is so poor? This topic is an interest of mine since I am a dad who wants to learn and hear of others experiences.

Spelling isn't a #1 problem here, as with most of the Internet. Anyways, what everyone is saying is that being a father doesn't mean having a pet that you can abuse and he will still love you. The string between son and dad is usually very weak, and I assure you, don't cut it. Let your son know what's good and what's evil, but don't force it onto him, as he needs to learn it himself, usually by mistakes, and sometimes by coincidence. Reward him when he does something good and punish him when he does something bad intentionally (For instance, he cut a cable with scissors after an argument, so take something of value away from him for a duration of time, like a toy, or if he's too old, steal a vital piece of equipment from the computer, like the mouse, it's always good when you're creative. It's harsh, and not really going to be approved, but we mostly learn from our mistakes, and I hope the kid will too.) And don't expect a lot of gratitude until he's going to be well in his 20's. You're doing a long-term job and the fruits of your labor will only suffice at the very end. And please, please, PLEASE don't forget to still love him unconditionally, show him that you mean it as well, get creative about it.

I not hate my dad but I dislike him very much that I do not want to talk to him anymore. He does not like me ever since I was small. He will scold me every day. I was so depressed that I failed my studies. He only like my brother and sister that he dont scold them or ask them to do housework. He will order me to do and if I dont do, he will tell everybody that I am useless. He always talk bad about me to his friends and relatives.<br />
When I was in secondary one, I bought him a belt for his birthday and got a harsh scolding. Another time was he verbal abused me with valgar language during a wedding dinner where we sit with strangers. And it went on for 10mins. I was so angry that I wanted to walk away but that place was quite remote and I dont have transport to get home and so I tolerated. I promised myself that I will get away from his tyrany when the time is ripe.<br />
<br />
Finally, I got to know this girl and got married and moved out. In the first year, he always call me and ask me to go home to do housework. I always hang up his call but he kept calling. After a few times, I totally ignore his call.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, he will forget me when he get older. My life is a lot happier without him.

Your story was lost in the vast amount of spelling errors.

my dads thrown shoes in my face, punched me (and my mom and sister) id f uckin kill him if i could. id stab him in his throat and taunt him will he f uckin bled to death.....abusive f ucker deserves to die.

i am 19 now and i feel the same! having to put up with an irresponsible adult whom the world calls your father is by far the most horrible experience! it only gets worse with each passing day! and to add to all the woes is the cultural constrict over at the place where i live! the rest of my family is no better either! all i wanna do is just get outta this hell hole! they tear me down! i yearned my whole for a lil love and attention from them but in vain! how i wish all of this...all of this pain and these people...just...just never existed.. all in all i dont think i could hate my family and specially my dad more but somehow they surprise me with each passing day.. I hate my family and i loathe my father!

my dad also vary bad .he didant undastand me.he all say iam a big losser.thay alway say i cant do any thing in my life, he spoil my holl life.today i am 32 year old. cant do any thing in my life.due to my father .he use me like sarvnent<br />
i hate my father till my death.

Your dad is soooo mean, shame on him!! :(

my dad is exactly like yours...............its hard to hate him or love him

Wow, I am reading these things and I am just amazed!! I am a Mom (30 something :0) Grew up with some rough parents myself. when you have kids, then you worry about making the same mistakes...but for so many of you above, first VERY GOOD THING that you are doing is talking to other people about this stuff and getting some feedback and finding other people who deal with the same things. I thought I was alone when I was a kid and no one else knew or understood! Sounds to me like bunch of frustrated fathers probably about their own personal lives. Frustration of not having "fulfilled" all their dreams and the even bigger frustration that their kids are not allowing them to live their unfullfilled dreams through them! there are parents out there who just want to have the perfect kid...of course perfection is defined by their own means. Each person has to find their own individuality at some point and NO ONE IS PERFECT! For those of you staying out of drugs, alcohol and all the "bad stuff" DONT GIVE UP, even if your parents dont see the good in this. there comes a point, you have to do things because YOU KNOW that is the right thing to do even when your parents cant see or appreciate what you are doing! I hope for all of you these really hard situations make you stronger, when you think you cant take it anymore, I hope you find strengthand hope to continue and make it through. many of you will have children one day and I hope these experiences help you in becoming a good Dad. I believe everything happens for a reason and can work for the good of a person in the very end if you allow it to. It is soo soo hard but i hope you can try really hard to allow these things to mold you into an even better person and dont let "them" crush you. In the end, I believe (whether they say it to you or not...ever) they know what they do is wrong and should be filled with guilt in their heart. It is so hard to make someone happy who just is miserable inside and takes that misery out on someone that they can, someone weaker than they are or someone who is just allowing them to...one day, even though it seems so far away, you will grow up and move away and will have your own life. Their control / pressure/ and abuse will not be there anymore. They are risking loosing you as a child forever....one way or another, they will have to let you go...there is a good saying....if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not, it never was yours. when that day comes and you fly away from the nest, they risk loosing you forever and that is the WORST punishment for a parent that their child grows up and does not want to have anything to do with them. then they end up lonely, old. Life is too short. The abuse they put upon you will find them in the end...when they are sitting alone in the room, old and VERY lonely. so put down the bat and the nail gun. they are setting themselves up for the worst punishment later if they dont change their ways and embrace their children. God has only given you to them for a short time to teach about life, to nurture to healthy wholesome people. It is their loss if they dont fulfill this role. you will fly and never come back.

