Don't Ask Me

He used to be loving and affectionate father. And it slowly became an angry, bitter, and short-tempered man. He couldn't handle his stress or his anger and had a way of venting thatnfrustration out to my siblings and I. He started telling me thing such as I was worthless, I was a *****, a ******, that he hated me, he wanted to choke me, and no one would love me. I remember times when he'd chase my brother around the house threatening to strangle him and my brother would lock himself in the bathroom until he finally calmed down. One night my brother came home and I had a feeling he was drunk. He came in and him and my father immedietly started arguing until something set him off. My dad punched my brother, got on top of him and started punching him and choking him until my mom came running in and dragged him off my brother. There was blood on the floor after that and my brother began spitting it up on the floor. I was only around 9 or 10 at that time, my brother 15 or 16. I became terrified of him and every timeI mentioned something to my mother, she'd brush it off as if it was nothing. And my father was making me feel like I was the most worthless piece of **** he could find. Eventually my brother moved out and everything calmed down a bit. My dad still yelled a lot and he often said things or smacked my sister around every now and then. As I got into highschool, I revealed this to my friends who told me it really wasn't normal. There were times when I came to school crying or sulking because of things he said or things he did. When I'd try to talk him, he'd make a joke out of it or tell me he didn't care. Junior year him and my mom told me they were splitting up and taking a break. And I was actually upset at first. In fact, I cried for almost 2 hours. But when he left, I found myself much happier. Even my friends noticed my change in mood. But he kept trying to reach out to mem telling me he loved me or that he missed me after years of saying that he hated me or that he thought I was worthless. Don't ask me why. It confuses the hell out of me. And I realized that I honestly hate my father. Whenever he's around, I feel frustrated and irritated, I try to ignore him, I don't talk to him at all, and I don't want anything to do with him.Every time I feel there might be a chance him and my mom might get back together, I want to cry. I hate him and I don't want him to be a part of my life anymore.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 11, 2013