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i wanna die. i just need to leave this place. i cant understand.. why isnt god killing me? what is his effing problem. its so surprising. how can he hate me so much? the stupid bastard of my father abused me so much today that i hit my head repeatedly against the door, and he was laughing. he and my mother were laughing. and the funny part.. is that nothing happened to me. how can my own dad derive so much happiness out of my pain? and why isn't god killing me? i hit my head so many times today.. so many times.. so why doesn't tht affect me? i cant stand this miserable excuse for a life. i am soo tired. i just want everything to be over. i have no one.. i cant breathe. i cant breathe.
liz7107 liz7107 22-25, F 10 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.

Hey there new friend. If you need to chat then feel free to talk to me.

thank u

Take it easy. You have so much in front of you. Relax and find things of curiosity top enjoy.

I just wanted you to know that when I initially prepared my response to your concern, I wasn't aware at the time that you were in the Middle East with your dad. As you know far better than I do, women in the Middle East are treated like third-class citizens and property. As such, taking back the control really doesn't apply here, obviously. Best of luck to you!

You need to take back the control that your dad has over your emotions, and try to turn it into something positive. It's entirely possible that HE was once abused himself when he was younger, and now the cycle is continuing, though I'm certainly not trying to make excuses for his behavior.

he wasn't abused. he had a great childhood. after graduating from high school he traveled with his friends. he started a business in the middle east and settled down with a wonderful woman. and even if ..god forbid.. if he was abused, he didn't have the right to do what he's doing to me right now. thank u for ur comment.

Looks like that life was hard on your father. What he had seen and done, what he had felt, his experiences have twisted his perception, his kindness. Or maybe he was just raised to not be a kind and wise person. <br />
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It really sucks that you can't get out. As for God, maybe he is also disturbed by all the cruelty. Maybe he wants this world to become a better place, and that wouldn't work if he just killed off all good people. Spare your head or you'll risk becoming like your father in future. I know it's unfair, but please endure and live, live to make this world better. May it work out allright for you.

thank u.

you are 18 and legally you can leave them why do they treat you the same way,why not find some other place or get away from them...

Get a hold of urself dear.may be its high time u learn tht it u n just u who'll look our for ur self. N u should try to make ur own self ur bestfriend. Hu cud u believe more than urself. Learn not to be so emotionally dependent on other.

thank u.

Your profile says your atleast 18.So you can leave from your parents house you dont have to stay there.

No baby you are cowardly for wanting to do so.God wants you here to push through whatever it is.Im praying for you.I hate for anyone to feel like even if I dont know them.

i cant leave.. :) i so wish i could. thanks alot for being so warm.

why not?

i stay in the middle-east. things are different here..