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He Broke My Heart and Left Me With Nothing But Questions

I never ever dreamed I'd feel such hatred towards him. Because just a few months ago we were so in love. The worst part about my story is that there was no dramatic event that lead to our breakup. I wish there was, it would've made it so much easier to focus on something bad when we broke up. But we were so happy, and had just moved in together a few months earlier. We shared our lives, went to sleep with each other every night and woke up with each other every morning. We would write little cards to tell each other we loved one another. We did normal stuff and cared, and enjoyed one another's company. We kissed and cooked and cuddled up and were there for each other through bad times. We laughed and knew the best and the worst of each other. And we argued sometimes. That was it really. But I would say we were happy 95% of the time and the 5% we argued was admittedly rubbish. But it was nothing that we couldn't have worked on, had he been inclined to bother.

I'm the kind of person who just gets it all off her chest and is done with it, and all is forgotten. But he was weird, really weird about arguing. He had only been in one serious relationship in 35 years before me, and in that they had never, ever argued. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly love arguing, but I accept that it is part and parcel of being in a serious relationship. And by definition arguments do not bring out the best in people. But he couldn't handle it. He hated it, and completely (he admitted it) blamed me absolutely for any argument we had. And this just rubbed me up the wrong way, because, while I can admit my faults, I do believe it takes 2 to tango. But nothing was ever his fault. Ever.

One night after a small spat he snarled out at me 'I blame you for this I can't take your mood swings anymore'. It really hurt that he would put everything down to me, like I am some unreasonable crazy person. I am not. It was so frustrating that he couldn't see that he had contributed at all to our disagreement. But the more I protested the more it would seem that I was arguing and he was right. And I was tired of him always blaming me for our arguments. Always my fault. Always a flaw in my character. Never him. So I told him so, and told him that I couldn't be with someone who chose to think the worst of me like that, instead of trying to work things out with me. I was mad and it was the first time I'd challenged our relationship in 2 years. And after 2 years of us being together, and loving each other, and living together and sharing our lives, he decided to take that and run with it. So I started packing some things up.

But then my head cleared and I thought - hang on, we love each other and have so many happy times, and so much good in us, I surely owe it to us to at least try to work this thing out. Every couple has problems but surely if you love somebody and they love you and you both respect each other then you have something solid to work with? But he didn't want to know. He absolutely refused to listen - I pleaded, cried, reasoned. I talked of all the happy memories we had and all the moments we shared. The night before this argument he had been kissing and cuddling me and telling me how much he loved me and how special I was! The very next day he couldn't see one reason to even try to save our relationship. And, true to form as the most stubborn person I have ever met, had made his mind up.

All I could think was 'why doesn't he even want to try?'. He dismantled our life together that had taken so long to build quicker than I could believe. I was out of the house the next day and had nowhere to live. He threw away all our memories. He literally removed every single trace of my existance from his life within a few weeks. I had loved this man for 2 years. And I'm not a fool - he had loved me too. He became so cold I could barely believe it was the same person. I couldn't believe that someone I had given my heart to, trusted everything to, could be so cowardly and not even try to fight for his relationship or someone he loved. What does love even mean to him? For me it means putting that person first, not giving up on someone that you love, and trying your best for the relationship. If it doesn't work and you have tried everything then at least you can walk away knowing that it wasn't meant to be. But he didn't want to try. Despite professing to love me... he was happy to have that, and give it up because he was too scared.

I have been shocked at how quickly someone that you know inside out, that you live with, that you share everything with, can become a stranger. Within a month we could no longer talk. Me, because I was too hurt, I'm not sure what his reasons were. The person I have spent the last 2 years with is now a stranger to me. I have to walk past him occasionally and act as if he is an anonymous bloke. That kills me. I think he started seeing someone a month or so after we broke up. Just another kick in the teeth.

I hate that he has hurt me so much, and I now have to doubt everything that I've thought for the last 2 years - and he does not. He has never had to doubt my feelings or commitment to us. He still has somewhere to live. His world has not been turned upside down. And I hate that he has made me so down on myself - I have so little confidence now, and I used to be so bubbly and happy. I cry a lot, and then I feel like a loser for crying, when it's so easy for him to just walk away. I just want to erase everything, I just want to never have to see him again. I want to stop hurting and believe that there is someone who will love me and accept me for who I am. But I'm not sure anymore. And I hate that he has made me that way.

joloholo joloholo 31-35 40 Responses Jul 19, 2009

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This is the story of mine its killing me softly. I wish i forget him right away. Its really hurt. But i believed everything has end.

