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He Broke My Heart and Left Me With Nothing But Questions

I never ever dreamed I'd feel such hatred towards him. Because just a few months ago we were so in love. The worst part about my story is that there was no dramatic event that lead to our breakup. I wish there was, it would've made it so much easier to focus on something bad when we broke up. But we were so happy, and had just moved in together a few months earlier. We shared our lives, went to sleep with each other every night and woke up with each other every morning. We would write little cards to tell each other we loved one another. We did normal stuff and cared, and enjoyed one another's company. We kissed and cooked and cuddled up and were there for each other through bad times. We laughed and knew the best and the worst of each other. And we argued sometimes. That was it really. But I would say we were happy 95% of the time and the 5% we argued was admittedly rubbish. But it was nothing that we couldn't have worked on, had he been inclined to bother.

I'm the kind of person who just gets it all off her chest and is done with it, and all is forgotten. But he was weird, really weird about arguing. He had only been in one serious relationship in 35 years before me, and in that they had never, ever argued. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly love arguing, but I accept that it is part and parcel of being in a serious relationship. And by definition arguments do not bring out the best in people. But he couldn't handle it. He hated it, and completely (he admitted it) blamed me absolutely for any argument we had. And this just rubbed me up the wrong way, because, while I can admit my faults, I do believe it takes 2 to tango. But nothing was ever his fault. Ever.

One night after a small spat he snarled out at me 'I blame you for this I can't take your mood swings anymore'. It really hurt that he would put everything down to me, like I am some unreasonable crazy person. I am not. It was so frustrating that he couldn't see that he had contributed at all to our disagreement. But the more I protested the more it would seem that I was arguing and he was right. And I was tired of him always blaming me for our arguments. Always my fault. Always a flaw in my character. Never him. So I told him so, and told him that I couldn't be with someone who chose to think the worst of me like that, instead of trying to work things out with me. I was mad and it was the first time I'd challenged our relationship in 2 years. And after 2 years of us being together, and loving each other, and living together and sharing our lives, he decided to take that and run with it. So I started packing some things up.

But then my head cleared and I thought - hang on, we love each other and have so many happy times, and so much good in us, I surely owe it to us to at least try to work this thing out. Every couple has problems but surely if you love somebody and they love you and you both respect each other then you have something solid to work with? But he didn't want to know. He absolutely refused to listen - I pleaded, cried, reasoned. I talked of all the happy memories we had and all the moments we shared. The night before this argument he had been kissing and cuddling me and telling me how much he loved me and how special I was! The very next day he couldn't see one reason to even try to save our relationship. And, true to form as the most stubborn person I have ever met, had made his mind up.

All I could think was 'why doesn't he even want to try?'. He dismantled our life together that had taken so long to build quicker than I could believe. I was out of the house the next day and had nowhere to live. He threw away all our memories. He literally removed every single trace of my existance from his life within a few weeks. I had loved this man for 2 years. And I'm not a fool - he had loved me too. He became so cold I could barely believe it was the same person. I couldn't believe that someone I had given my heart to, trusted everything to, could be so cowardly and not even try to fight for his relationship or someone he loved. What does love even mean to him? For me it means putting that person first, not giving up on someone that you love, and trying your best for the relationship. If it doesn't work and you have tried everything then at least you can walk away knowing that it wasn't meant to be. But he didn't want to try. Despite professing to love me... he was happy to have that, and give it up because he was too scared.

I have been shocked at how quickly someone that you know inside out, that you live with, that you share everything with, can become a stranger. Within a month we could no longer talk. Me, because I was too hurt, I'm not sure what his reasons were. The person I have spent the last 2 years with is now a stranger to me. I have to walk past him occasionally and act as if he is an anonymous bloke. That kills me. I think he started seeing someone a month or so after we broke up. Just another kick in the teeth.

I hate that he has hurt me so much, and I now have to doubt everything that I've thought for the last 2 years - and he does not. He has never had to doubt my feelings or commitment to us. He still has somewhere to live. His world has not been turned upside down. And I hate that he has made me so down on myself - I have so little confidence now, and I used to be so bubbly and happy. I cry a lot, and then I feel like a loser for crying, when it's so easy for him to just walk away. I just want to erase everything, I just want to never have to see him again. I want to stop hurting and believe that there is someone who will love me and accept me for who I am. But I'm not sure anymore. And I hate that he has made me that way.

joloholo joloholo 31-35 53 Responses Jul 19, 2009

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I'm going through a similar stage, I'm only 17 and he is only 19 but we had been going out for four years we were soul mates nothing was wrong with our relationship apart from his parents never liked me for no reason that was the only thing we would have fights about. About two weeks ago he said he had enough and picked his stuff up I was shocked because he didn't gove me an explanation he just wanted to get rid of me, I have tried everything because an hour before all this he was saying how much he missed me and loved me, there was no clue that he wanted it to end. He is not talking to me he has blocked me and my family from his life, I don't know how to feel about this. We went to always talking and being with each other everyday to him erasing me!

