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I Hate Him, And Yet I Still Love Him.

He was my best friend, the greatest person I ever dated...I loved him so much...but he never loved me. We'd talk about me moving in with him...getting married, him visiting me. But now it just hurts me so much to know he lied to me, to know he lied about being in love with me..it hurts for him to call me beautiful...it hurts so much...I want to never see him again or think about him, but it's hard..I begged him, I did everything trying to get him to reconsider his feelings for me...I could barely breath from crying so much. Even right now I'm crying and shaking, wishing he was still with me...wishing he still loved me...I need him..but I can't ever have him..
Joyius Joyius 16-17 5 Responses Oct 3, 2010

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i m going through the same thing. he's convinced me i'm a bad person but he still plays mind games with me. holding on just enough to keep himself in the picture. i just wanna let go, but then he contacts me like nothing ever happened.

i m going through the same thing. he's convinced me i'm a bad person but he still plays mind games with me. holding on just enough to keep himself in the picture. i just wanna let go, but then he contacts me like nothing ever happened.

As amazing as that guy you love seems just think of how much more amazing things would be if he felt the same way....you know you deserve someone to love you...everyone does...if he is willing to let you go and hurt you like he did then why would you want him in your life. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY! it may seem like its the end of the world right now but as long as you wake up in the morning and just remind yourself that its a new day and all you have to do is get through it...and just take each day at a time youll start to realize youll be fine...and although the other person is gone just think in the moment...at this very moment your reading this message and your fine....your alive and thats a good thing :) obviously i dont know the details...but all i can say is remember how amazing it felt to be in love with him and now get excited for how amazing itll be when the other person is on the same page as you. Dont settle and wait around for him...he should be worshipping you..."The moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than you settled for..." either way your settling to be with someone who clearly is too dumb to see what they are missing out on...you want someone who WANTS TO BE WITH YOU and spend every second with you...the longer you hold on and get upset the more time your wasting :) get rid of everything HIM...block his number....hang out new places...and distract yourself....whats meant to be will happen! oh and noone deserves to be lied to...why lie when you can tell the truth? if your going to commit so much he should be willing to as well...

Maybe they are both narcissists. My ex was. He was selfish and self-centred, liked to take, rather than give and never loved me. I hate him and yet feel addicted to him; perhaps because there is no one else...and he known that which just gives him more to exploit. I can see it happening and yet feel powerless to stop it. Why do I do it to myself?

i am sorry to hear that. i am alot older then you and have had a simular exsperience. i was with my ex a3yrs after 3 yrs you exspect some commitment, we talked abaot marrage ,moving in together and that we were going to be together forever he told me he loved me all the time,,,,,,soul mates and then...........he dumped me out the blue and i found out he had met someone else and had cheated.i found out they have split up and she is now back with her ex ,ivherad hes miserable and lonely, i hate him but still love himat the same time too.we have both ended up on our own and miserable all threw his own acions ,