I'm 14 and I know we might not know about love so much but honestly we had a very special bond and he broke up with me a month or so ago over text and it said he still loved me but was to busy, he told my friend he just didnt want to be with me anymore , he started dating someone right after and I'm like ugh why is it so easy for you but he always stares at me and i don't know what's going to happen next I don't know what I feel for him I just miss the idea of him , you learn a lot from a person in two years and we are starngers now he did blush when I hugged him because of a school thing and everyone says they feel like we'll get back but we don't even talk I really don't know what's going to happen next.. I understand how you feel

I'm a guy and I feel you on heart break I feel like what's the point of being different and faithful if everyone leaves me I been in 3 relationships and I loved truly loved one idk if one true love is even real but I don't yell when we argued I talk things out I never put myself first I'm respectful and nice and other things but my recent ex just left me like I was nothing no reason for leaving me I was nothing but go to her idk

Hey there, your story hits home for me. My partner and I spent 4 years together, we never had major arguments and did everything together... Low and behold after asking him if he was breaking up with me, he packed everything up within an hour, crying, a mess and walked out of my life. Afterwards, as I continued to reach out, he continued to treat me like ****, as if I was "bothering" him, that he just needed to figure himself out and move forward with his life. He hasn't once asked me "hey, how are YOU doing?" Or apologized sincerely for how things ended... It leaves us that are abandoned feeling as if we didn't do enough... When in reality, they react out of guilt, shame & have already found something else to "look forward to". I truely don't believe they ever stop loving you in an instant, but the more we feed them, the more we ask then to reconsider, it stokes their ego, makes them feel as if they're moving forward, while we stay behind heartbroken, yearning for them. It's a sick way of looking at things, especially when you said you "loved" unconditionally. It's hard, you try everything you can think of to make things work, and keep getting kicked in the teeth, portrayed as some insecure, needy person when in reality... YOU are worthy and they are not, they don't have compassion deep in their hearts for others, a person with compassion would be there for you through thick and thin, regardless if the relationship worked or not, they wouldn't leave you hanging... It in the end feeds their ego.

Thanks that has helped i been going through hell want to tallk
still too raw

I am going thru exactly the same thing. and i wondering.. what happened next.. please email me, i am heart broken, not because it ended but because he is a stranger too, he doesnt care... so im curious to know what happened

It seems like he was trying to find any excuse to leave you which is why you thought it was petty of him to accuse you over minor things. People usually do this out of guilt - I hope that helps :) everything happens for a reason and him leaving you has just made a path open up to a new adventure for you!

I feel for you and understand what you are going through . My boyfriend of 12 years just decided to end things and is dating someone else already , I feel lifeless most of the time and feel like I will never get over him it's been 2 months and I still cry a lot and feel weak every time I do , I don't think anyone understands what I'm feeling so I usually just keep everything bottle up and the worst part is that we have a child together so I can't just not talk to him , things would be much easier :(

This story totally feels like mine. I was shocked and amazed how quickly someone can remove you from their life after years. In my case, I become starter to her in the second she dumped me. After those words, we never talked to each other again. It felt like two strangers talking. I relocated myself to a new country for her. When I told her this you wouldn't believe her response: "now you can go home or you can decide what you want to do - doesn't matter". It has been 8 years since this happened but I still remember these words clearly. It took me just over 4 years to leave this thing behind me but I finally did. The fun part is that I have no hard feelings towards her. I said very hurtful things at the end when the new boyfriend "knocked on my door" (after ONE week our split) - I regret those words but I have no hard feelings towards her. I don't resent her for turning my life upside down. I practically lost the best years of my life after this breakup and I feel I should hate her for this but I don't.

I feel for you, I really do. I hope now, you feel better as well. I truly believe that if something doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Omg I would so love to talk to you. I just lost my fiancé and it was like reading my own story when I read yours.

:-( Please get over him! I know it sounds redundant and apathetic but really...who is the one on here SUFFERING and wondering endlessly! What is the point? These people below me are correct and I did not need to read the whole thing because basically, their advices makes sense for both me and you my friend! Good luck!

I can relate to your story. It was so like mine. I think the primarily problem lie with the bf. He seemed to be suffering from stuffs in his deepest internal that no one can understand. I GUESS WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE ON STEP BY STEP EACH DAY TO RECOVER.

Some men just aren't normal I just went through this, we loved each other and we were our first loves and a first for a lot of things but though he let his friends and his thoughts get into his head. **** him. Sometimes loving someone with all your heart just simply isn't enough. When the man decides its time to end it there's no point in trying to reason with the beast, I am sorry.

