My Dad Hates Me

i have been abused by my father my whole life. i have endured phsical, emotional, and mental abuse from the man who was  supposed to protect me. i dont necessarily hate him, i hate what he does and who he is, but he's still my dad so that love comes natural. i used to get beat for making a "c" in math in elementary school. he would wake me up early on the weekends and make me clean the house all day til i was done-while my sister (who is 2 yrs younger than me) got to sleep and play. my dad gave me my first black eye & bloody nose when i was 9 for fighting with my lil sister and than made me clean the blood out of the carpet. i would get whipped with belts til i had welts for minor things. when i was around 16 the abuse got worse bc my dad got addicted to drugs. i had braces so he would hit me til i'd bleed from my mouth. one time i was taking a bath & my dad yelled at me to get out  & help him & my sister find something he had lost. i quickly threw a towel around me & looked all over my room with him right behind  me. i couldn't find what he was looking for & i told him i couldn't. he hit me & i fell back on my bed keeping my towel on & he hit me again & again blood was flying out of my mouth & nose on to the wall. i was screaming at him to stop and my sister had to pull him away from me. he used to take my fist & make me punch myself & would tauntingly say, "quit hitting yourself." when he would get real angry & yelling his face would turn red, his eyes would bulge out, he'd spit & get right in my face. it was scary. he would always tell me how much i disgust him & he couldnt stand me. he even told me once he'd kill me. my dad was bad on drugs. he eventually quit his job & started to cook meth. he'd make me my mom & sister travel around the state buying what he needed to "cook".  of course i was out of control as was my sister. over a period of one summer the cops were called to our house almost everyday-sometimes three  times a day for fighting or just getting into trouble. i left the house when i was 18 & moved in with my boyfriend & ended up pregnant. my dad ended up going to prison for 13 months. when he got out he was different but still mean and still abusive. he started talkig down to me my mom & sister. he would call us trash, disgusting, dumb, worthless, etc. he has completely destroyed my self image. he has screamed at me in front of my daughters & hit me a lot in front of them. when  he found out i was pregnant with my son he kicked in my door & hit me over & over til my shirt was bloody from my nose & mouth. he almost caused me to miscarry when i was 6 mos pregnant with my son by pushing me against the washer & hitting me repeatedly. he had to be pulled away by my mom. my dad told me 2  montshs aago he hates me for having kids. my dad has almost destroyed me mentally & emotionally. i stay away from him now & so do my kids.i'm getting ready to start counseling & i hope it helps. if you are being abused by your father or anyone in any way please get help. no one deserves to be abused no matter what. 

ava23 ava23
22-25, F
11 Responses Mar 31, 2010

My dad did and still does all this and more, but just by himself. He doesn't need drugs to help him

That thing about honor thy father and mother ? Well, in this case, it's a lie. Please call the police on him. It will help him and you.

Im really sorry for u ...i suppose my dad isnt any different from urs i've been struggling not to make any contact with him ..yet he's still pursuing me for troubles sis got divorced two days ago bc of his bu****it ...and now he's blaming mom for that ...but i've just figured out that long as im away from him ...i'll be alright ..that's why i live in the college dorm although our house is way better " if my dad wasnt there" 21 btw and im kinda afraid of the future ..hope one day ur dad gonna pay off ...actually he will sooner or later ...i just cant understand why would they bring us to this life when they are not even capable of taking responsibilities ..i hate it when dad says "i wish if u werent born" it really hurts im developing social anxiety and some other mental disorders as ive been told ...and i can only say that my dad's ruined my childhood and still on it till today ...hope no one is gonna have such fathers ...

I am so sorry for what u went through... I to am having much trouble with my father... Hé has not hit me too much but has smacked me reapededly and has called me names i don't even dare to i have not had it as bad as u... Good luck. ;-)

me 2 ,,he just hits me and shut in me ... really i think i 'll kill myself someday ,,because of him

Im so sorry to hear you had to endure so much abuse from him. I too was treated poorly by my father and blamed for everything. black eyes insults and just spiteful rage. You are too good for that I would suggest to leave him in the past and never look back.

Man your story sounds so similar to mine. I too endured an abusive relationship with my father.<br />
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I'm on the other side of healing, and a major first step is talking about it.<br />
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There is more for you out there, and the world is bigger than him. That's what I tell myself when the pain resurfaces.

Hi there my name is Ozod I am from Uzbekistan! what I have read is very sad and I think you did not deserve this kind of relationships. I am almost getting the same thing from my dad, he does not punches me till I bleed but he wastes me emotionally, after 2 days is my birthday and guess what he is not talking to me at all he hates because he hates my mum! when it comes to me I am not bad I earn money I am about to get 22 and I almost ask for nothing from him all I want is little support, My dear sister please don't pay attention to your dad he does not deserves you, i seems like you are very good and nice person please stay strong and never do this to your children, cuz people like us have been through this and we know how hard it is when your close person hates you! stay strong good luck sis!

I really hope that you can get the best out of counseling. I wasn't ever beated by my parents, however my mother is asian so they like to take these sticks and this hit you with them.. -___- but thats what i get for lying way to much too her. She didnt hit me all the times i lied to her, but the times i lied really badly. I hope that your son is healthy i wish THE BEST OF BEST for you. i hope that what you have gone through will teach men and women to not have kids if they want to beat them. Im really sorry, i wish your father could quit the drugs and go into rehab then counseling.. <br />
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I wish the best for you, and i know you dont know me but your story really touched me. thank you!<3

I am very sorry. It sounds like you have a painful life... No one deserves to go thru abuse... Its horrible.. to hear your story made me sad.. i wish i could help u, but cant <3 just say that i understand wat its like sometimes.. i hope your life will have a good turnout and that your dad gets in jail and stays so he cant hurt u...

So sorry ,why havs you been abused all your life ?who are these sick ,disgusted men doing out side rather being on gail till the die .<br />
pls stay away feom him cause one day it might nit be just abusive dad ,hou have your own kids to care for and love its all that matters baby ,i know you will love them and care for then very ,very much .<br />
god is with you ava always .<br />