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Am I Right To Despise My Daughter's Boyfriend?

Hi everyone

I really need to let off some steam right now and this seems the correct place to be. I will tell you briefly just why I hate and despise my daughter's boyfriend so much.

     My beautiful, 18 year old daughter has been with this guy for almost 4 years, since they were 15 years old and at school together. He started to treat her badly after just a few months, constantly messanging other girls on facebook and telling my daughter that he loved another girl and wasn't sure if he should therefore be with my daughter. He then began to get controlling, it happened very slowly, next he apparently hated me and refused to visit her at my house, then he hated the dog, the kids in the street, the list goes on. I didn't fully realise it at the time but this was his first stab at distancing my daughter from her family.

     Fast forward 3 years and my daughter was pregnant with his child, I wasn't happy but that was partly due to my observations and feelings towards her boyfriend. By now he had been very verbally abusive towards me on the telephone and my daughter was withdrawn and upset more often than not. During the pregnancy he showed little enthusiasm about seeing my daughter unless it was involving any hospital appointments. He was very interested in the baby she was carrying. Anyway, 8 weeks ago she went into labour with my grandaughter 'Mollie' and his attitude was that he was tired and bored and wanted to go home and he quoted to my daughter 'I have to go home, I have a driving lesson in the morning!'

     I could almost forgive him that comment due to his age but he has made my daughters life a living hell every day since. She moved in with him when Mollie was 3 days old, he has constantly being accusing her of hiding money, demanding her id cards and visa card (plus pin number). He has told her that she can have nothing to do with the money situation including the child benefit. When the baby was 3 weeks old my daughter walked into the living room to find her boyfriend holding the baby upside down by her feet. He has demanded that she have nothing more to do with me and her nana. The latest is that he is going to a solictior  with his mum to demand that she express her breast milk so that he can take the baby where he wants for the day without my daughter. He is constantly verbally abusing my daughter, throwing her phone, ghd's across the room, using her credit and not allowing her access to her own phone, causing trouble with his mother and my daughter, dragging her out of bed and dragging the baby away from my daughters breast when she is feeding, accusing her of messing around online with other men and deleting the evidence. The most laughable thing about all of this is that he only really uses their house to sleep in, he leaves my daughter in on her own every day while he hangs with mates or visits his mum or nana, although he expects her to sit in all day on her own. He is also abusing her about the housework and refuses to help even though the only thing he does is college 3 days a week.

     Today I have been to my daughters house and he kicked off straight away, pushing and shoving me, demanding that 'I get out of his f...... house.' I stood up for myself and he then proceeded to lock myself and my mother in the house while he called his mother to come to the house. We had to get out of the window. Am I right to feel how I do about him? I would appreciate any feedback.

lilytheferret lilytheferret 36-40, F 9 Responses May 11, 2010

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I really don't know what to say! This needs to be takes further by contacting the Police on a a Non-emergency number as followed; 111(English number for Non-emergency's). Need more advice on Daughter's boyfriend? Join my circle.
Thank you.

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If you can, get your daughter and Mollie out of there. If I could do it with my daughter, I would in a heartbeat. Report him ASAP! If I had any way of doing this with my daughter's jerk bf then I definitely would.

Pack up and move. Drag your daughter with you if necessary. She needs some kind of councelling and emotional support. This situation is only going to get worse.

He is abusing the child child services need to here this from you !

She needs to leave him ! when he shoves u again turn him in every time he does this he will have to take anger management class also i would report him to DHS the way he acts around baby there are to many infants being hurt or dying from dads like him and it will happen maybe by doing this your daughter might wake up they might offer her some class it sounds like he is making her feel low about her self she may be mad at you but in time she will be thinking you about it i would talk to some one at child protective services before some thing bad happens your daughter need to leave him! Im sure she is a bright and beautiful daughter i have been where she is at years ago my heart goes out to you and family !

I feel for you my daughter was in a relationship like that its hard to watch your daughter be in a relationship like that .What does his mom say about all this ?

Please report him right away and do anything you can to get Mollie and your daughter away from that animal!

Oh my god! That's horrible! It's not good to hate anyone but he is definitely a very despicable person. You need to help your daughter get out of the relationship, for both her and your granddaughter. Don't wait until he kills your grandbaby to do something about it! He's obviously dangerous and you need to be doing all you can to help your daughter remove herself from him.<br />
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And as soon as possible!