Everyone is always saying I have the best family, because we have a big house and a lot of stuff, but **** that. My family sucks ***. Nobody knows the true them but me. I'm leaving to college and I can't wait. I wont be back for breaks or anything. I'm done with this stupid family.

i am exactly with ppl say my dad is the best they wish they had it <br />
but my dad is an ******* he married a woman that if i eat food she makes i mite die i have to becareful with the things i eat in my house espcelially when she cooks my dad is nice at one moment cause ur dad is better he good at one day no mine is good at a moment and then i wish a had a 9mm i shot

my dad is the same exact way with me and it is getting so hard to even live with him

Look dude, I know that sometimes our fathers can make us REALLY angry. I feel like that right now too, but you have to keep in mind that they do a shitload of stuff for us that we often dont take into account. Hell, the fact that your father didn't abandon your family and run off from his responsibilities is something, even if he is a horrible person. Cause theres nothing worse than a dead beat Son of a *****, who doesnt even raise his kids

Wow, reading your story is full on EXACTLY the same as mine. Are we twins?<br />
But seriously. my dad did the same computer tracking thing AND he goes mental over a messy room.<br />
I have 3 siblings, i am the eldest and two younger. Its like when i was a kid he though "nah, dont like this one, the other two will do better"<br />
I don't understand why people, like our fathers, have kids. They clearly hate them.<br />
Its amazing that you wrote this. Thought i was one of the few.<br />
Wonder why the messy room is a big deal?

Wow. Every single little thing you wrote is just like my dad. Im so glad im not the only one feeling this pain. I get phisially and mentally abused almost every 2-3 days/ each week. Its so sad. He hits me for no reasons too and i cant even do anything about it. He blames for things i didnt do and puts my self-esteem down low. He hits me hard and gives me bruises.I wanna kill him but at the same time its sad if he dies. i want him to get out of my life at times and sometimes i don't. He says that i don NOTHING good in life but actually im one of the straight A students. Im 12 and i have lots of friends. Yet i cant get over my sadness. He always scowls at me like i did something wrong already but i didnt. At the randomest freaking times he slaps me or punches me or pushes me down. I just wanna get out of here. God help me. I get treated like im nothing at home. So i always try to get out of the house but he gets mad at me. He makes me feel like im nothing. Like im useless. Can anyone help me. ):

