I Wish I Didn't Have to Hate My Dad

 My dad never loved my mom.  They were married for twenty three years and he never loved her.  Now she's finally getting divorced just as I'm looking at colleges.  It's kinda weird but in the last year my whole world has turned upside down.  Just like that.  My brother moved across the country; my dog even died.  All those happy childhood memories you think back on when you're bored at a soccer game or something, you know?  I've found out that all of them were a lie.  My dad lied to me, to my mom, to my brother, and to himself.  In the last year, my dad has (1) broken into my house (yes he came in through the living room window and the whole nine yards) (2) closed MY bank account and walked away with at least a hundred dollars of MY money that I will never see again (3) tried to steal all the money my mom has earned for my brother's college fund by claiming it was his all along (4) committed tax fraud on the account he's trying to steal (5) stalk me (6) make me physically afraid that he will go berserk and kill my whole family because he's the kind of person who would do that (7) unintentionally but clearly physically threaten me by following me around (8) lied to me and convinced me that my mom was the one who was the b*tch from hell and he was just the victim (9) trap me and my mom in our house by blocking our driveway while he pounded on our front door for an hour.  I'm a little bit freaked out.

I do want to say that its actually not that bad.  I'm so much more confident of myself because he walked out on his responsibility to me.  I'm one of those polite kids that never speaks up in order to avoid fights, and a few weeks ago, I yelled at a girl publicly because she was being ignorant about people like me who see therapists.  I have never been more sure of myself and it rocks.

I hope anyone out there going thru something like this that has been really hard for them can learn from me: never underestimate yourself.  Yeah, sometimes you have to skip a day of school to keep from going crazy, sometimes you fail a test because you're thinking about other things.  But the hurt passes, and the confidence and love you find in the depths of hurt never go away.

I will never speak to my father again.  In fact, my running comment is "What father?"  And I have a ton of trouble trusting men because of what he's done.  But I'll move on.  And I'm happy just being me.  So you know, whatever.  He;s the one that's gonna end up alone.  Not me.

If you are going thru something like this or u just wanna talk, you can comment and leave your email address and I'll definitely try and help you out.  I'm a natural-born therapist and I don't charge!  Just remember to always love yourself first, others can wait till you're not hurting so much yourself.

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2 Responses Feb 11, 2009

thank you, you've helped me more than you might think

wow, very nice how you handle the situation. Its lucky that you will never see him again.But its surprising how you handle this with much self esteem and be somewhat okay. Although he has hurt your trust of men, you should'nt be quick to judge. Although they're evil people in this world, there will always be some sort of friend(s) around to support and help you. And lastly, your story seems different from others, the difference of hatred and sympathy, woe and independence.