Daily Reminders

My dad is such an *******. My parents divorced when i was 8 and i picked to live with him because it was close to my friends. Meanwhile my mom and siblings moved to another state so that destroyed my connection with then. Anyway dad is a drunk and a womanizer(for disgusting ogres). he spent his nights at work and his days at the local bar leaving me to fend for myself. Well then the big **** storm happened. This self righteous idiot moves in with us and completly controlled us from day. This wife of his says she has the best interest but is always carrying some dark agenda. This woman had four of my main teeth removed for braces then had the braces removed after couple months. This happened when i was 16 and i an now approaching 21 with the same smile as a reminder to why i hate these soulless creatures. I ve been meaning to talk to a lawyer about it but I'm flat broke. i know you're not supposed to have negativity in your heart but i just needed to vent. Thanks for reading. Peace. Namaste.
Irwin23 Irwin23
18-21
2 Responses Dec 10, 2012

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, it must have been horrible. I can relate to a lot of what you talked about, and I was wondering if we could connect over email and perhaps share some thoughts and experiences. I would really appreciate it, and I think venting about it could be good for both of us.

You have every right to hate your Dad and feel the anger.
You should not love him, that would only cause more anger.
You should not rationalize his abuse into being love, because he is your father.

Eventually, let go of the anger, because it hurts you more than him
and he is probably happy to see you angry at him and in pain

Let him go, value yourself
Your here for a reason
and the reason is not to get your father's love and acceptance and abuse.
There are many father's that should be called ***** donors and not Dad.

I forgive my father, who I hated rightfully so for many decades. I found out I got physical abuse and he sexually abused my sister while my mother enabled it.

I forgive them, by letting go letting go of me wishing they were somebody who they will never be,
I no longer have to argue with them, how they should be
They will always be this way, and it is letting go of the anger, and hope for what they will never be,
This is disappointing, sad, tragic, heart-breaking, but necessary in order to live your own life.
Forgive them, in letting go of your delusions and anger
but not freeing them of consequences of their behavior. One day, everything my parents did will come out in the open, all their abuse, not as revenge, because there is not hate, but as healing, as necessary healing.

I let go, I don't want abusive manipulative people like that in my life, I don't care if they call themselves Mom or Dad.
I've seen who they are and I don't want them anymore.
If I must deal with them, I pray for strength, guidance and limited time in their presence. I learn to set stronger, respectful boundaries of myself, not valuing abusive people and their hurtful games and manipulations over who I am.

Letting go, involves opening your hands and letting the bad drop out and facing uncertainity, trusting god and the universe, that your hands may not always be empty, but they may need to empty at the time