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I Hate Him..

  During ym 17 years on earth my "father" has been a ruthless tryant to me. It all boiled down and collapsed the day he puit a tracker on my computer, Now he sees eerything i do,type(including all passwords) on my computer, in fact hes probably reading this..

  Granted the past 8 or so years i havent been the best son in the world to him, But he has never even come close to being a good dad to me..Somedays he will act all nice, and the next he will once agian b the ruthless coldharted, narrowminded, egotistical, tryant i grown up to.

   Never have i ever felt comforratble going to im about anything nor talking to him, then agtian how could i. Becasue when ever something happens, he yells at me, blames it on me, or whenever thears a conforntation, he qucikly runs to the defesne of the othr pearson. He assumes evertyhing is my fault.

 He thinks i am highly irresponsilbe jsut becase i dont clean my room. When i have never smoked,done drugs, or anything of that naturew, EVER!!!. I have lost many freinds becasue of stuff like that, i have never done anythihng that he would relly dissapove up, yet he thinks i do. Idk why i should keep being some good like then when he thinks im the totaly oppisite.

 He never lsitenas, hes been verbably abusing me my whole life, oppresing me of a social life( weteher he sees it or not) and i have ;learned i can never make him happy, nor talk to him aobut anything. He bleives my sister is so much better and that im evil. However, the only probelm is hes onlya totalt jerk to me, and every else loves him. He is the core reason for my emotianla issues.

  However, i can thank him for manking me who i am to day. I learned all of lifes lessons through myself and the hard way, never could i ask him for support or love, he never showed in of it. I also i am the pearson( even though he thinks otherwise) of morals an values becvasue i stive to be totally unlike him. I know there are ppl wose of in America and ppl worse off aorund the world. I also come from a realativly wealthy family but i would trade all the money and luxruies in the world for a loivng father who will support me and that i can go to i need,

ihatemyd ihatemyd 16-17 113 Responses Feb 9, 2008

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My dad is like that to me as well, this is the exact situation i am in

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Hey, me too! All of it! I have had daddy issues my whole life like this. I'm not sure how much it has to do with nationality but I'm Polish and discovered that tons of Polish youth have the same issues with their fathers! My mother was forced to be quiet and/or agree with my dad at all times. I wished for an emotionally available father my whole life. It will never happen. There should be groups for people like us so we can meet up and "have each other's backs!"

I hate my dad too, he thinks he is everything good ****. Its my first time driving and whenever I drive very slowly, he says, "Your mother could walk faster than this" even tho I was driving around our neighbour which clearly says don't go over 20km/h! Every time he makes me his ***** and doesn't appreciate what I can do and gives all support to my big brother who is 16 and can't drive for ****!! My driving is so smooth and yeah, sometimes I turn quickly but I'm only 15. He is 16 and still can't drive for **** and when I say jokingly, "you think I can drive better?" he said "Lol you think you even drive?" Worst part is I am not even allowed to spend my money accordingly how I want and when I ask something from him he says; "You call yourself a man, what kind of man can't make his decisions!". Seriously, I hate him, hope when I grow up I could teach him too look down for once. No denying, I would sacrifice my whole living conditions just to get a poor but a perfect father to support me when I need, I don't need stuff to make me happy, I need trust, companionship and support that is all I need in the world and I would give him everything after I grow up in return.

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i hat my father..he just makes me feel sad, leserable, broken and never feel good he just make me have the ugliest worst life nd make me wish death..i can stand going to hell but cant stand seeing his face nor hearing his voice cuz all i think about is all the sad memories he gave me all the broozes me and my lovely mom got from his beating in the past years ...MAY HE BURN IN HELL !!

I hate my dad, I think he is an emotionally weak lying back stabbing stupid Dickhead, when I think of him I want to vomit hard and fast.

I hate my dad too. I Always hated him, since I was little. Now I am a 24 years old male, a few months ago I changed my last name just cause I hate him so much. Also I hate my dad's Side of the family. So I feel better that I will never see him again

okay that tracking thing is way out of line. parents need to give kids space. oppressed kids will go INSANE with even a little bit of freedom compared to what they have now. im 18 but a girl and my brother is 14 and is given much more freedom and it just makes me want to leave my family. your father is probably VERY emotional and VERY unstable himself and thats probably why he does it himself..the weak pick on people to seem strong..

i hate my dad too

I am almost completely the opposite even though I hated my dad. My dad cheated on my mom, and didn't tell her about it until last year, when he said they had a daughter, and he will be moving back and forth to that daughter and our home. My mom wept a lot for the past year and even thought of suicide. I hated him even though he seems like a nice person but on the inside he's just selfish and greedy.even though he did provide a lot money to our home, he won't even repay me by buying a smartphone for me.our house never had laughter, instead was full of fights and tears. I hated my dad

My dad is the exact same.
Although i dont have a sister but a sportier, less bookish brother.

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.

