I Used To Hate Him Now I Just Feel...........sympathy For Him

me personally i dont really hate anyone i think i cant count on one hand who i hate. but i used to hate my ex . we were together for 7 years. he had to children that i was raising from when i was like 16. yes we lived together. no my parents were no around. father-work, mother- ? but anyway i cam say it now without guilt but he was an *** the abuse and the fighting got pretty old very fast. i still cant  shut my jaw right and i still flinch if someone makes a quick movement but ill get over that. now that he is gone its just sad really. you see he developed this habit while we were living in californina and he brought it back with him when we moved back home. and no matter how many needles i busteed or how of his stash i flushed , of entered him into rehab , it wouldt let go. it had sunk its claws in and thats was that. i feel guilty now for hating him because he left me here alone {his mother took the kids which im glad they love her and she was the best option} but i now relize he was weak and hating him would only bring me down, i know it was his own fault about the drugs but i now see some people are not equipped to deal with life and others are not , some people crack under the pressure and other flourish. and we were too opposites i flourished under pressure and he cracked which i think is what sent him running for the drugs. i still miss him sometimes because before the drugs he really was a good friend we loved the same games music and sports .                                                                                                                                                                    i am glad now that i could work things out with my new man and tame his temper lol and mine :) and i think i can ride out the rougher spots of life now because of all of that he put me through and i put me through . he kinda made me who i am lol i guess i should be grateful i am not weak willed and i take care of me and mine i wish him peace in the next life because he sure didnt have it here. peace to all.
isischick isischick
22-25, F
Jul 19, 2010