I hate my father too. I feel so sorry for you guys because you've had/got it much worse than me, and I wouldn''t be here if I didn't think my father was a totally substandard human being with no understanding of - or wish to understand - the feelings of other human beings on the planet. He is a complete and utter narcissist. I know that when you try to explain your unfair treatment to outsiders, especially when you are still a teen, people brush it aside as teenaged complaining. I am now 33 and I still bear the scars of the verbal and emotional abuse I suffered as a child and adolescent. I can relate to the people who say it is just them, not their sister/brother - that was exactly my experience. My sister was a little submissive suck-up and goody-two-shoes who never got on the wrong side of daddykins and NEVER stuck up for me. People used to say my father and I were too alike, or it was a personality clash, but as I've matured I've realised that NOONE would be able to get along with that man for any length of period. He has NO friends and it's taken him 20 years to find a new partner after my mother died. Nobody can figure out what my mother even ever saw in him. He is selfish, narcisstic, rude, egotistical, judgemental and, to top it all off, entirely hypocritical. He goes around pointinng out everyone else's flaws whilst being totally unable to countenance any flaws within HIMSELF. I had to leave home at seventeen because I couldn't stand him anymore, yet my sister stayed at home and worked full time and earned enough money to travel to England because she was living rent-and-board free for a couple of years. I had to look after myself from when I left school. Whenever I (reluctantly) asked my dad for any help, he would scream abuse at me as punishment for his own inability to say no to anything. I would've just rather received a 'no,' but he was unable to say that, because he's full of fear. He is entirely passive-aggressive and expects everyone else to read his mind and anticipate - and serve - his needs and desires without him even needing to communicate them verbally to people. He bottles his feelings up inside and then explodes out of the blue. He did that to me once when I was fourteen or so IN PUBLIC. I had tried to leave a disco early, at ten pm, like he'd asked, but they had a policy of not letting us out before a certain time. Before I even had a chance to explain he exploded in front of everyone and the whole place froze. He has also dummy-punched me in the face. My sister 'can't remember' any of the above and presumably thinks I'm lying, but as my boyfriend points out, she probably can't handle the truth. Anyway, my boyfriend has seen the way my father treats me even now and reckons I should just cut the man out of my life. I finally feel as if someone is on my side, after all these years. I have lived out of home for many years, as i said earlier, but I still had to take my memories with me.

well your dad is a ***** *** and he is stupid.

well your dad is a ***** *** and he is stupid.

well your dad is a ***** *** and he is stupid.

do not try to be the best son, be a rival to his power.... Challenge him and totally crush him... Make sure he will not stand up against you ever..... Do you know that in every second that you try to please that kind of father, you are actually making him judge you more. Live your own life, and earn income so that he cannot strangle you completely. Also, make a a lot of friends, really, be close to them. Learn also how to live on your own, how to earn effectively and cut off your ties from them...... Your ambition is more important than him, he will soon die... In fact, he will die first.... Live out your life....Do not be afraid.....

My fathers the same, today soon as he got out of the bed he wanted the computer and when I started to say slowly started logging of the stuff I did (Probably because I didn’t get off fast enough) , he would uncontrollably beat me up, scream at me and then he smashed my Xbox (which could be only the way I would control stress), he would constantly yell at me saying things like "Every family's children study well win awards and gets scholarships, while you get nothing", keeping in mind I'm one of the best in my class, to be specific around the 3rd and still keeping in mind that I'm in 7th grade. He wants me to study every single day and not do anything else, but whenever I have a test I study constantly non<x>stop. I play a bit of games after school (2 hours) to kind of relax and then when my dad comes from work he would start screaming at me.....<br />
<br />
Even when I was really small he would beat me up really badly. Like when I dropped a glass (around $2) and gave him a bit of a cut. He beat me up so badly and started yelling "I want kill this little pr*ck" and he kicked me down the stairs because of the same reason. This is not all he did way and still beats me at 13 years of age......<br />
<br />
I have no friends at school probably because I'm Sri Lankan and people would talk sh*t behind my back. They would insult me about curry (which is very different from Indian curry, which has a strong smell and we don’t add garlic). I don’t know what to do........... Is it caz I’m black? Since I have no friends I really have no one to talk about it. It just makes it so stressful finding yourself as a loner, while back in my primary school I had many friends and almost had a gf.<br />
<br />
My dad does not to blind see all this. He knows what happens to me at school. He could at least act a little kind to me........... I have no idea what to do......... I think I’m at the point of killing myself’ .........or maybe killing him?

I feel very sorry about your experience.
You must go out and seek for help. You could call 911, really. Just because he's your father, it doesn't mean you are doomed to stick with him.
Good luck.