Yea....I know how you feel. My dad tells me to clean something then he says I'm doing it wrong so then he does it himself and then complains that I do not do anything around the house. UNfortunately I have to live with him with my daughter because I have no other place to go right now since my divorce. I only work, take upthree college courses and run my daughter around week. He thinks everything is my fault and told my aunt when I graduated community college that " any idiot can graduate from that school". Now that he sees I make 26/hour, he asked me " how the hell did you get that job?"... I can't wait to move out again, long story on why I can't move out now with the money Im making. Oh and when i had my daughter 10 years ago, he threw me out of the house and told me to stay in the shelter. After I fell and hurt myself when I was pregnant, he took me back in the house but told me " I bet you'll get pregnant again within three years". I should've taken that bet because its been 10 years and I still don't have another baby even after being married for three years.

My dad isn't as bad but whenever i ask him anything or tell him something he doesn't get it i guess its because he doesn't know how to express his love or he wants us to be strong

<p>Dear Dad,</P><br />
<p>All the abuse that you have given me over the years has sunk in and congealed at the very center of my being, affecting everything I do and all of my relationships. After all these 30 years you haven't changed, even when I finally had the courage to tell you what was really going on. You pushed me to success? No. You pushed me into a life of wishing I could take the easier way out. You brough me back from suicidal drinking, and FORCED me to get better. You FORCED me into this life you call striving for success that is only a life deadlines I can't meet and a series of Doctors appointments trying to figure out why I'm so messed up. You call this life. You couldn't handle my suicide, so you brought me back so you can tell me how I'm wrong and what I need to do even more. How terribly selfish of you. You don't care that I'm miserable now, let alone try to do something about it. I still can't talk to you because you will tell me how i'm wrong. Dad, I see now that we will never get along and niether of us will change. I hate the fact that I see myself turning out like you sometime, you hypocrite. I hope you are happy. I might call you dad as a name. You were a decent provider, but a terrible father. I hope you are happy.</P>

Dude I totally agree

I was trying to see if other people went through what I go through when it comes to my dad and these stories describe my father almost perfectly.. he never supports me and he spends 80% of the time yelling and totally screaming at the top of his lungs.. im 16 and im really tired of his bs. I just want t either go live with my mom and never speak to my father again... but I know that I might regret that.. and the whole ordeal about living with my mom is very complicated we live in different hemispheres. Idk what to do at this point im just exhausted and turn all the anger that my father gives me into fuel for sports and when it comes to lifting... because of him I can be a very short fuzzed person and I've gotten into fights because of it. All I now and beg is that I am nothing, nothing like him when I grow up

I am tired of my dad drinking and starts to get angry at me and my mom even when I don't do anything and do good job

I am in quiet d=same situation, as I am going to get scowled for getting just above average, but not top marks in my school in 2 hours when he comes back from work, this is giving me strength. Good thing he doesn't have a tracker - i think he doesn't -

yea u r very father(aragent fellow) he scold me with a most deadly bad words because i am playing games in the computer he some times acts as a very good dad but he never talk happy to me. i some time get very angry i go into such a way to die what can i do please help me.he is the very bad dad in the world.we should not say him as dad ediotic fellow

Wow.... my dad and ur dad is almost alike....

i have a dad that same as yours is sad n painful

Your story is so similar to mine. I grew up with everything money, cars and clothes but the only thing I didn't have was love. I hated my family especially my dad who would argue with me and he even beat me once. My mother I hate her just as much for letting him do it to me and then afterwards she made it clear she thought it was my fault. When somebody is abusive it is important to remember its not your fault.

you are very correct

Sounds just like my depressing child/teenage hood. My father is a great provider but that's all he is to me now and forever. He's always trying to change me to become the person he wants me to be. Anything I do is ever good enough. And quite frankly, I've given up. He always tries to make out as if he's the best dad ever and everything he does it out of love and for the best for me, but honestly if he did feel that way, I wouldn't feel so crap about myself and feel like a failure in life. He has beaten me up before for going out with a boy that he didn't like, after he told me not to. He's not my mother for ridiculous reasons, and hit both my sister and I for not getting the best grades or reports at school, or even understanding a math problem. He cannot control his anger, he takes everything too far. After he found out about the boy I was with earlier, he took my phone, and my laptop, and pretty much all of my freedom. I am 19 years old, almost 20, bare in mind. I did not get an offer to study medicine in the U.K, where I am from, so he said I could study it abroad in Bulgaria, which I am very happy about, as it would mean I will be miles away from the monster he is. I am currently on a gap year from hell, and everyday I just become more and more fed up with my whole situation. Since I have no freedom, I'm not allowed to go out to visit my friends or hang out with them like everyone else does. He set up a tracker or whatever stupid thing you call it on my laptop, and saw that I went on facebook. He hacked onto it and read my messages with a boy, and flipped out. He said he would be watching me when I move, and that he would no longer buy me an apartment and that I would have to share a room with a girl. He also said that he would have people over there watching me waiting for me to get caught going out to a club or having a drink or, god forbid, talking to a boy before I finish my degree. This control over my life is driving me crazy. All of us, my mother, sister and I live in fear of him, and I can only hope that my partner and kids never have to feel this way. And I certainly hope that my kids don't ever feel as if they want to leave home as soon as possible and ultimately come to hate me. I know he's just trying to show that he cares, but don't you think (I certainly do) that he is going about it all the wrong way?

