My Dad Hates Me

Well, I literally am going through same thing you are. I'm first born, and I'm always first blamed. I would get in trouble for whatever my bro does! And Mt brother is a serious bully too, he calls me douche bag, and warhog, and a homo ( even though I'm straight), and he used to choke me until I ran out of air. One time, he slammed my ear against the wall and now its damaged. But he didn't get in trouble for that! But, if the dog took a **** on the floor, and I didn't see it, he would yell and scream at me, as if I'm the only one that wanted the damn dog. Yet, my father used to tell me that I'm ungrateful, and he hates ungrateful children, and they my little brother was his one and only friend. At that moment I hated him. He also tries to make me into his vision of perfect, and doesnt give a crap about my feelings. He doesnt accept me for who I am and tells me i stress him out so much and cause his blood pressure to raise, and he was going to die because of me.

I feel the same about my dad ..... i don't feel like he loves me either - i feel like he just pretends to like me and be normal to me - and then when i give him my trust he just uses it, and argues with me, and sometimes the arguments turn into fights..... and then afterwards he acts all normal again..... i don't feel any genuine love from him that a normal father should give a son .... he's schizophic - acts nice one mintue and the horrible the next - and i don't know how to be around him anymore because i feel like if i act happy and normal with him - hell just resort back to what he does best: arguin, fighting and in the end attaacking me.

MINE, TOO .

HATED AND ABUSED ME EMOTIONALLY AND VERBALLY ,HE WAS GOOD FOR SLAMING ME ACROSS THE FACE WITH AN OPEN HAND ..

FUNNY MY SISTER NEVER GOT BAD TREATMENT TILL I LEFT HOME .

THEN IT WAS HERE TURN IN THE LIME LIGHT ..



MY SISTER MARRIED A GUY THAT IS QUITE LIKE MY FATHER!!.



NOW SHE THINKS I DESERVED ALL THE BAD TREATMENT!.

Tonight I am thinking about life, ultimately my relationship with my father hasn’t improved and now I’m resorting to hate against my own father. I feel patronized, manipulated and controlled by emotional and mental abuse given by my father. He doesn’t understand me and who I’m; I cannot go up to him and say something loud and clear in a manner which is not shy full, quiet voiced, I felt that I have a mask on which I cannot take off whenever I’m in his presence. This has gone on since I was 12 years old and now I’m coming to 20 years old next week. For example by what he does is, he comes into my room and says “We have a job tomorrow” and then steps out of the room and I’m thinking why did he say that even though I didn’t even want to work with him and why does he not even think about my dreams and hopes like a good parent should, obviously he doesn’t think about my interests if he doesn’t even ask me, and it’s obvious that he comes up to my bedroom and says that, he automatically thinks I’ll just do it without question and walks away. I do understand he’s trying to turn me into something he wants me for his personal satisfaction and self reinsurance for my future but I really think this relationship isn’t going to work, I’m just going to hate my father for being a bad father but a good provider.



My brother Stephan is the eldest, and has an interest in old valve radios, computers, servers and other electronics and is also studied Nicola Telsa for awhile and has grown to be very smart and the most loved, I think he’s the most loved because he’s the first born and also the smartest and resembles my father nearly identically in appearance, I noticed some things like a conversation with my father, my father talks to him like they were just friends having a laugh, but when I talk to my father, he’s like a over powering figure talking to a retarded child even though I’m 19 and averagely smart. I don’t think my father has really ever said thank you or please to me ever and as a father hasn’t shown any appreciation as his son such as a simple hug, handshake or the ever hard “I Love you”. I’ve tried to reason or give my opinion to him, but he just shrugs it off like it’s a stupid idea or unreasonable banter. well that's my story of my relationship i hope you find happyness in the fact that your not alone