You Are Dead To Me

The first time I saw my dad hit my mum, was when I was 15, he was yelling and screaming abuse at her, then beat her to a pulp. My heart was racing and my whole body was shaking. The most vivid image I still have is again when I was 15 I heard my mum screaming for help, I saw him on top of her with his hand around her throat, shaking her and squeezing her like a rag doll yelling "I'm going to kill you, you ****". I had to push him off of her and fight him to the ground, for the past 7 years I have constantly had to stop him from hurting her, getting beaten my self and thrown around for getting in the way. He calls me nothing, says I'm a worthless piece of ****, constantly tells me to pack my bags and leave. When I did leave the first time, he cried and begged me to stay and I ignored him. I don;t have the best job and wasn't earning enough to live on my own, all I could afford was to get to work and pay my rent, I went for months without food before even considering going back. I constantly dream about killing this disgusting human being. He tries to call my mum a bully and say that she mentally tortures him, she does nothing of the sort. I know he's not mentally stable because he makes up all these disgusting stories in his head, which seem to make it okay for him to beat her. My mum isn't as strong as I am, which is why I want to be there for her, he hasn't touched me for a good few years now. The last time he tried he had his hands around my throat, I pushed him off of me and kicked him through a door. I know that every word I say to him hurts him, because he can do nothing but repeat himself. He tries to blame my poor mum for everything, he claims she's turned me and my brother against him, when he;s done that himself. What kind of father tells their son if he gets involved in his life or tries to call the police he will set his house on fire? I absolutely hate you and I can't wait for the day you die. You're a leech trying to cling onto every last bit of hope you have, you're dead to me, dead to all of us. You now refuse to hit my mum when I'm in the house or near by because you know I won't hesitate to stop you and hit you back. I'm your daughter for ****'s sake. You're supposed to protect me from anything bad, YOU are the bad in my life. But i'm not going to let a piece of scum like you ruin it. You will never run me into the ground.