Dude..... Make friends..... Isolation makes you weak, having friends makes you stronger...... People have imperfections but they can still be your friends... Give them a positive image.... They are the ones who can save you.... Who can lead you to opportunities in life. I felt that same rejection but they are people too, to be honest, just be close to them and if you become more handsome to look at, they will respect you.... Also, try this, always say to yourself, "I am handsome, as handsome as my idols. I will be like them someday, I will be someday rich, I have everything I need." Trust me, that will make you feel good. Move on, adjust to the environment, do what the environment does...... If I offended you, I am sorry but I know I am still right... :D

I have very similar stories, too. I, too, am a typical simple and kind school boy who never done drug, smoke, or being wasteful, but my father would never be satisfied about who I am. <br />
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My story may be nothing compare to other abusing father stories. Although my father has never physical abused me, but he has verbally abused me my whole life. Every time he speaks to me was about things he did not like about me. He's a typical over controlling parent. Not just me, he felt he had run every single thing and everyone in the family in his very own way. He would never see other points of view, because he does not care. He believed only his way is the right way. He never listened. Whenever I tried to defend myself or simply giving my opinions, he would shut me up or change subject. <br />
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When I was 17, I finally realized the fact that I would never be able to get through to this man, and no one could. I stopped fighting with him by stop defending myself and let him say whatever he had to say. I tried to avoid having conversation with him, because he's the kind of person who would turn any conversation into an argument, and he would not stop until you admit he's right. I thought I could just keep on pretending that I don't care until he got laid off when he started being at home all the time. I don't blame him for not being able to find another job, I admit that he had been a hard working man and he deserves a little rest. But I couldn't stand he starts to interfere every little thing that I do, including how I arrange my desk, how to wash dishes, even how fast or slow I ate my dinner. <br />
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My dad should knew I have self-esteem issues because of him, but he continues making me feel even more inferior. Recently, he even stopped letting me to do housework. Whenever I tried to help out around the house, even just a little, he would yell at me and say I never done thing right and make his life miserable. Today, we just had a big fight. It started because he found me making my own lunch when he came back. He was mad because I did not let him know ahead about what I was doing and again criticize everything little thing I did (like where I placed my spoon before I eat). <br />
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My father wanted everyone in the family be totally dependent on him. He treated his families like pets or even puppets in his playhouse game. Today I was stupid enough to try to communicate with him. The result was the same as always: he started yelling nonsenses and forced me to say things like everything he said was right and I was being a jerk to him. <br />
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I hated him. I always hated him. But I hated myself even more for hating my own father who happened to raised me. I know deep down my father is a good man. What made him mad was his families; his father never paid attention to him and his brother always judged him. My father never knew what he did wrong, it's hard to hate a person who simply doesn't know better.<br />
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I don't know how long I could stand living like this. I often feel I want to beat him up just to make him listen to a word I had to say, and I've been having these nightmares. <br />
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Sometimes I wish he's been physical abusing me like other terrible parents, so I could hate him and beat him and even kill him. <br />
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Sorry for any typo and bad grammar.

Compete with him, defeat him in his game..... I know you can do it... Manipulate him into sending you out of that hell house, trick him into submission. No one can control us unless if we let anyone to do so..... Go and earn income, have a lot of friends, learn a lot of things about the world. Be a smart opponent...... It his game for you to hate yourself, love yourself more and you will see on his face that he is being defeated..... Forgive him only when he asks you, for he might abuse it... But, let that emotional pain motivate you to get rich since it is the only way out of those situations.

im also 17 and my dad was abusive to my mum, sister and me until i was 15 then i lost it and shot him 23 times with a nail gun he ran out the house and we haven't heard or seen him in 2 years its briliant

my dad sexually abused me as a child it started from when i was six years old until my 12th birthday, the day i told my mom it broke her heart, she didn't believe me though... four years goes by, my ten year old little sister Makenna told my mother that my father had told her he was going to "make her become a woman" and preformed in such act. i have not been happy in a long time, between court cases and dealing with my mom's Cervical cancer i don't know how much longer i can stand it, but you are 17 years old, and with perfect grades you will do great. Just remember there really is someone worse off then yourself be lucky god gifted you with the ability to test well!

i feel for you. i`m 14 and my dad always yells at me for every little thing i do. the other day i left an empty bowl on the couch and he yelled at me and grounded me from the tv for a week. every thing i do wrong,i get yelled at for. he constantly yells at me for being irresponsible . i take care of a dog and a fish tank with no help, i mange to get good grades and i think drugs are disgusting. my mom praises my artistic abilities and my dad ignores me . he usually doesnt talk to me unless its to point out my flaws , yell at me for a mistake or just to put me down in genral.

