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Long Story

This is a rather long experience of mine, and I really appreciate it if you read this. Currently, I am a 16 year old student, and I must say that I am pretty much an average student. My father for some reason I don't know, cannot stand me. I remember very clearly that when I was 12, due to take a big exam at the end of the year, I expected my dad to show the support my mum gave me. Instead, he pulled me close to his face, glared at me and said, "If you don't do well, I am going to barbecue you and kill you and burn your papers to ashes." 

At that point of time, i was absolutely terrified. So, I started to work very hard and when I scored a B for my mid year examinations, I lingered in the school toilet and cried for a long time. Realizing that it was dark and I had to go home, I did. When my mum saw me, she knew straightaway that I had cried and demanded for the reason, and I told her. That night, my parents had a big fight and at the end of it all when my mum was crying as well, my dad came into my room and said. "This is all because of you. Why can't you be like your cousin? You're so useless. Why do I have such a useless daughter? You. All because of you. See? We fight all because of you." 

Another incident that still remains vivid in my mind, was the time when my mother was having a headache and went to bed early. I was watching television, absent-mindedly scratching at a mosquito bite on my leg. Suddenly, my dad violently grabbed my chin and turned me towards him. "You want to scratch?" he hissed, and used his fingers to roughly run them down my leg. The skin around the mosquito bite broke, and blood started to flow out. "Why did you scratch? Huh? See what happens when you scratch!" He growled once more. Then, he slapped me across the cheek. When I pressed my palm against it., my palm came of red and sticky. Crying, I ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror. My right cheek was scarlet red, and it was bleeding. My father then came into the bathroom and glared at me as I turned to wash off the blood. Without a word, he snorted and stalked out. This incident happened when I was about 11 years old.

Up till now when I make a really minor mistake, or even commit an accident, (such as not managing to prevent a book from falling to the ground), my father will start swearing at me and use the F word, and say that I am useless as a daughter. Right now, the thing that somewhat scares me is, my dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer but instead of taking care of himself, he continues to smoke and eat unhealthily. My mum is worried for him, and I on the other hand, do not feel a thing at all - rather, all I feel is hatred. Total hatred towards him. 

I believe most parents want their child to succeed in life, but I am not that sure if most will support their child in their dreams. My dad does not. My dream career is to be a zoologist. I love animals; I want to protect endangered animals and study them. My dad keeps telling me to study business, and threatens that if I do not, he would disown me. When I tried to argue my point, he simply said, "Animals are for hobbies. Not jobs. I know you like animals but to work with them...no."  I am still contemplating the decision to just follow my dream and migrate to another country to study zoology...or, stay and perhaps study something else. 

I take 9 subjects in my school, and my father thinks that if I study hard enough, I will ace everything. I am unable to do this, and at most, I score 4 distinctions with the rest being Bs. He is not pleased with this, and if ever I fail a subject, I would have to face his endless ranting about me being useless, not being a capable daughter, etcetra. Whenever he does so nowadays, I have to fight the urge to shout back at him, but I just bite my lips and fume in silence because I don't want my mother to be caught in this hatred between the both of us. 

I truly believe my father hates me and likewise, I grew to hate him as well, with the way he treated me - and my mother - all these years. When I grow up and have children, I will NEVER do this to them because I know that children need strong parental support in order to be healthy, hearty and happy. 
CherylT CherylT 16-17, F 11 Responses May 6, 2011

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This is ridiculous. Ignore your father and go on with your dream. If you try to give him a second chance, he'll hurt you more.

Omg, im sorry but your farther is pure evil!!! im actually crying! :( talk to your mam she sounds trusting. ~Lots Of Hugs~ Good luck! xxx

your dad is an freaken ******* *****!

Your dad is a bully an cannot cope with his own issues and shortcomings that he is taking it out on you. You can move out in two years and your life will change for the better. Remember you have done nothing wrong. Keep your confidence up and do what ever course you want and continue to be strong. Hugs

I hope my dad gets cancer. My stupid mom will not leave him. I would prefer living in a one bedroom apartment over seeing his sorry *** face every day (I avoid him and see him as little as possible around the house, anyways). My dad is much like yours, though yours sounds a bit more extreme. My dad is too sensitive to any sort of opinion I might raise against him, and gets very angry. He misunderstands everything I say and gets angry. He's an idiot. I can't wait to move out and never contact him again.

First of all, I'd like to say that getting a B is better than most people. You are not useless, and whenever he says otherwise, don't listen. He's a b*stard and doesn't deserve your tears. I want you to follow your dreams and be happy. You deserve it. I'm sad that I'm saying this about a person (I use the word loosely), but I'm happy he's got cancer, because then he can die and leave your family alone.<br />
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Don't listen to anything he says.<br />
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You are such a strong person to be putting up with his sh*t and I'm proud of you. Not many people can without doing something stupid. Trust me, I've done some pretty stupid things in the past because of my father.<br />
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Just focus on the fact that soon you'll be able to leave that pit of despair.<br />
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Be safe, be happy, be loved, and follow your dreams. It'll be worth it.

Dear..welcome to the Club..smart daughters cursed with "*******" so called Fathers..<br />
for starters..youre a gem..and I like the faith you have in you.I know for sure you'll rise n shine and come out tops.Go for zoology..get a doctorate..ull do very well..<br />
as for your dad..he is EVIL..like mine is..we left him..but the memories are anyways haunting..all i wanna say to you is..stand up for yourself..and some people are plain evil..its sad..but its true..ive seen it all..my biological so called dad dint care for me at all..abused me both phisically n verbally..never cared..even dared me once.."i wonder what youll do in your life..maybe ull become a prostitute" he said this to me..now Im a scholarship student in europe..respected by all..and i know i will do well in life..he is outtta my life for GOOD..i wish u can do the same..just cut him out of ur life..go away..stay someplace else..n if he oushes u to excel..just ask him if he was an A student..my dad was a loser in both school and college..but alwez prefered to bask in the glory of my trophies..which he nothing ever did to help me for!but yes..do Not get hurt..i think both u n your mum have to strong n united to see this..face him..and fight it out togther..Love to you...may you succeed..Amen!!!

Your father is abusive both mentally and physically. And you're right not to antagonize him by shouting back... although some bullies only act that way because they don't get yelled at right back... sometimes that's when they start respecting you is when you stand up to them... but that can be dangerous so be careful.<br />
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I think you need to get out of there if you can find someone to help you. Your father has real anger issues (pshyco) and child services should be telling him to stay away from you and your mother.<br />
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Working with animals is a perfectly wonderful career, and regardless of what he says, don't ever think you're useless, because you sound wonderful, smart and caring.<br />
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And you should mentally tell your father to "shove it" because this is your life, not his. His failures shouldn't be your burdens. So do follow your dreams, not his dictatorship of what your life should be.<br />
Besides, by putting so much stress/pressure on you. he's almost making certain you'll fail at his wishes and demands. <br />
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next time he threatens to hurt you if you have bad grades, talk to a teacher you trust or the principal/guidance counselor of your school! You should feel safe in your own home, and it's a crime in some Countries to threaten someone.<br />
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~hugs~ and good luck!

I am so sorry that you have to endure this. This isn't right. Continued on living your dreams. Your parents has live their life. Don't let anyone compare you to someone else. Everyone is different. It is best for you to seek counseling with this issue.<br />
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Stay strong

Sorry. He is clearly sick and twisted. He cannot die soon enough for my liking.

your father is a baterd