I wouldn't say I hated my dad, but I dislike him and I begin to wonder if I should even call him my dad anymore.
As soon as my sister was born, I was forgotten by him. My whole life has gone by with him always siding with my sister, with him always going out his way for her and with him always shouting and losing his temper at me. Now, to clarify, I am actually a good daughter. Especially in comparison to my sister who is 18, and is quite the rebel. She swears at my parents all the time, whereas I have never even gone as far as to tell them to 'shut up'. Yet, my father cannot be nice to me at all. He loves my sister, but he does not love me.
He told me I was a failure, because I wanted to change my university degree choice from Maths to English. He calls me stupid all the time, and he always looks at me in disgust and shakes his head looking down on me. I have searched for reasons as to why he does not love me, but I can come up with none.
I seek his love so much, whenever he shouts at me I can't help but cry, and I am nearly 21 years old. When my mother shouts at me, it doesn't have the same effect. It is just my father, he sends me to tears all the time. I want him to love me, but he doesn't.
So why do I try?