Abusive Ex Boyfriend

So I am only 20 years old and had been with my boyfriend since i was 15, up until last month that is. the first 2.5 years were pretty great but since than he has always put me down and made me hate myself. I lost all of my friends because he told me not to hang out with them or talk to them. I did not go back to away to college this year because he had to stay home and asked me to be home with him as well. I never realized it but everyone always told me it was considered abuse. Till last month when he physically hurt me for the 3rd time. My parents found out because my hand was broken and i had bruises on my face and neck. They called the cops and got him arrested and got a restraining order against him. For some reason I cant move on. I dont know how to get over him, which should be easy once someone hurts you the way he hurt me. We still talk even though it is not allowed by law. And for the first few weeks after it happen everything was okay and he was trying to fix things. Now he is back to verbally abusing me and putting me down. What is wrong with me? Why cant i just never talk to him again and be happy with out him? please someone help because everyone in my life right now just calls me stupid for even thinking about him. No one understand or knows how to help me=/
Gabby8192 Gabby8192
2 Responses Sep 18, 2012

I totally understand what you are going through because that is exactly what I am going through now,, I have also recently ended my abusive relationship with bf, he was emotionally and also physically abusive although he did not directly punch in my face. And I moved back to another country where my parents live just because I could not take his abuse anymore. And We also still talked via skype and email.

and just recently we got into big fights and I told him that he is a pathetic person because he lays his hands on women so he will spend the rest of his life in jail. And he got furious and deleted me from everything. Still I kind of wonder what he is doing and what is going on in his life. I guess this is not because I really miss the person who he is, it is because this toxic that he pumped into my head during our relationship. I think you are also going through the same process now. Right now you may feel that you want him back so bad and miss him so much, but trust me, over time gradually, you will forget about him, if you completely keep him out of your life. Whenever you feel tempted to go back to him, think about all horrible things he did to you. You fell in with someone that you created of him.

He is just a monster who hurt you and will hurt you non-stop even in the future, if you keep going back, and unfortunately this is the fact and reality. These types of guys are sick people, they will never be happy because there will be no girls who can fulfill their needs, no matter how hard they girls to please them, they will always have something to complain about and reasons to call their names, put them down...etc.

it may be very tough and difficult time for you, because you feel vulnerable, and feel like there is no one to turn to, I am also in the exactly same situation as you are in. My family also do not understand how I could possibly love such a monster.
Anyway, seeking professional help can be also helpful. This way, you can get over it, you can do it. Remember, it is his fault, not your fault. someday he will get punished real bad because of too much pain that he inflicted on many women.

Do not waste your time and energy on loser, your happiness is head of you,but he will never be happy, he will live in hell, as he does not even love or respect himself, if he does he cannot treat you like that. He is just sick,,,,

Trust me I know how you feel. I was mentally abused and when he left me I missed him so much. He still would call me and stop over to see me and I allowed it. Finally I stopped taliking and seeing him and now I finally see what he has done to me and I now know I dont need him.
Give it time and dont have any contact with him. Eventually you will see you are much better off without him. Trust me they dont change. They go right back to abusing. Take time for yourself. Good luck.