Maybe he was tired of you always picking arguments. You say you we're tired of him always blaming you but be honest with yourself, was it you? Did he ever start arguments for no reason? And with a man, don't ever threaten the relationship, they will call your bluff. That might work with boys but not with a man.

you not the only one~~i feel you...3

The reality is that your ex has no idea how to have a proper relationship. Arguments are normal, without them you will never grow and be strong as a couple. Arguments should not be about who is right or wrong, it should be about understanding each other's point of view and coming to some middle groud and comprise. No two people are the same so obviously you'll have disagreements and opposing views on things. If he truly loved you, he would try to work things out. He was fake! Just remember you deserve someone who loves you for who you are not someone who tries to change you and gets scared or insecure about a petty arguement and uses it jump out of the relationship. Be happy and confident with yourself because you were before he came into your life. Someone will come along and will treat you with more respect :)!

I'm right there with u and it sounds so much like me and my ex and I mean so much so if I didn't know better I would swear it was my relationship u were talking about!! Ur taking it better then me cause when he was sleeping with someone just weeks after we split I firmly believe he was getting over me for a lot longer then when we broke up! He seemed to just b waiting for something to happen and to pounce on it so he had his reason to end it!! I think that he was tryin to look for someone else for a lot longer then when we split and it's been 6 months and he stil denies he's dating anyone but he disappears Wednesday thru Sunday and then Sunday night when his girlfriend leaves he txts me isn't that nice of him!? I don't know what to say to make u feel better cause I think u got screwed over and nowhere to live??? And they wonder why women snap lol keep ur head hi girly and get angry what's the worst that's gonna happen? He's gonna break up with u? Lol nope he already did that lol so screw him and his new girlfriend lol sorry for bein so graphic but that's how I feel luv !!! Forget him and get 6 more just like him lol. Pamper urself and go get hair done and nails done and go tanning and get super hot and the best revenge is living well lol good luck girl xoxo Tonya

Found out my ex has Passive-Agressive personality disorder. What you said is exactly what I went through...to the dot.



He had many relationship which never lasted more than few months, longest being a year. I was his longest relationship, 4 yrs.

He gave me no reason for the breakup, atleast not one that made sense. He loves me, cares about me, but doesn't think it will work... what?

I am a person who can't live without finding the truth. I don't lie and I hate lies, simple. And so I went in search for the truth, it's not easy to know and sometimes harder to handle.

Truth is, he had been having sex with prostitutes and random chicks for many months. He knew I am a lover of truth, loyalty, etc and the deeper into darkness he fell the more tensed he got. He realised he was addicted to that lifestyle and knew I'll find out if he stayed with me. Stupid of him to think, just because he brokeup I won't search for the truth. 4 yrs of loving him, there's no way I'd just accept a fake reason. So much disrespect. I gave him unconditional love and affection. I feel as if I had been spat in the face.



One thing I know for a fact I am the one person who he fears in life. Somewhere I believe he tried his best to change but kept falling back. His friends we're bad company... and most of the time it does matter. What you are can be told by the company you keep.

More than anger I feel pity for him. He pretends to be happy, while everything he's doing is eating away at his humanity slowly. I hope he learns from his mistakes someday.

I still love him, just not the person he chose to become. He chose his actions. Now I'm making mine.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was going to post on the OP's thread that her guy probably had something going on on the side. My story sounds exactly the same. The guy I loved unconditionally, the one I was there for no matter what turned out to be a terrible liar. I believe he wanted to be better but instead, he chose to sleep with random women (you're right about judging people by the company they keep... I should've thought of that sooner).

Now he seems to hate me for busting him on his lies, though I have proof he's lying and he won't even talk to me. He's like a stranger.... And he still has all his stuff at our place.... But he swears he's only coming back to move out and I'll never hear from him again.

Thankfully it was only one year of my life, but I feel so used and sad and confused. It's like he lacks a conscience.... Now to focus on getting myself stronger, happier and believing that there is a wonderful guy out there for me... When I'm ready to date again.

Something similar happened to me. My ex dumped me few days before a trip we planned several months and he had new gf two weeks after moved in with him in the home wee built together. Now 6 months has passed and he is engaged and will be married in February of 2013 everything happened so fast that I feel like I've been stabbed multiple times in the heart because that was the future we planned together but I feel like I planned a future with him but I was never meant to be in it. It's hard I still cry here and there but I find the tears slowly lessening but the pain of a numb heart is there like you more good memories than bad makes it hard

I was with my ex for 4 years

Wow, there's people out there that are just like me. Who are going through the same thing as me or have gone through it. I have never felt such pain my life. I don't even try to cry, but tears just keep falling down my face. I can't even control that.

