I Hate Hating

my dad is...well...i hate him.!!! he yells at me for nothing and blames me for everything if i try to defend my self it just gets worse. he makes me feel like im nothing and like im a bad person, like im worthless and just a bother to him....he shoves everything in my face and says that if i dont like his rules that i should "get the hell out" i really want to..but i dont know where to go...my mom on the other hand i love her..but it really hurts me to just see her stand there like nothings happening and not defend me..i told here that i hate him that i want to leave and she tells me that she doesnt like him either and to just 'ignore him"..well i can only ignore him for so long!!! i keep al this haterd bottled up untill i burst out crying..i hate crying cause hes not even worth my tears but i dont think i cry because what he says hurts my feelings..no not at all...i think i cry because all i can do is cry..i have to sit here and take it and not be able to anything about it but that!!! its hurts......
itsmemyselfandi itsmemyselfandi
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

I'm going to assume that everything you are saying is completely true and that none of the fault lies with you. I'm a older male and you are a younger female and that makes for a huge gulf in how we perceive things. I can put emotions to the side and look at things purely from a logical standpoint. That ain't so easy for you. Fact: your father is miserable and takes his misery out on people who can't defend themselves. He doesn't vent his anger on the person who owns the company he works for. Understanding this, use your sensitivity to your benefit. Feel sorry for him. You might even be able to get on his good side by empathizing with him - be the one who listens to him talk about how unfair things are at work or whatever his frustrations are. It might be a big heap of bullshit that he is saying, but he'll start thinking you're pretty cool. He feels misunderstood. Now, if you can't do that, at least do this: remember that it takes two to argue. Let him go on and on until he gets tired of it. And here is the big thing - it doesn't matter at all what people say. All that matters is what you think of, and feel about yourself. Right now is the time to get right with yourself. Do it now, or you'll find yourself repeating one of the roles that your parents are playing. Youths always think they're not going to turn out like their parents, but almost (and I said almost - you do have an opportunity!) always do. Finally, remember the Serenity Prayer. The thing you can change is you, mostly your attitude and outlook.

thanks for your comment!! i get what youre saying and i appreciate it!! i have tried a couple times to just take a breath and ask what it was that i did wrong to make him so angry and he just walkes away!! there is never an answer!! i think if he doesnt try why should I???one of the things that gets me most mad is he over exaggerates on things and he doesnt trust me at all just be cause "im young" and not because i ever gave him a reason no to trust me..because i havent!!! i understand hes a parent and he worries but its just so over exaggerated that it doesnt even make sense anymore!! its really stressfull on me and makes me feel like i did something wrong..im not saying im perfect because im not but i also know that i dont deserve to be treated this way!! im a pretty good kid i like to think i get good grades and i have never smoked or drinked!! i dont party or go out!!! and i just feel like im never good enough because im always at fault!!!and he really does exaggerate on his rules!!!for example if i need some extra help in school i cant stay after school to get help because he says "who knows what youre really going to be doing" i tell him he can come and watch me do work if he doesnt believe me or a teacher can call him but he says "nooo, youre not staying after because i said youre not" and then he gets mad when i get a low score on a test!!! i just can never win!! and things like this make me explode and dislike him!!