My Dad Ruins My Life

The first memories i have of my mother and father being together are not happy memories. i cannot think of one good time where i have not had to bite my tongue to avoid fights.  I remember at the age of 4 my mom being tormented and beat by my dad.  He broke everything we had and did nothing good to our family.  He cheated on her and sometimes didn't come home for 3 or 4 days. 

Now that i am 15 years old he still doesn't know how to treat a girl.  He has been married twice and cheated on the mother of my Lil brother with the wife he is with now. 

I was forced to live with him at the end of 6Th grade and hated every second of it. In the 7Th grade is when i really started to hate him for everything i remembered.  I rebelled and smoked pot and started cutting myself because of everything i went through while living with him. He sent me to therapy because he didn't think any of it had to do with him.  Every time i made him mad he would hit me and brake everything i had.  It wasn't just like a slap it was a hit and i was left with giant welts wherever that was.  Finally i realized i couldn't take it anymore and told my mom everything that was going on. She fought for me to come and live with her again but he said no and that was the end of it.  He thinks he has the power to control me.

He treats me like property and nothing like a daughter. I don't feel that unconditional love that every daughter needs to feel from her dad. I don't feel anything. There is no connection there whatsoever. I hate him with a passion and i want him to stay out of my life. 

Recently he has been threatening my boyfriend saying he is a piece of **** and if he keeps talking to me he will get a restraining order against him.  He tells me if i keep up with my attitude he is going to call my boyfriend and hunt him down and break his neck.  He has also said I'm a little ***** and i don't deserve anything. I don't deserve privacy when I'm with him and i have never gotten it.  i don't deserve to have anything hidden.... like a secret only i would know.  He talks to my friends and asks them what I'm doing at school and if i am doing what i am supposed to. Asks them if I'm in class and asks them what i talk about. He is just as psycho as i stalker would be and somehow finds out about everything.  

I remember when i was about 6 or 7 waking up in his bed and looking own to the floor next to me and seeing all my clothes right there. I was completely naked and i couldn't figure out why.  I was embarrassed and i have never said anything about this till just now.  i wish i knew what happened or why i was like that but i honestly don't know and for some reason i don't want to know.    

I am a serious golfer and i am on the varsity golf team at my school.  He just took my clubs away and now i cant play golf and haven't since Christmas.  he is the one that forced me to be on the team and then he takes my chances of a scholarship away. He is so irrational you cant fight with him.  He took my $200 phone and threw it against the wall. He did that because i didn't want to go to his house. after that night he didn't call me for a month. I went Christmas without a call from him and he took all my presents back.  I hate him with everything i have i have begged and pleaded my mother to take him out of my life because all he does is ruin it.

Once when him and my mom were fighting over the phone she said i wanted him out of my life and he threatened to kill her and to kill me of that ever happened.

When they got divorced at my age of 4 he didn't come see me sometimes for as long as a month.

I am now living with my mom and he causes conflict in this house somehow that can be avoided if he was gone.  He says hurtful things and takes all of my mistakes and throws them in my face.  he makes everything worse with his temper and he is very unstable.  I have a little brother that just turned 9 and he lives with my dad and i feel so sorry for him because he will have to deal with all of that now.

i don't know what to do about this and i really need help because he is taking the most important things away from me and doesn't know when he has gone too far. He says hurtful things that he can never take back and hurts me in every way he possibly can.

shianneisthebest shianneisthebest
13-15, F
Feb 19, 2009