Try To Like My Daughter's Boyfriend But Can't Do It

Well, I guess it's as good a place to write my comments since i will not be hurting my daughter's feeling . My daughter is now 23 she has been with her boyfriend less then a year but is pregnant and is due in march. It is her second pregnancy (lost her first one last april with major bleeding and of course became pregnant 1 1/2 month later. AGAIN) The boyfriend (26 y.o.) who is a theater major was living with his dad then moved with her after that. She decided to move in the same state as us (actually with us) ans HE came with her, he had plans, trying to find a job...blah blah. But he only found a job as a waiter he tried to have a second job (10 hours extra a week) but could not do was too tiring
I could not stand his depression and mopping around (did i tell you he s a theater major??!!! the guy could not even pretend anything!!)
so they moved into their own place. But he does not have the energy to work a lot. so my husband took a 2nd job to show him that it's feasible, the boyfriend does not get it..
he complains and whines and wants to move back with his dad when the baby is born (all of them). Take my daughter away from her family so HE can live with his family
His family ( a brother who is in an asylum, a mother and sister who are manic-depressives but under medications) a niece (crazy brother's daughter) who he wants to adopt with my daughter because her mother is apparently crazy too...and he does not realize how scary that is for us.
He is a ginger, with tons of allergies and sick most of the time, has ADD. and he's proud of who he is..REALLY????????
Did not bring anything in our family...(yep...not even brownie points!) just a DUI that he forgot to mention when he saw us the first 5 times.
He also Loves stories about zombies and almost kinda believe in them. So weird...
he Will interrupt us (actually will kiss her or nuzzle her) when we have a conversation with my daughter because he needs her attention.
She has to take care of him and remind him to wash his hands after going to the bathroom (and he works as a server :( ) or sneeze into his elbow etc...make him lists.
so there it is the gross of it
I tried but he did not respond to some "positive" I was trying to give him.
I really want him out of our lives but he loves my daughter (the only girlfriend that stayed with him more then 2 months)
And my daughter wants it to work out for Baby's sake.
so i guess i'll have to get on this website and whine every time he gets on my nerves
Feeling a bit better now...thank you
pasdutout pasdutout
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

This so called "guy" you daughter is dating, sounds like a little kid to me. Wanting to move back with Daddy so he does not have any responsibilities in his life, except for mooching of daddy! Be very wary of this fellow, I do not know him and i dislike him already! Two jobs is easy as pie to do, i did when i first moved out so i could afford stuff. Now that i have a very well paying job i no longer needed a second job.
This Wranger (In Australia we use that term for red headed peeps - usually ugly too) should keep away from your family, it is however unfortunate that he made your daughter pregnant, although there are a lot of single mums out there that cope just fine, some even marry another person and avoid the father - full stop.
You say he has allergies, and lots of them? I might have to add that your grandchild will most likely get these allergies too, as it is hereditary. Also, this "nuzzling" or what you called it, seems to be like a front. To me it signs as he is trying to hard.

I hope all works out in the future, unfortunately you can not do a thing. It is your daughters life to write as she pleases, you must sit back, bottle up your feelings and hope for the best - whatever that outcome may be, remember this, you love your daughter, but no means does that mean you have to like her BF - just don't say anything that may push her away. Have you had a chat with her about the situation of her moving? Hopefully lady luck is on your side and she will leave him after seeing how he really is.

- Luca

Thank you Luca,
I am hoping that she will be strong and independent enough. She deserves better but does not seem to understand that. She has a good heart and I know she has a lot of pity for him but that's not love. and I can see that she is not passionate about him. He's there and he loves her and he's supportive about the baby. All that is easier then being alone, I understand that.
But I'm still hoping for more for her.
In the meantime I'll be a good grandmother. And will be there for my daughter if she needs me.
Thank you for the advice! It is nice to be able to unload...Happy winter!