i was molested by my father and my uncle from age 3 to age 8. during that time i was raped, beaten, had lit cigerettes put out on me, shocked with a stungun on my nuts, had my hand shoved in boiling water, whipped, cut on, and forced to sleep naked in a metal shed in winter. they even tried to drown me. now keep in mind i beat the hell out of my "father" on my 18th birthday while at school. and a few weeks ago he thought he would stalk my sister, so i showed up at his place and broke both his kneecaps and his jaw.



i DUnt know wht 2 do i hv da same situatiON az YU .<br />
Yur stORy made me Cry and COUldNt even stOPEd ma Tearz every nit am Crying i hv no SOluTION maybe am da WORst boi and he iz da best DAD

Im sorry about that and I know how you feel. My dad sold my laptop and baught a computer with a huge screen on it and put it where he could see it he told my friends and family its because i MIGHT do bad things online, which I havent. My dad also likes to argue over everything and treats my mother like crap.He loves calling me mean names and embarresing me infront of his friends. He cannot be wrong or else im blamed. I cant stand to be in the same house as him let alone be called his daughter :(

to a few idiots out there who dont think their dads care. from what i have seen dads are tough. and they do there best to toughen you up! so dont think that your dad hates you because he thinks your irresponsible just because you didnt clean your room! i dont care if you smoked or not! that doesnt make a difference! own up to your responsibilities you slackers! you have to pass simple responsibilities before you are able to move onto bigger ones. so if you cant prove to him that you can at least you clean your room then YES!! you are VERY irresponsible!! stop actin like he doesnt care just because your tryin to be emo!

You know what if your dad is a b**** like mine you would understand


i dont have a f***** dad. he didnt care enough to stick around. he actualy told me to "get out of his life" when i just wanted 5 minutes to talk. so i could have some closure after 18 years of not being around. so ya, mabey i dont understand what having a dad is like but i have seen other peoples fathers. its just what fathers seem to do. now if he is physically hitting you thats different but if he is just being a hard a$$ it problobly means that you gave him reason to be.

You\'re lucky...

Sounds familiar to me too. it also sounds like he has multiply personality's like my father did. he actually has a mental disorder.

i feel exactly the same way. he and my mom are FINALLY getting a divorce, (good for my mom, to get away from that evil tyrant) and now if he ever comes into my house (he moved to a small apartment now) he will find a way to blame me for his problems and ridicule me for things i don't do. i wish he would honestly just get out of my life, at least for a while, until he can learn that i am important, and shouldn't be treated like a piece of crap. i deserve respect, and he needs to realize that. if i do something wrong, or something HE thinks is wrong, he will threaten to rip up my clothes to shreds. if my mom isn't there to stop him, he does it. sometimes, if shes there, he does it anyway out of pure anger. my mom has told me many times as i grew up to "never marry a man like your father". and i intend to shut him out of my life as soon as possible for as long as possible. since my little brother was born, even when he was 1 or 2, too young to comprehend what he did was wrong, my dad would take his little toys that he played with and break them to pieces or throw them in the trash. my sister as well. my grandma (his mom) even knows what he does is horrific, and my mom confides with her when he does these things (about 2 times a day). i try to confide in my mom, but her only advice to me for now is to not engage and tell him what he wants to hear. sure, it works for that one moment, but i have no idea what to do to help him in the future. my mom tried to get him to go to therapy for anger management, to talk to a shrink, to take some pills, ANYTHING to keep our family safe from his tyrannic ways. but he always ignored her requests and denied he had a problem. until he realizes that what he does is tearing our family apart, i will have to deal with the consequences. today, he got mad for some reason i don't know, and came in the house screaming at me for "not cleaning well enough" after i spent about 3 hours cleaning my room and the kitchen. my mom wasn't home yet. he messed up my room and told me to redo it, and threatened to smash my computer to pieces if i didn't. since he already took the lock off my door long ago, i barricaded it with my futon, bookshelf, deskchair, trashcan, and laundry basket. hopefully he won't get in. i can't stand the thought of seeing him again. those ob<x>ject blocking my door are more metaphoric to me than physically trying to block the door. i feel like if i ever was at such a low point that i needed to block him out of my life, i would be able to find the strength to do so. as of now, i don't think that's possible. i wish i could push him out of my life as easily as i can my room. i want the life that i see my friends living, with their fathers always there, to hug and love them. my father was never there for me. he would never love me, or give a **** about me once in my whole life. i hate him. i wish he would realize that.

that's exactly like me. i feel the same way. i've considered suicide a few times, but i don't want my parents to get in the way of my life. i wonder what would happen if i was never born. wouldn't that be a lot simpler? i mean, if i have to choose between living but suffering and non-living but not suffering, i would definately feel that the right way for me is to be not-living. this website has helped me a lot. when i read all these posts and comments, i feel i'm not alone in this world. i'm a christian and i believe in god. i believe he's watching right now what i'm typing. but he's not doing anything about what i'm going through. thanks for all your support.