He and I were in a long distance relationship. And when I say long I mean different countries. He lived in Dubai and I lived in the states. We talked for an entire year, nothing but joy and happiness. and just eager to see each other. We spent two beautiful months together, sleeping, waking up, coffee, movies, malls it didn't matter we did everything together. I miss his kisses he would give to me all over my face, the silly things he would do when I was putting on my makeup and doing my hair. I miss it all. I tried to find a job out there and it was a bit difficult because I didn't have an education. He and i decided that I would go back home and finish my studies and come back in 2 years because thats how much i have left in school.

We talked about visiting each other sooner rather than waiting til the summer again to see each other, and me studying somewhere abroad. I mean we tried to think of everything. This man took me to meet his family, his closest friends. Not to mention he was a arab man.. i mean i didn't expect him to marry me. I've been back home for 3 weeks and 2 days ago everything was fine, we talked about how we missed each other, and laughing still and etc. and then just out of no where he tells me that he can't handle this long distance relationship. It really hurts. I have never felt such pain in my entire life. I want it to just go away.

I always told myself i don't need him with or without him I want to move to his country because i just completely fell in love with it. And now my plans don't change. but i never imagined that he would leave me.

for some reason i know there is so much more to the reason why he ended things with me and i do want to find out. I just want peace and to move on with my life and understand what the real reason was. Maybe its fixable, maybe he had a bad day and took it out on me, maybe something happened, maybe his family didn't allow this any more. I just want to know the real reason and move on even if its without him.

Sorry if there are so many errors in here and my grammar is horrible. but i am so hurt that i don't care i just wanted to get something off my chest.

Hey girl... Just be strong and move on... As Twisted Wixen said... He will regret or maybe not... In both cases you are standing with a clear and loving heart... Have that on your mind... You are the one with the pain now... But he is the one to live life in missery... In both cases... If he realise, he will regret... If he does not realise... Even worse... So... Take care and just know that pain will pass... Long nights will pass... You will be stronger without him... And he will understand that...

All my energy to you...

Take care and be BRAVE!

Gorlak

Hi girl,

First of all I am so sorry you had to go through this.. I don't think anyone should go through that. I hope that by now you feel better and that life has brought you new things to look forward to and that you have great things to look forward to ..

I went through the same exact thing that you did. I have never loved anyone like I did him, he was my shining star, my rock when I was weak, my motivation in life... Please let me know if you want to privately contact me!

Love

R.

Huh... I cannot believe what I just saw here... I was in a great love with my ex-girlfriend. 2,5 years of harmonious relationship and 6 months of our own life in our apartment. I loved her like heaven... More than myself... I was trying to show my love every day... Two months before she knocked me down we started to buy furniture... I let her to choose everything in order to fell max confortable in my flat. She was excited and happy to choose color for walls, sofa, TV shelf, carpets... Everything... I was enjoying our life... Then suddenly on one Thursday she changed her mood... We walked for one hour without a word... After we come back home she started to cry and said that she cannot stand this anymore... I was totally confused... In that moment we had new things all around our flat, plan to go to the other country to IKEA to buy some more things, tickets for concert and theatre next week. I could not make her stop crying... Then I looked at her and said... I will go now out to cool down a bit... Please relax and calm down... Whatever you decide... I will not be in the flat next 3 days, so do whatever you want. I cannot stop you... I went out for a couple of drinks... I come back to apartment one hour later... And there were nothing inside... In 45 minutes she packed ALL her things and left... No Good bye, No take care, No I'm sorry... Nothing... I was on the edge... I could not feel my legs... I sent her a text message... No answer... Later tomorrow she answered and gave me some extremely unacceptable reasons plus she said that she could not feel my love and respect. That was the heaviest disappointment in my life. I have my life principles and I cannot live without them. I have to love and I have to respect the one I love. After that day she answered my messages and calls a few more times and then CUT... Nothing... She just stopped to answer... She knows how deeply I love her... And she told me that I do not love her... More than 3 months passed and I'm still on my knees... Knocked down... I read some books and tried to reach some explanations for this... Psychology can explain this... Now I'm destroyed, but maybe this is a Gods hand that saved me... She did not want marriage, kids, only to travel, buy clothes, act as a important business woman... I gave everything... I showed how Simple man I am (as Lynard Skynard says)... I just wanted to spend my life with her, to make her felling nice and loved... In the end I end up with a broken heart, with a flat full of things that she chose... I met her a few times and she never takes off her sunglass and she could not look into my eyes... She told me that if I was not sending messages and called her, she would never do that... So... She will just disappear from my life after 3 years... What to say... Now I'm in the psychotherapy to overcome this, since I cannot sleep well, I cannot eat well, I have problems in my company, since I do not have concentration to work... And she is now traveling, enjoying life, living again with her parents, having warm meal, ironed clothes, warring about nothing... What to say... 4 months ago, I was sure that my girlfriend is the greatest girl in the universe... Full of love and understanding... There are a lot of details and words that hurt me heavily... I literally cannot recognize her now... What happened... Only God knows... I read that some people are great actors and can act for years and then BOOOOOOM... Just leave... I do not know what happened even now after 3 months...

