I Don't Hate My Daughter In Law But She Sure Pushes Me To It.I find it hard to believe that there are so many woman complaining about their mother in laws, I know that some are bad and there are some that are terrible and out of control but the girls of this generation are very selfish and make the world all about them. My mother in law was no saint and every word that came out of her mouth wasn't nice, but she did it to everyone, not just me. I learned over the years to just keep my distance from my mother in law but I would have never, ever considered asking my husband to have nothing to do with her or the rest of the family. All families are dysfunctional, some are just worse then others and no matter what these young girls think their families are no different. In all the years I have been married I had a choice to deal with my mother in law and either go to see her or stay home, most times I let my husband go without me but he still went.
My daughter in law is a piece of work. I admit that I haven't always done or said the right thing but she knows how to bring out the worst in me and bring me down to her level. From the beginning I brought her into the family and treated her like my own daughter but I think because she never had a "real mother" (those were her words when I first met her, not mine) that she didn't know how to handle it and would just push me away. I wasn't used to this, my family has always been close. My children always shared everything with me, some things as a parent you don't really want to know but they told me because we were that close. I am still close with my other children and they and their family don't have a problem with me. Funny how my son has always known what I was like and that I tend to speak my mind when I shouldn't but I'm honest, maybe a fault but I won't apologize for it. We have always given the kids advise, same as my parents did and their parents before them did. All of a sudden with this girl, my advise is telling my son what to do. I would have to guess her parents never had any advise to give. I told her that I am sharing my "wisdom" as an adult who has lived in this world for a long time to help them in life, no one says you have to do as I advise, just listen. I never had a problem listening to my mother's, or my mother in laws words of wisdom, some of it helped me a lot. I find it strange that after all these years my son now no longer likes my personality, he had no problems with it before she came around. Also, I think if you don't want my advise then don't be asking for money, help moving, fixing cars etc. If you want my help then that opens the door for me to give my advise, its written in the fine print of the parenthood contract. You don't like it then go ask her parents for loans and help.
I have made the mistake in the past to send emails to my son and his now wife, mostly I did it because they would never come to my house to talk and when we did finally talk a few times about the problems my son acted like he couldn't care one way or another and his wife was all agreeable that she was hurt and she would cry with me and next thing I know a few days later she was up to no good again and she was making waves again. Amazing how they avoid having these conversations face to face. Its fine, I don't care because I really at this point don't want to talk to either of them. This girl can do and say what she wants to anyone that she can find to listen to her but she isn't the one that I miss. I miss my son and not the one that she turned him into, I miss the one that he used to be before her. It breaks my heart and I used to cry all the time and sometimes I still do when something reminds me of my son when he was a nice child/man but then I remember the person she turned him into. About a month ago I finally came to the realization that the boy I used to know is no longer around, he died when she got her hooks into him. I finally grieved for my lost son and I am learning to deal with my loss. This person he has turned into I don't like, I will never be able to believe anything he says and I can never truly trust him ever again. Its sad when a mother has lost her son but not to death but to an idiot that uses sex to make her man stupid.
This girl lives to make my life miserable and she tells anyone that will listen that I am at fault and I do all these terrible things to her and she takes things that I send in an email and changes words and uses them to her benefit just so that it makes me sound like an awful person. I have never felt that I need to defend my actions for things I've said and done to her and my son because I know what is true and what is her lies. I've considered getting therapy and having them come in too but I'm sure they wouldn't because a professional would figure out how lying and conveying the she-devil is, so I'm not going to waste my money on that. I am glad that she likes drama so much that she can't seem to stop telling the world how terrible of a mother in law I am, it goes to show that she can't stop thinking about me. I really wish she could meet a real monster-in-law, maybe then she would appreciate me but then again she doesn't appreciate anything or anyone because she thinks she deserves everything good.
I don't need them and their poor pity me stories in my life, I have other children and I have grandchildren I don't depend on my son to provide me with them. I would prefer that they never have children because I don't think her evil ways need to be passed on to another generation. But on the other hand I do want them to have children and then have their children get married and have daughter in laws that treat them like crap.
As I said I don't hate my daughter in law, she pushes me to but I don't. Actually I feel sorry for her that she can't feel enough love to share with more people in her life. She is so self-centered, selfish, the world revolves around me girl that she can't see outside her box and see what it's like to have a real family that could love her. I'm sure I will still have days when something makes me think about the son I had and I miss, and I will cry, but I refuse to give into her delusions any longer and will no longer feed into her drama. I have my family and I have my friends, I don't her in my life to make it complete. I would like to have my son but if it means she comes along with him then the answer is "no thanks, maybe another time".
I know that some of you have worse daughter in laws in your life and some of you are new to this kind of treatment from these girls and your sons but trust me when I say it does get better with time.
Here is a good quote to refer to:
“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy.” - Richard Bach