He's Messed Me Up.

I am 18 years old and I've never really had a good relationship with my dad.
When I was younger, my mum and dad lived together. As a child, I didn't really see the problems that were going on around me, despite them being painfully obvious. My mum and my dad argued constantly, which for some reason he denies. My dad had quite a severe marijuana problem which led us (me and my two sisters) from being banned from our living room whilst he smoked his weed. Now being a weed smoker myself, I know that it is not an addictive substance unless you let it rule your life. That's what my dad did. He'd work then come home and spark a joint and completely ignore my sisters and I, while my mum had to sit through his nonsensical ramblings about rubbish that nobody cared about. She'd do this for us, so for a short period in time there would be no arguing between the two. After my dad finished his joint, we'd be forced to go to our rooms or have an early night so he could have some "peace and quiet" even though he hadn't even acknowledged our existence. This continued until my mum separated from him, for the first time. After this my dad harassed my mum and wouldn't leave her alone. He'd come to our new house and knock on the door or just stand outside until my mum spoke to him. After a while, my mum caved into his pressure and took him back. He moved in with us again but nothing really improved. The process just repeated itself. My mum put up with it for another 3 years until she got the courage to leave him again. She took us away to a different town so that he wouldn't be able to come and find us.
I started to share my time between my mum and my dad, because I really couldn't turn my back on him. During this time he just used me as an emotional out-let and to give my mum messages. Being only 13-14 at the time, I really shouldn't have been hearing the things that I did. It really messed with my head.
Now I have quite severe emotional issues, and even though my dad put me through all of this, I still continue to let him be in my life!
Thank God for my mum. She's my rock in all this. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I would be able to manage all the problems in my life, including my father. Even now my dad continues to harass my mum and put me down. I can't stand it anymore!
Burrdok Burrdok
1 Response Feb 5, 2012

There comes a time in your life when you have to put your foot down. Just tell him that you're not his personal messenger service and that if he has such a problem with how things ended, you're also not a licensed therapist, and tell him to get one of those. Tell him you can't fix his problem, and realize it, you don't have to fix their problems, they should've been trying to fix yours in childhood not the other way around.