My dad sucks balls. He put a tracker on my comp so I stuck a keylogger on all his comps including mine. He verbally abuses me and thinks i'm irresponsible and shi and I haven't done ****. Yeh Im 13 and I have drunk alcohol twice at school but whatever. He is a **** addicted freeak as the keylogger never lies. O and did I also say he verbally abuses my mom. I hate that ******. Oh and I'm on my iPod so he can't track this

My dad sucks balls. He put a tracker on my comp so I stuck a keylogger on all his comps including mine. He verbally abuses me and thinks i'm irresponsible and shi and I haven't done ****. Yeh Im 13 and I have drunk alcohol twice at school but whatever. He is a **** addicted freeak as the keylogger never lies. O and did I also say he verbally abuses my mom. I hate that ******. Oh and I'm on my iPod so he can't track this

you do have problematic dad. but others have still worst. Hope even ur problem gets solved.

FACT - you are the better person, it doesn't matter what abuse he gives you because if that was a stranger it would be wrong. Just because he is your farther doesn't make it right for him to put you down.<br />
You are not your farther, you contain split dna, also from your mother, making you a completely different person, your individuality should be respected and is a gift. Those who cannot give you the respect and love that you need are not goof farthers, those who mock you to the point that you question yourself and get a deep feeling inside that makes you feel useless are not good farthers. It may be hard to believe and deep down you will say. but its my dad and he must be right really, well hes not. Stay strong and understand that you are someone he likes to take his stress and anger out on. <br />
If you want to get back at him, do not rise to any insult, that is very effective and he will know that his own son is more mature, yet he will carry on as he does not have the balls to stand down. Many dads try to put forward a display of power, they are 'perfect' and can never be wrong. <br />
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However the best thing to do is, speak to your mother if she can be trusted. and study hard, get off to uni and keep telling yourself you will be a better man because of this, and your kids will be treated right, with respect. When you do have kids, never make the mistake in thinking that you 'own' them, in more ways than the contrary you will never own them, they are free and to be loved no matter which or what way they choose. The reward from this will be love in return, and then you have craked it, and will bring your children up the right way!<br />
<br />
I believe that men get their traits, half learnt from their own dads behavior towards them. For example, my grandad's dad was a man who displayed punishment and was very harsh and abusive towards my grandad, he would beat him and show him almost no love, i think that my grandad grew up with this and he is now that lovely person and would never have been like that to my own dad, who is now the opposite, mabye because of his dads 'soft ways' and my dad acts like my grandads dad, the best way to describe him in one word is (superior), and with that comes many bad traits.<br />
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Finally, show them what you can do, you will be successful in bringing up your own kids, and never let those insults go past your ears, to your heart and soul!

That is absoloutly the smae as my dad, i ******* hate him!! also my dad gets rid of me, sends me out just so can have sex with my Mum, I ACTUALLY HATE HIM

i'm so sorry. i know exactly how you feel. my dad is the same way.

that sounds pretty much exactly like my dad :(

Are stories are similar and not similar. You might want to take back what u said about u would give anything to have a loving dad. Well guess what, my dad loves me. Let me say it this way.... My Dad LOVES me so much he's over protective he treats me like I don't know anything which annoys the crap out of me TO DEATH. He let's me have no life, or at least tries.... :) he's so consertive it's bot even funny!!!! He embarrass's me sometimes cuz he does weird stuff. I also come from a pretty wealthy family. See my dads dad died when he was ******* 19 years old so I think he doesn't really know what its like to have a father or to be a father in that case because he never had one... He can't relate to anything I'm going through with him or how I'm feeling toasted him because his father died when he was 19!!!! I Honestly wish I had a dad who loved me mother ******* less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhbhhh or was just nutural about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh he beat me a few times too slamming my head into the ground and crushing my ribs with his knee just because he thought my mother ******* tone wasn't respectful... Know what.... I call that a ******* *** ****** dad if u ask me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah and I don't care about anything he says!!!! I just listen to him while my minds somewear els. One time I heard him say " so what do u think" ? And to my amazement I actually did not hear a word he said the entire time he was talking to me. Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just kinda being good right now cuz I want him to buy me a car and other stuff before I totally dump him and leave this **** *** house hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yeah. Go to Hell!!!!!!!!!