I'm sorry to hear tht happened to you. You seem like a very nice guy. On July 18, 2012 my bf who I thought the world of. He dumped me via through our mutual friend. The pain and agony washes over me at times. Everything was so perfect or so I thought. We had only been together for two months but in those two months he really stole my heart. Previously before that I was with my finace for over 7 years and he unfortunately passed away three years ago. On July 18th,2009. Joe dumps me on that same very day. It just shows how shallow of a man he really was. He was in the middle of a divorce we met. That should have been more then enough of a warning sign to just stay away. All i wish is that he feels guilty for what he did. Always remember that you're worth the time of day to be loved and cherished.

Thanks Crystyles... I'm living my life in a simple way based on some principles, important to me. Love, honesty, respect, humanity and some more... My pain is therefore stronger, since the most important person in my life spited on them. I wanted to live for her and to love her all my life... To make her happy... It is painfyl through the day and night when somebody that you adore just turn her back and leave... And moreover, later to show lack of empathy... It is better now... But this will stay in my hearth forever... Take care and wish you all the best...

Has any of these men every regret their actions or called to apologize? Im going through the same situation and I cant even catch a breath. Im just wondering would he pay for this or ever regret he left me? He asked for this relationship, 4yrs later after moving in together and all, he cant even stand being around me. The nicer I am to him, the colder he got. Would he regret this?

I was with him for5years and 9months. I gave him everything I had in me. I gave him my whole heart, mind, body, spirit, soul. We created a "Bear World" together. We had our own language. Our own way of being. We adopted Bears from all over. We had a "Bear love". He even called it that. We had ourselves as well. We went on roadtrips. We made breakfast for each other in bed. We played Board games together. Sometimes we would stay in for days on end just being together. He even told me he didn't even have to go outside for anything. And that all he needed was me. I was his Bear. And that I was his everything. And that even wild horses couldn't even tear us apart. And three days ago he broke up with me over email. "I can't do it anymore it won't work.

Hi,

I also went through an extremely similar experience with my ex-boyfriend, and it has honestly made me feel so much better knowing others have also experienced it. I feel like it's so crazy how sometimes men find it just so easy to disconnect and completely eradicate you from their minds after they break up with you, it just doesn't seem fair. I really believe that if I were to have dumped him, I would have really taken the time to make sure he was happy and settled in his life, before I moved on and 'forgot' about him. I also believe that if you truly love someone, they will always remain in your heart...and this was the case for me, but not for my ex. It's been over 6 months since my ex dumped me, and I STILL think about him, and how much he hurt me. I often feel like I need to impress him, and make him see that I'm totally over him, happy and carefree in my life with my new boyfriend now...but I know I just feel that way because I'm so insecure, as I see how much he just doesn't care about me, and I always seem to be dwelling on how happy he must be...without me.

But then I've slowly started to come to the realisation, that he IS just another human being, and we once truly loved one another...and then one day, he decided to make the foolish desicion to take a different path in life to the one I was leading. And you know what...that's his problem. I really think that if he truly, honestly doesn't care about me AT ALL...I REFUSE to put myself through the one-sided process of caring about him at all. And at first, you think of this not caring as a huge shame, because of all of the wonderful memories you have of you together.....but eventually, you see the not caring, as a therapeutic step to getting on with your life. I refuse to care at all about what he thinks of me, or if he even thinks of me at all. Because at the end of the day, we all have so much to offer, we have endless amounts of love to give...and there is someone out there who is more than willing to recieve and appreciate that love, and give you just the same back. Even though at one point in my life, I thought my ex was the most amazing person I had ever met, the one person I'd truly love forever....I have realised that he has changed, and he is NOT by any means..that person anymore. The way he ended everything with me was childish and immature, and from an outsiders perspective looking at his life now...I am actually glad I have moved on, and I am at least trying to be happy, as I am.

