What Would You Do? I'm 17 By The Way.

I wouldn't exactly say I hate my dad, but I don't see him as a fatherly figure. I used to wish for a father-son relationship with him, but that just seems unreachable now. We never talk. Whenever we see each other in the hallway, we just pass by and ignore one another. Whenever he does talk to me, it's always criticism. He just can't forget my past screw-ups and he constantly brings them up, even though they're years old. I honestly can't remember the last time he complimented or praised me. He always says how everything I do is wrong or a failure so I should listen to him. Whenever I do follow what he says, but I don't do as well as he wanted (for example, the SAT) he then starts talking about how I purposefully did bad to rebel against him (wtf, and I got a 2090). I'm a senior in high school, so I've been applying to college. I used to have a lot of ambitions, but he always talks about how I can't do this and this. For example, he doesn't want me to do anything with liberal arts and humanities (like business, music, history, drawing, etc.) Furthermore, he only wants me to study college in Massachusetts and Maryland since those places have high job opportunities, even though I want to study in New York or California. Even though I absolutely detest chemistry, he constantly tries to pressure me into studying pharmacy because of the high salary. I guess I appreciate his "advice", but I want to learn and discover things without his help. He's done way too much mental damage. There's no love or support.
SyncTempst SyncTempst
18-21, M
2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.

Pursue the things you desire. I surmise your father wants you to avoid the mistakes he made himself when he was your age or possibly just wants you to be "successful" regardless of your choice in the matter. I don't know what kind of man your father is, but that might be his way of "supporting" you. I hope this helps, and I would like to hear more of your story if you are willing to share.