Sorry Its Long :/

The relationship I have with my father is complicated to say the least...

Sometimes we'll get on ok and he can be a nice enough guy but i just can't stand him anymore.

My parents split up around September and my Dad moved out in January. A month or so later my Mum got a new boyfriend and not long after that my Dad got a new girlfriend. It bugs that both of my parents can move on so quickly but i don't mind as much as I used to. My mother was perfectly within her rights, in fact she should have gotten rid of my Dad a long time ago. The reason for their divorce was that my dad was texting someone else. We never found out if it was anything more than that but the messages were pretty personal and he had done it before. It took time but my mum decided to stay with him just for my brother and I. Of course she never truly loved him nor could she trust him again so less than a year later she told him she didn't love him.

My relationship with my mum has been a rocky one. I used to figure-skate and she put an insane amount of pressure on me which led me to self-harm. Our relationship has never been that good until my dad moved out. We still fight but definitely not as bad or as often. I'm a lot closer to her and  I can open up to her now. I just love my mum.

Ever since I learned that my dad had cheated I can't look at him the same way. It sounds strange but I can't hug him and i don't like him touching me...I think it's because I don't know where he's been or maybe i just don't want to get close to him in case he lets me down like he let down my mum.

There is an obvious alliance between my mother and I and I think that annoys my dad. My father has a terrible temper. I remember when my parents were together he would pin her up against a wall or break things in front of her. He is horrible when he gets like that. He never usually lashes out at me but about a month ago we had a massive fight.

He drove me and my brother home from school and on the way we got into an argument. I had attitude but my behavior wasn't even that bad. So when we got home I went up to my room to get away from him because i really dislike getting into conflict. About ten minutes later he comes into my room and tries to carry on the argument. I argue back with him and then walk into my cupboard to get away from him. While in there he takes my laptop and leaves. I decide that i need to get out of the house and text my friend Kyle to see if he wants to hang out. I get changed and I think i was texting when my dad walked in again. He gathered that I was going out and to make my life even more of a misery he tells me I have to tidy my room before I can leave. He then locks the front door. I then run downstairs and unlock it (he left the key in the door) and get outside. He tells me to get back inside. About five minutes later I agree and have to tidy up my room even more. So i make my bed and shove some clothes into my wardrobe. Kyle is at the door by then and my dad comes upstairs to inspect my room. He tells me it isn't tidy enough and that i have to clean more. I run downstairs, unlock the door with my key and run off with Kyle. Kyle goes home soon after and I walk to my grans to keep away from my dad seen as i don't want anymore conflict. The night goes on and eventually he drives around and takes me home. On the way home we argue again (we're both stubborn so neither of us want to apologise) when I get home i return to my room to avoid more conflict. Once again he enters to continue our argument. I argue back and he demands my phone off of me. I refuse and soon he grabs my wrist and forcefully takes it off me. The argument is getting pretty intense now and he's calling me things like a selfish b**ch and pathetic etc. I once again go into my cupboard-crying-to escape the conflict. He opens the doors and drags me by the wrist out of the cupboard. His excuse for this was he couldn't trust me-in case i self-harmed even though i haven't done that it almost a year. He drags me to the door and drops me to the floor. He goes into the hall shouting at me and i stand up arguing back with him. I think i said something that hit a nerve. He comes back into my room and grabs my wrists, at this point my brother tried to intervene (it looked as if my father was going to hook me), shaking me and then he threw me across my room onto my bed. I am sobbing uncontrollably at this point, he tells me to get out of his house. I grab my shoes and run downstairs to escape him. He grabs me again and drags me into the living room. He doesn't let me leave till I apologise. After just being assaulted you can understand why i dont feel like im in the wrong. 

The next day my mum returns home after i've text her and told her what happened. She was on my side. She tells my dad off for acting that way and my dad begins to argue with her. She told him that i was half his size and his way of handling the situation was pathetic. Soon after he starts threatening to sell the house and force us into a council house.

He also fights and hits my brother a lot. He often says to us "I don't know why I bother" and "I'm leaving" "I'm never coming back" etc. He also now wants us to meet his new girlfriend who has a daughter After the way he has treated me I don't think I should. I wouldn't be surprised if she dumps him after seeing how terrible his temper is. Lately I argue with him a lot and sometimes I just wish that I didn't have to see him anymore.
01kholmes 01kholmes
May 8, 2012