My Life Related To A Narcissist

My dad has abused both me and my mom (his ex) but my little brother is his finest acheivment. when we were on good terms he would expect me to call him twice a day and email him throughout the day like my brother, he never would get that some weekends i would want to spend with my friends and not him, he has told me he has hated me, has called me crazy and brainwashed, and has never believed anything i say. one time my little bro was crying because he fell and immediatly my dad rushes in the room and start hitting me and my little bro doesnt even bother to tell my dad it wasnt my fault. he has never loved me unconditionally and to all the girls and boys out there who know how this feels tell me how are we supposed to think we deserve love when the people who should give it to us, dont.
When i tried to kill myself because of him, that wasnt enough to get through to him and when i lost 45 pounds in a few months from not eating it was because i hated myself because of him. but now i know... i cant kill, hurt, or hate myself because of him, he would be winning.. now i know to hate him. but its so bad i have fantasies about hurting him and i have no way to let this anger out.
angryandincontrol angryandincontrol
1 Response Dec 8, 2012

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.