How Can He Treat Us the Way He Does?

ever since i can remember my father has been an evil man.  he is a drunk and used to beat my mom when they were still married.  alcohol made things soo much worse, but even when he was sober he was evil.  i have never met a more mean-spirited man.  he is always right about everything...your opinion is not important or right.  he is also a racist, a thing i cannot and will not stand for.  because he is white (although he isn't totally "pure", a large part of his background consists of Native American heritage) he thinks he's better than everyone.  and I have dated black men and my current boyfriend is mexican.  of course I was called white trash and i'm no good and a disgrace of a daughter.  he's put his hands on me because of this too.  nothing is ever good enough for him. 

i understand that my dad didn't have a great life.  my grandmother had my dad at 18 and he was raised by his grandparents.  my father still hates my grandma to this day because of that.  she is still alive and in our lives.  i love my grandma with all of my heart and i know that she has done things that has hurt my father and my aunt (the 2 kids her parents raised) but my grandma is so special and has been there for all of us.  she is the epitome of unconditional love.  my father never really knew his father either and i know that bothers him too.  but how can you go what he's gone thru...not having his real parents there at least at the beginning of his life...and come and treat your kids like their nothing?

another reason i dont understand my father is because our family lost my older brother and my older sister.  they were from my father's first marriage and they both died tragically within 4 years of each other.  those were his 2 oldest children and now he's got 3 of us left.  WHEN YOU LOSE 2 KIDS HOW CAN YOU STILL TREAT THE OTHER KIDS YOU HAVE LIKE YOU DO?  he acts as if me and my sister aren't even alive.  my lil brother is almost 9 and he's the only one he acknowledges. 

i know i may be white trash to him and a disappointment but after you lose 2 kids does it really matter anymore?  i would love to have a relationship with my father but i cant.  not the way he is.  he is an evil person and it would take me hours to detail all the hateful things he has done and said to my mom and my sister and me.  i know some people don't understand because they have loving fathers but if you only knew.  i could spend the rest of my life in peace if i never saw him again.

snobunny826 snobunny826
22-25, F
4 Responses Jun 25, 2007

I'm so sorry you have a a**hole father like that. No one deserves that, and then to top it off he's an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic and that's what took her to her grave, and my father....is a piece of ****. But he doesn't say much of anything to me, so in that sense I'm lucky. I can't believe that there is a parent that cruel out there. <br />
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Then the racist stuff, I can relate a little with that, my mother was one of those people who was racist when she wanted to be, but then within two seconds flipped the sc<x>ript and acted like a totally different person. I hate that you're going through this though and the fact that he has the nerve to sit there and call you white trash because you're dating a person whose a different race, big ******* whoop. Racism I'll never understand in the first place (who does though lol) but then I would think he'd try to keep his thoughts to himself if you're happy. Which I'm guessing you are with your boyfriend. <br />
But I understand your frustration with your father, and flat out hatred. Your situation is much worse than mine, and I hate my dad too. To be totally honest I would have been better off had I never met the man. With your father, it's a really good idea to distance yourself some from him as much as you can. Because the alcohol will **** with you, and his just douche bag tendencies. You don't need that, and i think you already know that lol. But no matter what you do...don't let him being a miserable ******* make you unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness, and especially if you had someone so cruel and negative in your life all this time, you need to make sure you're happy and everything. <br />
It seems that you are venting, but just so ya know, if you ever want an extra friend on here, or someone to talk to, I'm all ears. <br />
I hope things get better for you. Because sadly you're dad has to change, and it's hard to tell if he ever will. I hope he does so you can have some relationship with him. I'm soo sorry you have to deal with that, and dealt with it while you were growing up. I wish I could give you a big hug, but since I can't *hugs* lol

its really not fair that everyone cant have a loving father or family. but we have to deal what was given to us and fight our way through every single second of the pain and get on with our life.

<3

Well don't hate him. It is his fault for getting addicted and sorry your older bro and older sis died, + Rip.