I Wish My Dad Would Leave.

My father has been a terrible part of my life for years. He's inappropriate to me and my brother, he yells at me for saying things that are completely innocent, nor could hurt anyone, and he tells me I over react when he hurts me, not as bad as some father's might, but it's still not right. Plus, he stresses my poor mother out and causes trouble within our family.

First off, with the inappropriate bit. My father likes to touch my brother's and my buttocks, I'm sixteen, he's fourteen. He says things like "Well, if you do {activity}, I get to spank you". He sometimes makes comments about the size of my chest. My mother has asked him to stop more than once, sometimes he'll stop for a little bit, but then it continues. I'm scared of telling anyone because I don't want to upset him. I don't exactly have evidence against him besides my brother and  mother, and I don't know if in a situation like that she'd be able to say anything against him.

Secondly, the least terrible thing, the yelling. I get yelled at for saying some things when trying to be helpful. For example, today, my mother asked my brother to take the dogs out, as it's his chore, chain them up, and bring them out water. She said he could leave them out until the evening so, they can play a bit and go to the bathroom. I said "That way, you will only have to take them out once tonight", and my father went off on me. He told me it was inappropriate to talk  at that time and that by doing that I was contradicting my mother and being a "little momma".

The third thing. He has gripped the back of my neck twice, not around my neck, just along the back and a slight bit of the sides and squeezed.  My grandmother has witnessed this. It caused a large fight between them, and my father told me he blamed me for it. The second time it happened, he did it in a shopping mall, I screamed "Don't hurt me", hoping maybe someone would get him to stop. He called me over dramatic and to shut up because my mentally ill cousin was rubbing off on me.

The last part is the problems he cause my mother. My father drives semi trucks for a living, he goes out to eat quite a bit while he's out. He'll often use quite a bit of money, and leave the budget for us tighter. When he comes home, he changes the routine we're used to. When he goes to the same state as his ex-fiancee, he stays at her house. My mother knows he does, because he's told her before, and I know it worries her. She's said it worries her before.

I just wish they'd get a divorce. Then my dad could move out and leave my mother to find someone better. She could do so much better, and I can tel she's suffering, even though she keeps quiet. My mother is a good person, and I hate that she has to be stuck with my dad.
Nerohart Nerohart
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 4, 2011

I have a similar situation, but everything is all verbal. If you want, you could report your dad. Verbal and emotional abuse is hard to get your dad in trouble with, but once your dad touches you and you don't feel comfortable with it, you can take this to court. Even if he tries to block you from leaving a situation, it still can be taken to court.
I have a younger brother and a mom and I love them to death. My dad doesn't treat them too well either. I've wanted to report my dad for a while, but I can't, since there is no law that can back up my situation. You on the other hand, have had some instances in which your dad has stepped over your physical boundaries. Take videos or keep a diary if you have to. Maybe you could use your grandmother as a witness. I haven't researched too much into it.
I really hope that you will be able to do something about your dad. I'm stuck in my situation. Good luck!

Wow. Tough situation. I hope there is someone you can talk to like a councilor or something. I can't imagine dads touching daughters.

" I don't want to upset him" Is that what you care for?!<br />
I'm sorry but if you kept silent every time he extends a hand on you, worse things,God forbids, might happen!<br />
at least, when he puts a hand,scream loud and push it away, so that he gets alerted that this action isn't welcomed by you!