I Just Hate Him.....

My dad isn't a drunk or anything but i hate him. He doesnt allow me to enjoy anything. According to him, pleasure, leisure and entertainment are for the weak. He doesn't allow me to have any kind of entertainment: no movies, no music, no games, no nothing. I dont have a gaming console and the ipod i have was given to me by my cousin. Yet he doesnt even allow me to listen to it when i'm free. He excepts me to study from morning till night, even in the holidays(really he does).  He knows that I'm not doing that. So he sneaks up to my room. I have seen it, he coming up the stairs like a bloody thief or something. He has caught me in a lot of awkward positions. I'm even writing this by keeping an eye on him(right now he is watching TV) He does a lot of things to catch me. It's almost as if he wants to catch me so that he can have the pleasure of torturing me mentally and physically.

The times he has caught me has been really horrible for me. He knows how to deal with people. He seldom uses physical violence, but he always attacks me mentally. I'm sure that I became such a wimp because of him. I dont feel confident at anything, and i lost self-respect a long time ago. 

He doesnt even mean well. He does this so that I can be 'better' than his collegues children. He has often scolded me profusely when his collegues children perform better than me. 

I dont feel comfortable when he is in the same room as I am. I'm mostly in my room, hiding from him. He doesnt understand me. I have pondered suicide many times, but I just cant do it. My mom understands me, and she is the reason I am normal (else I would have gone mad).  

He also does not have any regard for others. He thinks he knows everything. He also does not have any good manners. He farts loudly even when there are people around and then he just laughs and expects us to laugh at him. This is just one of the habits that I hate about him.

When he wants anything from me, he shouts at me. Then I feel I have to do it, else there will be bigger problem and I will be miserable for weeks. He even chooses my friends, and he eavesdrops  when I'm talking to them in the phone or in person. He thinks that I'm immature, a complete failure and is one of the worst people ever. At school, I'm made fun of the way I'm dressed and the way I talk to others. He makes me dress in a stupid way,a way which he feels is right. I just hate when he does that. All in all, I just hate him and everything to do with him.

ihatemydad01 ihatemydad01
18-21, M
2 Responses Apr 3, 2010

It sounds like he wants you to be what he couldn't be. Maybe he feels he has to toughen you up because he may have had some incident as a child where he was teased.... or maybe he thinks you have a ton of potential and he thinks he can bring it out of you. These are just assumptions :/ <br />
If his intentions were ill-willed I'm almost certain he would have beat the hell out of you like I was beaten as a child. He doesn't sound spiteful just severely strict and as far as his manners it sounds immature yet he calls you that?

Read my story, mate, I'm sure that it will help you...