i wanna die. i just need to leave this place. i cant understand.. why isnt god killing me? what is his effing problem. its so surprising. how can he hate me so much? the stupid bastard of my father abused me so much today that i hit my head repeatedly against the door, and he was laughing. he and my mother were laughing. and the funny part.. is that nothing happened to me. how can my own dad derive so much happiness out of my pain? and why isn't god killing me? i hit my head so many times today.. so many times.. so why doesn't tht affect me? i cant stand this miserable excuse for a life. i am soo tired. i just want everything to be over. i have no one.. i cant breathe. i cant breathe.