The path that you chose to take, being the total opposite of what your father was to you; is totally the best thing that you could do. Human as we all are, we're bound to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Hopefully, you'll find that space in your heart to forgive and accept your dad despite the pain that he's given you.

It's so sad to read that we all have a father who isn't or hasn't been the father we all wished for. :(

I know how difficult this is. Believe me. Sometimes it's just a phase, but in my case it wasn't. Most of the negative things your father says to you, he's telling to himself really. You must be aware that you're not his target, that the problem is his, you're just experiencing a reflection of that, though it does hurt, I know.<br />
<br />
Love yourself and build your own confidence, though you must know it takes longer. He does not know what he's missing.

*sighs* I experience this too.I always envy my friends whose dad are so supportive of whatever they are doing and always encourage them doesn't scold them and talk nicely instead.I learn piano so i am always playing it in my house and i play them mostly when my dad happen to be around cos I am only free or at home at tht time.He will always ask me not to play,he say wht i am playing is not nice and i always play the same thing when he doesn't even care to listen to what i am playing i play pop songs and classical songs.Then he will say if u are a genius or have talent thn u should play piano or else it is just wasting money.Thn he say i no talent want to learn people play piano.Thn he will always buy chocos or tidbits for my younger bro and ask him to eat when i am not around or keep it in a hidden place,dun let me eat etc,he say i bigsize alr still want to eat when i am AVERAGE size only.well to people nowadays i may be fat bt to me i am average and healthy thn when i told him i want to be an actress he will say i so bigsize still want be actress thn once he asked me why was i home os early i told him school had 5km marathon so no school and he said i so bigsize how can i run.and he always scolds me for every small thing like i did not wash the plates or clean the hair on the floor in my room say next%2ptime ur friend come i will surely tell them or if my religious class people was arnd he would tell them tell his friends what kind of daughter i am and let them laugh at me,disgrace me.thn he will always scold me no commonsense and is the worlds' stupidest person stupider thn a pig thn yesterday he was on leave and my mum asked him to clean 4he house he scolded me say he on leave and i expect him to help clean my room he say he on leave is to relax not do this kind of thing and this kind of thing should be i do and he say he would slap me the next time he sees the floor dirty or my mum asks him to clean the house and say what is the use of bringing me up.And then everything he will scold me and blame me when it is sometimes only a coincidence that the computer experience problems and i was there doing something at tht time he will just scold me.Anything he would ask me to do and not my brother saying he is still young and when my brother tried to help he would ask him to let me do it myself when my brother is grade 6!Once he poured water on me to "wake me up".When he is always playing computer games from 6pm plus to night always lazing around

ok dont hate me because i believe in God but if u dont know who he is read about Him i have that type of father 2 i hate him so much i want 2 cry :[ but heres a verse JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. ROMANS 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this;while we were still sinners Christ died for us. GOD BLESS

Wow, I can't believe there are so many people like me. People who has a messed up dad like me.<br />
<br />
Well, my "dad" is the most selfish,callused,shallow,hypocritical, messed up human being. As far back as I can remember, he always had a need to put down people and belittle people while overlooking his flaws. He thinks he's perfect, that he can do no wrong. <br />
He also goes out every night to get drunk and cheat on my mom since I can remember. He also used to beat my mom as well.<br />
He was never physically abusive, but he was emotionally abusive with me. Always put me down, insulted me, never gave any advice, treated me like a prop, a houseplant. Anything I did was never good enough. When I joined the football team he never gave any advice, in fact he criticised me for even trying. I don't remember him congragulating me for getting into college. But he was the first to criticise me, still is.<br />
<br />
He is also very manipulative. Always using people, he has a very fake personality. He is a police officer and always uses his position to abuse people and rip people off. He steals things from people all the time, like car keys, and he enjoys it when they search for the stolen item and are confused when people can't find it.<br />
<br />
He is a control freak. Always has to know were you are going, but when you ask him about his wereabouts, he gets angry. He has his friends in our country hick police department follow family members constantly. He has a tracker in my computer so I hope he sees this so he knows I hate him.<br />
<br />
My dad is a hypocrite. He tries to make himself look like he's a good person, but he is the most cowardly,selfish,immoral person. I realised this two years ago and I realised that I'm a better person than he will ever be. I plan to change my surname as soon as I leave home.<br />
<br />
Thank you all for listening, thank you.

I've just finished reading most of these really heartbreaking stories and follow ups. It's sort of alarming to read story after story of basically the same scenario. My father did an awful lot of stuff that I thought was pretty horrible at the time. But the longer I lived and the more experiences I had with the real world the more I realized he wasn't so bad after all. I don't recall that he ever said that he loved me, or thought who I was or what I did was very important but somehow I made a life in spite. I assume most people who posted to this topic won't be celebrating very much in a couple of weeks on Father's Day. And that's sad. My father passed away several years ago but I still miss him and miss the lessons he taught me even though I didn't realize <br />
at the time what valuable lessons I was learning. Most of these stories are very old and I hope most of you have resolved your differences in whatever way is best for you. But give some serious thought before you cut off all ties to your father no matter how awful you think he is.