I Hate Him...

I hate my dad. I do not love him deep down.

I'm 21 years old and I am no more independent then if I were 10.

I cry in my room.

I think of how blissful and end to it all would be. I think, "I'd rather be dead."

I wish I could leave, but I don't have the money.

I cry and I think how I don't want to be depressed again, I don't want to think these things, I don't want to have to keep myself from physically hurting... myself.

I want to be normal... but he calls me a faker and it hurts all the more... and I think again... I just want to die.

But I know that a few hours out of here will help.  But if I'm gone too long I'm screamed at. I'm locked out, I'm abandaned by the man who should love me most.

I swear, if I didn't have my boyfriend to look forward to I would have nothing at all. I wish he could save me. I really really do.

debrarose debrarose
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 15, 2009

Can you try talking to him to see if you can fix your relationship with him'?