Wasted Four Years Of My Life With A Cheater

I hate you so much. I can't even put into words how much hate I have for you. I hate your mother. I hate your family. I hate everything about you. You are scum. Your are a coward. When things get serious you run. You will never find a girl like me. I hate you for cheating on me the first time and still leading me on. I hate you for meeting my family and pretending you were serious about me. I hate how you actually got all of us to believe that we were going to get married. I hate how you left me so abruptly the first time. I hate how I begged you take me back and you rejected my love. I hate how I found out you were cheating after you had left me. I hate how you blamed me for your infidelity. I did nothing but fight for our love. I fought with my family to accept you even though they warned me that you were not a good person. But you left then and you left me hanging now. I am disappointed in myself for taking you back the second time you came around. I regret ever bringing you back into my life. But love is blind and it made me do things that were disrespectful to myself. You wasted my time. How can you send another proposal and then again leave so abruptly. I hate myself for thinking you were a changed man. People like you never change and its sad that nothing bad ever happens to people like you. I cannot believe I took you back after cheating on me for the second time. I hate your pathetic friend Zain but most of all I hate you and your mom. Your mom is a sad, lonely woman. She is conniving and as soon as she had the chance to turn you against me she did. I know you will never find the love I gave you in anyone. I loved you unconditionally, even with all those times you had broken my heart. One day you will realize what I am worth and it will be too late. After me, all you date is trash. Honestly you are trash and your pathetic. I am glad you left me again. In fact, it doesn't even hurt. The only thing that hurts is how I begged you take me back for the second time. I lost my dignity and i don't know how to gain it back. But I am very glad I punched your face. You deserved that and much worse. The day you die would probably be the happiest day of my life. I am so much better than you in every department. I am better in school, at making money and definitely looks. You blamed me for not having sex with you, well the truth is I never had the desire to sleep with you. I am not attracted to you. You have a 50 yr old man's beer belly. You have foul breath and body odor. You have a small penis and you can't even last a minute in bed. Oh I am so glad we are over. I can't believe I put up with all that. I don't even want to waste my time seeking revenge. I just want you to suffer and never find love. Your not worthy of love. Like I said you are scum and will always be scum to me.

Even though karma does not get everyone. I truly believe it will catch up with you. I hope there comes a time when you are begging me to take you back and I have moved on. You are two-faced. One minute your saying you want to marry me and the next week you give me the crap that you don't want to worry about getting engaged or being in a relationship. You really are full of your self. And when I took you back, it boosted your ego. That if you can get me then you can get any other girl. The truth no other girl will want to waste their time with such a dull, mono toned personality. All you do is complain and whine . You don't want to try to fix the problem. You just want to whine about it.

I honestly don't even think I loved you. Its been less than a week since you left me and I feel relieved. I feel like I found myself again. I don't miss you I just have unconditional hate for you. That is only because you wasted my time and my family's time.

I want to leave this at... GO TO HELL RP!
An Ep User An EP User
9 Responses Jan 30, 2013

I can relate! Me and good for nothing ex guy broke up last January... That anger made me realize why some people engage in murder..anyway let it heal and never cost of someone worthless :)

I can relate! Me and good for nothing ex guy broke up last January... That anger made me realize why some people engage in murder..anyway let it heal and never cost of someone worthless :)

We're in the same page dear! Keep it up, the beautiful days are yours and beyond. Forget this man and live happily ;)

I'm a man. But i know how it feels to be cheated, rejected, and to be lonely. I gave it all but it didn't work. Anyways, we're almost 2 years but i'm still with her. It's almost the same as you. My situation. And it hurts.

Wow thank you SO MUCH For posting this! I hope you are in a better place now... he doesn't deserve to be in your thoughts anymore...let alone your life. Good luck my friend and don't let him over power your thoughts!

That is exactly how it feels.

Had a bad expierience with your EX...check out www.ratemyexs.com! And tell the world what your EX was really like in a relationship!

I feel it

Wow, your experience sounds so very similar to mine. The length of time mine cheated was the same, I think, in so far as the information I found out. I also took him back, but i was convinced it was emotional only, the many others were what were inappropriate relationships...but later I learned it was more. Mine did not reveal anything himself, so ultimately I only know what I obsessively had to find out for myself, mainly because we were together for 20 years in total, married 17. Tragic. He was a coward too. I'm sorry you're in pain because I know it well. It's hell. I hope one day to get out of this place of hate because I know it eats me up inside. Unfortunately, I can't leave him out of my life as we share a little one, so the pain is like a dull torture. Be well. I know you will find better man for yourself. If I've learned anything from this it's healing myself and the scars and trying to be whole on my own so I can recognize the mistakes and the warning signs and identify and nurture a healthier relationship. Living with years of deception can alter a normal state of being.

Thank you. Your words are inspiring. I just do not understand how easy it is for these cowards to walk in our lives. Are you still together with yours since you share a child?
It feels like my whole relationship was a lie. *sigh* hopefully one day I get out of this rut.

No, I'm currently separated. It's difficult since I have to see him often because of our toddler. But I am willing to make sure my child has the feeling of total security, and that means having her father in her life and not shuttling her from place to place. I plan on starting therapy as soon as I find an affordable plan. Friends are helpful, but family isn't near. That would help. It's important I am in a good place for the little one, and it's a challenge. Sure he is helpful, but the emotions are certainly raw, so we keep discussions about our shared responsibility. If it feels ok, sometimes regular friendly conversations take place, but he is pretty erratic, and has issues of his own he is dealing with so I tread carefully. For the most part, there is cooperation. My anger is there, but that's something I know I need to manage with eating properly (eventually), exercise (i will), and sleep (difficult with a little one), especially now that I work full time and take freelance work. Best bet is to set small goals for yourself. Like mine are to research and call therapists or group therapy, improve menu by pulling easy recipes for me and baby, schedule workouts. Something like that. Eventually, you'll notice you are focusing on you.

Also, I wanted to mention, when you start to focus on yourself, your confidence will improve, time will heal, men will be attracted, if you want to start again, or you may find enjoy being on your own for a bit. Take a trip? Plan some nights with girlfriends NOT talking about him. Or talk about him but don't let it consume or dominate you. But therapy is key I believe, because it's like expelling the bad stuff. It helps to intellectualize it all and detach. I tend to dwell, so I know it's hard to look back on the years you lost. Maybe you will discover something about yourself in this new journey you wouldn't have otherwise learned while you were with him. My relationship was my whole adult life, but I'm still relatively young. It would be destructive to look back on it all with vitriol. I built a lot in those years, and something good came out of it, as did the most precious little being in my life.