My oh my, if only I could hang this young dumb-bunny by his eyelids..
I am told I should be upset with my daughter for putting up with his lying, cheating, scabby, shabby ways. But I can't blame her when I have been there, done that. (No, not the cheating, the turning the other cheek.)

I have diagnosed this young man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I also have diagnosed my other daughter's ex, my ex-husband (most recent) and my mother with the same. I don't think I am misdiagnosing. I think those of us in my family who DON'T have it are enablers, and we happen to pair well.

Anyway, this young, full-of-himself dude has his senior high school picture next to the word "pretentious." in the dictionary. And "egocentric." And all other entries with negative connotations.

He is a college student and is also in a band he started in high school. I have a lot of respect for some of the things he does and some of his political views. But his biggest problem is he takes everything about himself way too seriously. And nothing about my daughter with nearly the same enthusiasm.

In the summers, he and his band go on "tour," playing in basements and kitchens across America. He writes his own songs, which is commendable. But he is also noticeably delusional.

But none of that matters. What gets to me is how time and time again, girls have approached one of my daughters to disclose his infidelity. Or, recently was found with a Tinder Account (like Match.com for young people). Or perhaps we should talk about how he is all over social media, but after two years of seeing my daughter, and over one year of declaring their exclusive bf/gf status, he has yet to mention her on any of his accounts. He has not even been able to declare the "in a relationship" status for himself.

My daughter is about three years younger than he is, and she liked him in high school before he even knew her name. She had a very nice boyfriend when this guy started to show interest, and she ended up dumping Mr. Nice Guy, Non-Cheater, Polite Guy (the type mothers usually prefer) to take a chance on punk rocker dude.

Since the beginning (well over two years ago), my daughter has never really gotten past that infatuation mindset with him. The only thing they seem to have in common is that they both adore HIM. My daughter never seems to know anything about him, claiming they don't talk about that because it is non of her business. You know, stuff like what he plans to do after college, or why his brother moved out of state.

The sad thing is that many young men have shown interest in my daughter, but she is absolutely faithful. She lets potential nice guys fall by the wayside while ogling Mr. Bat Tattoo. Meanwhile, he is out sucking face with groupies on his US Toilet Tour.

To wrap this up for the moment, let me share with you the great Valentino's Day gift he gave her (about six weeks after Valentine's Day). It was a ticket for a concert. That may not sound bad. It was only $13, but I won't judge a college kid for lack of funds. What I do find hard to swallow is that he did not buy a ticket for himself because he had no intention of going. Yes, he bought her a ticket to see a D-List band in the city (we don't live in the city, so this means a beautiful young woman is taking trains, the EL, and walking, all alone in the big city. Thanks dude. Way to do romance.
lorarena lorarena
51-55, F
2 Responses Aug 15, 2014

I hate my daughter's boyfriend because I think he is manipulative, controlling and a user. I also think he has tampered with my daughter's phone so I can't get in touch with her.

Sounds like, she's completely in love with him. So you have to either sit and take it, or sit down and have a serious talk with you're daughter about him.