Not a Mom - But a Very Concerned Sister!

I know I technically do not belong in this group, but I figured some moms would give me some good advice about this since they are older and wiser :)

My whole family agrees, my sister's boyfriend is an a**hole.

We don't know what to do anymore.  We have all voiced our concerns about him but it is like talking to a brick wall.

He is not only an alcholic, but he mentally and PHYSICALLY abuses her.  he is 10 years older than her, (she is 24 and he is 34) and yet he acts like a 5 year old.  He called me 9 times last night, the first I answered and he said "Your sister is in big trouble with her boss, tell her to pick up her phone, or she might lose her job."  a) My sister was just at a photography conference with her boss b) why would he know that? c) it was almost 1 in the morning.  I was fortunately at home from college for spring break and told my mom about it and she told me not to bother my sister with it.  He apparently called my sister over 100 times that night alone.  She is his "go to" whenever he feels the need to drink, kill himself, or is drinking.  This would be ok, but he does it practically every night and she has work the next day. Plus when he is drunk he destroys her house that she lives in with three other girls and has peed in her bed too.

He also is always pressuring her to do sexual things with her and then gives her a guilt trip about it later because "he is a bad Christian" and "she is the devil" for tempting him.

I could go on about this guy, but the point is, she needs him out of her life.

Everyone in my family has told her this is a bad relationship.  She has hit me before and yelled at me once when I asked her to leave him.  Never before did my sister verbally abuse me and she has always been so timid in sweet.  He feeds her lies and in turn feeds us lies.  She is turning into him.

It has been over 2 years since they have been dating.  This can't go on any longer.  I feel the need to involve the authorities might be the only option soon.

Thank you all for your advice.

Marshmellowed Marshmellowed
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 11, 2009

i can see your concern i have been through the same thing myself it is trully the worst thing to watch when its your sister, the authorities cant do anything because of her age she needs to do it for herself! i feel for you totally wish i could do something to help but my advice can only be that hopefully she will realize. sorry to hear x

Hugs. It hurts so much when somebody that you love gets wrapped up and obsessed with somebody who is bad for them.

How old is your sister. It has been many years ago, but I was going through the same things with my sis. I called his family to drag his a** home one time he got so drunk. His sister said call the cops! I did. It happened again and again. <br />
The result? An awesome niece I adore!<br />
<br />
Conclusion: Nothing we can do. Just be there when it falls apart.