I believe that in order to move, grow and mature in life...in order to truly appreciate the most important things you have, you must endure horrible pain and heart ache. You have to experience these set backs, you have to experience massive change, change that will pull you down, but build you right back up again as a happier and more fulfilled person.



Goodluck.

I am so familiar with this story it scares me. As I was reading, it felt like I had written it. I lived with my ex for almost three years, moved halfway across the province with him, the day before we broke up he was telling me how much he loves me and he doesn't want to throw away three years, then BOOM. "I don't think this is going to work" he says to me...literally out of nowhere. I totally feel your pain and frustration. I don't know how or why they do it, but at least I got to walk away knowing that I had given it MY all, so there are no regrets on my side. Let him deal with his regrets later when and if he chooses to face them, and if not...then he has my pity for being a very sad, selfish person.

I am so familiar with this story it scares me. As I was reading, it felt like I had written it. I lived with my ex for almost three years, moved halfway across the province with him, the day before we broke up he was telling me how much he loves me and he doesn't want to throw away three years, then BOOM. "I don't think this is going to work" he says to me...literally out of nowhere. I totally feel your pain and frustration. I don't know how or why they do it, but at least I got to walk away knowing that I had given it MY all, so there are no regrets on my side. Let him deal with his regrets later when and if he chooses to face them, and if not...then he has my pity for being a very sad, selfish person.

Just went through a similar situation a month ago - well being blindsided by someone I loved. After almost 2 years, He actively started trying to force me to change my career decisions and move somewhere I didn't feel absolutely comfortable with to support his dreams (Small town of 15000). Accused me of choosing my family over him. -- I was actually feeling guilty about things & considering it, AND I did allow myself to be forced into a specialty I wasn't completely sure about because of him.... I kick myself everyday for that.



Came back from out of town for the weekend, got a phone call from him essentially saying he hasn't loved me for the last few months but decided to continue playing "the game" ie calling me every day multiple times a day telling me he loves me so much (even the day before the break up call) & we pretty much lived together at my place.



And he broke up with me ... over the phone when he lives 10 minutes away. Did not even have the guts to face me. When i asked him why he didn't tell me he fell out of love with me when it happened b/c I would have spared him the trouble and let him go, he told me that he wanted to make sure that he was not losing out on HIS HAPPINESS if he made a premature decision about ending things, so he made me think everything was all happy and good so just in case he wanted to stay our relationship, it would still be "good" instead of going downhill if he actually told me the truth- I got to give him credit - he can really act ....



I started to cry and the last thing I heard come out of his mouth was - call me back when you are calmer ... I have not contacted him since, he has messaged me here and there to go out because he misses his "friend" but I really don't have time for this.

Hi Dancingagain,



It's nice to hear from you - your situation sounds very similar to mine. What you said about finding ways to blame yourself when there is no definite reason for the breakup is true. I spent months feeling down on myself, because my ex couldn't offer a clear reason for the breakup, except to pick at flaws in my character. So I started to think he was right. It can hold you back so much, and be so destructive. But you are right - it's just your mind trying to justify what has happened and what they have done. If you are used to thinking so highly of someone, it's quite a transition to realise that they aren't that great after all. They're flawed, like anybody else. And maybe...actually THEY are the problem!!



I'm so glad that you're moving on with your life and doing well. I'm getting there too! Just like yourself, my ex was also on Match.com within a month... what is with them?! It's a bit of a sting when you realise how quickly they can move on huh. Well, either way...I hope you meet someone who is a lot more worthy of your commitment!

Hello Dancingagain

I agree with you. I am always blaming myself why did i not say this or why i did not do that and why did i trust this guy. well the thing is we are human beings with feelings not dolls or toys. we put our soul and energy in a relationship and to be left alone in return is nothing but unbelievable. In your case at least you ex gave it a try for a few weeks. In my case my ex did not even bother to talk about it.

Hello Hateglyn. I am sorry to hear about your story.



Its very easy to place blame on yourself when you aren't given any REAL reasons for the breakup. The cliches we were given are flaky and carry no substance. From what most people have told me, it usually has nothing to do with you, though I go back and forth believing this. I think in our cases, the men just aren't capable of the hard work that relationships require. I think the way in which we were broken up with is cowardly.