I Hate You Dad

Ok bear with me guys, I have no idea how to use this website, I've only just joined. Ok so, in august 2008 my dad went on a "Holiday" alone to Texas, USA. Long story short it turns out he was talking to somebody on the internet and he went there to marry her in 2!! weeks. So he came back we lived as a normal family not knowing a thing then in December 2008 he left again for what he called a month.. almost 3 years later and he hasn't come back.

Well I guess that's it now right? He's not ever gonna come back I guess? I'm having such a hard time and I really miss him so much. He is an illegal immigrant in Texas so he can't tell me his address, he has no phone number and he emails every few months but I haven't heard from him since June. I usually talk to his wife on Facebook but they are getting divorced and she hasn't heard from him either.

So what do I do now? I really miss my dad, I just want to see him, have hugs with him, tell him how I feel, ask him why he left, what did I do so wrong? I have no friends and I have lost everybody. I would love to have somebody to talk to instead of bottling everything up inside me and just getting frustrated with myself. Leading me to have panic attacks. At 17 years old I just wanna have fun and have friends. 2 things of which I don't have and by the looks of it I will never have.

Since when did lonelyness feel so bad?....

macrowstuart macrowstuart
22-25
May 23, 2012