i hate my dad. i have to make through 18 holes of golf with that piece of !@$%. he supposivly get cranky in public apperences. i think he thinks he is some over lord or something. he always says do what you are told but im trying, colledge is hard. my dad is harder.

yah mate i hear ya' my dad yells at me over the smallest of things, i cant feel comfortable asking to go to someones house, or go out somewhere without him yelling or complaining, so i never get to go to friends places, i dont do drugs or smoke, i highly disaprove of that **** but still i feel as if though he thinks i do them, as far as im concerned i hate living with this ****, i have to get a haircut when i dont want to, he yells and screams, calls me "little ****" or any thing related, you could say i love him, but someitmes i feel thats fading, at least hes showed me something, hes showed me the person i shouldnt be, and that very person is him

yah mate i hear ya' my dad yells at me over the smallest of things, i cant feel comfortable asking to go to someones house, or go out somewhere without him yelling or complaining, so i never get to go to friends places, i dont do drugs or smoke, i highly disaprove of that **** but still i feel as if though he thinks i do them, as far as im concerned i hate living with this ****, i have to get a haircut when i dont want to, he yells and screams, calls me "little ****" or any thing related, you could say i love him, but someitmes i feel thats fading, at least hes showed me something, hes showed me the person i shouldnt be, and that very person is him

i think one of their main problems is living their life through your own.. they just want to be in control.. one day im going to turn around and stab my fkn useless dad

Same here mate. my dad is a ****

**** these creatures they think they gon'be in dat position of power forever but the payback time will come and there's nothin' they can about it it's just how life works what comes around goes around maybe today is their's but tomorrow is mine and when dat day comes I'ma squeeze it to da last drop I ain't gon'be Mr."be nice to u're old he's your father" **** that, what da **** was I to him when ******* all ova me ha, I'ma give'em a taste from his own medicine matter fact I'ma Let'em drink drink da ******' whole bottle. <br />
God knows how much I hate this ********** I reached da point where I'am Hattin my own brothers just for da fact they're from him.

My "dad" is simply an ahole. There is NOTHING good to be said about him. In fact, i don't even call him dad, and i can't remember last time i did. He acts like a 4 year old "not getting the toys", has no education (works as a carpet fitter/floor la<x>yer). He raises hell about nothing and minor things. My mom pays all the bills.He blows it away on skiing holidays and things we or he don't need. When he is on the phone with someone he switches to the mr. nice guy mode, but when hangs up he's a douchbag.Throws in the thrash/gives away things that is not supposed to be thrown away ( he gave our drying rack to the neighbor, when we needed it), and has no respect for my stuff or others. Says derogatory things all the time especially to me and my mom (not so bad on my siblings) Gets drunk at home often watching TV/dvds. Takes no self criticism. I hate him so much...

I hate my dad, too. He always finds the ways to control my life. My life is always controled. That's not the way I want to live my own life. He's so pathetic. His life has been done so far but he just never gets it. I usually had a dream that I don't wear pants/shirt in public places and everybody laughs at me. And then I find out it means someone intervenes my life too much and I don't have personal privacy. I HATE HIM

