daddy's lil girl?

in my adult life i've not met my bio father.  i don't recall much of him since the last time i saw him i was 2 yrs old.

my stepfather raised me from the time i was 4 yrs old.  consequently the same year my baby brother arrived.  and thus the descent began.

it would be a childhood of extreme verbal and mental abuse, control, broken promises of an alcoholic, favoritism, molestation, etc. etc. etc.

he's no different today.  i was never, no matter what i accomplished, able to gain his approval and doubt, regardless what i achieve, i ever will.

do i hate him?  no ... but i do my best not to speak to him.  it's like getting caught in a very sticky spider's web and you will most certainly be preyed upon - without a doubt!

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
1 Response May 24, 2007

I am sorry you had to go thru that... But instead of hate...Try Loving yourself so much 'till it hurts. You have to Love who you are from the inside out..not the other way around. All your parts...god, bad, precious, not so precious. Leave the hate for someone else. It just robs you of room to Love yourself.<br />
Did you not know that you are more precious than diamonds, stacks of money or all gold in the world??? And you have to feel that way about yourself, dear before you can get free of your hurtful, misued past. You were a child ...you are not resposible for the actions of some very XX!!!Arguh!!! adults. Try Loving yourself fully by doing something good for yourself once in the morning and before you go to be at night. And think one good thought a day about you until you build up to ten...keep them for 1-3 months and then build another Good You List. Lets get some real good going for you!!! Hugs & Love, LW