Hating My Dad.

I recently lost my job i was on a year long work placement at an electrical engineering company and was fighting for an aprrenticeship i was given a car that i had to pay alot of money for petrol for and insurance, i was paying more to the company than they were too me. it past the year and they let me go i had to give the car back etc and ive 2 months left of my current course.

Back to the point when i was at school i was constantly put down by him saying i would never get anywhere etc etc, i was screamed at day in day out bout my work in school tbh i wasnt a great learner i was terrible at maths and never done well in it even with help. i left school and chose a few courses but was never allowed to do them because of what my dad wanted, he forced me to do army selections, electrical installation courses and now engineering, tbh my hearts never been in it the only reason he told me to stay was because i had the car to drive about in, because its not what i wanted and now i here i am with nothing.

i play rugby and go gym and i love sports with everything i really want to coach which im older. but i just never have been allowed to do what i want.
now ive started to realise this i feel thats the reasons my mum left when i was 10 that he was controlling etc, his hit me and my older sister before, and you can never express how you feel ever because of the consequences, my step mum ALWAYS takes his side.

Your not allowed your own opnion or to talk over him, his decison is final and if you go aganist it, he confronts you and makes you feel like nothing, like your not loved and like you are a complete and utter failure, when he drinks he gets abusive and tells you all your faults. i feel bad for feeling the way i do but im now 19 and just dont want to live this way anymore.

BenCarty BenCarty
18-21, M
1 Response May 6, 2012

It doesn`t mean your dad doesn`t love you. Like myself, he thinks he looking out for your well being. I am a dad as well. I had the same situation with him when I was young. I also have problems with my kids. I can`t seem to relate to them in a positive way, mainly the youngest. I am here looking for the same answers as you are. I do know that I love my kids though.