I can relate to you're story very much. My father loves my two older sisters and me very much. I do come from a fairly wealthy family, we are indian, and my father had come from rags to riches upon entering this country. In the indian culture, the son is usually supposed to be the favorite child (not being sexist), and if not that, the youngest, as well. My father is a cold-heated man at times and was abused physically as a child. As a result, he never abused us. Instead, he chose the middle child (my sister) as his favorite.<br />
When I tell my mom about this, she becomes compassionate with me and takes my side. She has been the only person who has shown me proper parental care since I was little. She does love all of her children equally and she is also the reason why I am sane and my family is held together in the present day. <br />
I have come up with an analysis on my dad's strategy. He portrays my middle sister to be the model child by treating her the way that he does(showering her with gifts, praise, etc.). He then mentally messes my older sister and me by comparing our faults to my middle sister's good behavior(even though when she messes up worse than us, it's excusable). He always tells us " Why cant you be nice like (my middle sister's name)?". Then we will start to believe that if we can mimic her "good" behavior (sucking up tom and pleasing our dad), that we will get that same praise and rewards that she gets. It works in our favor, but only very short term. He then yells at us and treats us like **** a few days later and then we repeat the same cycle over and over again.<br />
My father doesn't only do that; he actually neglects me as well. Whenever I try to engage in any conversation, he walks away to his room while nodding and saying "mmmhmmm..." and acting like he's paying attention; he then proceeds to locking his door and watching TV. He is an egoistical ******* for the reason that I fully listen to his things that he wants me to say, but he can't spend a full minute in conversation with me about anything that concerns me(literally not even a minute)<br />
Two days I have put a stop to this; I figured that if I treated my father the way he treats me (minus the yelling), he might come to his senses and see that the usual pampering and pleasing him has stopped. He has come home today(being the second day in a row that this had worked) and tried to speak with me about his newest business deals. I then proceeded to give him the silent treatment without making it obvious. In other words, when he said something, I would say things that he would usually say, like one word and yes no answers. He noticed it and it is hitting him hard. At 18 years into my life, I have found something powerful enough to make him realize the impact of his neglect and lack of presence in my childhood. I recommend this to anybody but remember to use this as a sample because everyone has a different family life. Simply use his natural offensive behaviors against him.<br />
P.S. If this won't stop his bullshit let downs, then it is going to be the peak of his downfall because when he gets old, I have the choice to send him to a retirement home or to just disown him. (and it sounds cruel but If you could only see how damaging the effects of his neglect has had on my oldest sisters emotional and physical health)

i wish my dad cared enough to just think about a tracker...but you're right , i have to thank my dad for making me who i am today

hey my dad is like that too

I.feel.the same way....my dad is always like that..full of pride. He never admits his mistakes...he gets angry easily and he alwyas hurts my mom verbally.....and to add up, hes a christian.....im starting to believe that he isnt one and is the worst person i have evr met....<br />
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I promised myself that i would never be like him no matter what happens....<br />
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While im typing this,i can hear him shouting at my mom in the room next to mine


yeah ur lucky ur dads only bitchin right now my dads bitchin every second, he jus got done with my little brother he's 9 and im 12 im always on my phone or computer my lil brother is always gets a hard time with my dad and my lil sister shes 7 jus turned 7 december 15th and she never has a hard time like me and my brother do i wish her luck when she gets are age. one time me my brother and my dad were all outside my dad was practicing how to shoot a bonarow when he goes hunting for deer. . .anyway we were having a fun time me and my brother were wrestling around and out of no where my dad says get in the house im in a bad mood we go in the house and my mom says "go back outside and play dont listen to him" so we go back outside and were playing around and then my dad comes charging at us were both running to the house then my dad grabs 2 soda cans and they were filled my throws one at me it him on my waste it hurt badly, i get to the house before my brother i was so scared i locked the door forgetting my brother was right behind me, my dad gets my brother and throw him on the portch and starts punching him on the ground, i ran so fast into my moms bathroom i lock the door and my mom tells me to open up i open the door and she sees that im crying she gives me a hug and says wheres your brother and i said i locked the door on him cuz i was so scared my dad was banging on the door saying open up my mom opens the door and says what is going on? and she says why is my son on the ground my dad is silent for a second and says well the kids were not listning when i said go inside and my mom says cuz i told them to go back outside,my dad says im going to live with my parents my mom says good live so my dad lives and everything is going good until he comes back a week later says he is sorry but 2 days later he is acting up again oh and he abuses my dog he hit him with a broom the hard part and he kicks him in the stomach i say knock it off then i bring him in my room so he's safe. but he can be nice at times but not most of the time its sad from this day he still lives with us things are getting better! i hope for all families to get better and figure something out for you guys bye you can meet me on facebook my email is Alexisfaith@comcast.net if u just want to look me up my facebook name is (Lexiz Lovezyouu) seeya!!

to 1st commenter, wow, that sounds a lot like my dad, he's bitching right now

wow, thats sounds a lot like my dad

wow, thats sounds a lot like my dad

to 1st commenter, wow, that sounds a lot like my dad, he's bitching right now