I am going through a similar situation it seems like my ex fiancee abandoned me to. We were about to get married October 10th 2014 then all of a sudden on October 5th he calls me and tells me he can't do this anymore and he wants to break up with me. Not only did he cancel our engagement he cancelled our relationship too. I am currently pregnant with his child and I have never been more devastated than anything. I wanted to start a life with him he was the love of my life and he left me hanging. A pregnancy should be something celebrated between two partners not something to be ashamed of or to be stressed out about. I haven't gotten a good nights sleep since I found out he wanted to just be friends then I find out on his second life Facebook profile that he is dating someone on their and they were in white wedding attire. He was so committed to give his time to someone in a game but not ready to give his love to me. I was nothing but good to him. I supported him through all his struggles and he left me when I needed him most. Then all of a sudden today he writes a status about him trying to find his way down the right path. I talk with his mom sometime and she claims he isn't seeing anyone but a child will only tell their parents about something that is serious or what not so she told me to stop texting him how I felt because it would only push him away and she was like he knows how you feel no need to keep saying but he crushed my heart that is all I am saying. He made me feel so comfortable with him that I felt like he could never do me wrong. Now he is living the good life with slight regret. Will he come back to me. I don't know but I know I loved him with all my heart and he stabbed me in the back and in the heart.

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ime a man of not so many words and ime going through exactly the same as your poor self...your story is exactly the same as mine so i know how you are feeling keep your chin up and keep smiling...iain x

How did u cope. It's been 6 months since he broke up with me. I'm not sleeping properly I'm still crying everyday. We were together for 5 years lived together for 4, had a house together and I thought he was the one. I'm 26 and completely shattered. He wanted to be single yet I find out he's going out with a girl from his work. His parents keep in contact with me and we are still trying to sort out the house. Everytime I see him I burst into tears and he gets angry at me saying I need to move on. I still love him even though he's with someone else. I'm pathetic :(

I hope you're doing better now. A few more months have passed since you have written this comment. I pray that you have found light and smile on your face again. I am currently in the same situation, I just don't know what do I do next. Or how do I keep going. I hope we find strength from every breathe we take.

My ex boyfriend of 13 months just threw me out. We had been living together for 6 months. He told me about a month and a half ago he wanted me to be his wife and mother of his children. He left for a week on a business trip and did not call me once. When he got back, three days later, we were having breakfast when he told me it really hurt his feelings for not asking to see photos etc. I told him my feelings were hurt for not calling. We got into an argument about how his hobby and business is his life and I had no place in it. I took a shower to cool down because I was so upset. When I got out he had some of my belongings together and told me to get out. I thought he was the love of my life. My family thought he was the one and could see how much he loved me. He turned cold. I no longer knew this man. Now he's gone forever and I'm so heartbroken.

I'm so sorry hummingbird33 I'd love to know why he had the sudden change as the same as my guy. Nothing makes sense :(

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JOLOHLO i can relate to your story completly i will make this short because if i get into detail,it will be a lifetime movie. i too lived with my exbyfreind for a year it was all good until 8 months intoo our relatioonship, he didnt want me anymore so he plotted how t get rid oof me. to this day i remind him that he could have had a good woman to take care of him,he lost a gud thing,instead chose to be single and meet sleezy bar hoes. and he still ges home alone( so i think?) and is lonley. it kills me to pass his apt everyday and not be there for him. i still have feelings for him but i not going to chase himi hope one day he will seehat he has a gud woman waiting for him.

I have been moved by your statement so much I had to write. I too have been blindsided. After one year, not as together as you and yours, but when you give your heart, your soul, your mind and believe they are totally in sync with another being and then come to find out none of that was true...not the way we think it should be true. Honestly, I think it was true for my guy for about 2.5 months. By 3 months I could feel the chill. Of course made excuse after excuse because all he had to do for me was offer me crumbs. As long as i had the crumbs, I thought I had a trail to his heart. Nope. Never did. Never going to happen. For short periods of time, he was not able to see me (made excuses for him) not able to get a phone call in (made excuse for him) not able to text back for 8 ******* hours...yes, I made an excuse for him. I loved him so desperately that I was will in take him nothingness, take his crumbs, take his excuses, even when y gut was telling me NOOOOO!!!!! Something is not right. I didn't want to address the Something is not Right because I was afraid of his answer. but still, I took the something is not right and allowed him to continue to contact me and I answered promptly...but later in the day after all of his bullshit sweet text messages I would give him a call....maybe 1 in 15 times he would answer. Can't ignore that. Yes, people are busy, no one more than me...but I could not ignore him. i never wanted him to think I wasn't interested and from what he said in his text he was very interested. Problem is ...he never followed thru. I was always the one offering to meet him ( YEA, I thought that was ****** up, but I did want to see this guy so........) i did not listen to my intuition which told me....there must be someone else. I don't have proof of that now, but for a guy who is willing to chase youEVERYWHERE and then times goes on and he won't ask to see you ANYWHERE one has the enough information in front of her to make a decision. I was miserable. Constantly. My self esteem took one hit after another. He never could meet. ;Yes, he said he loved me...missed, etc. But would never take ANY time to see me. YA, totally ****** up, I know. BUT I love him....and I know that is ****** up. I have a ****** up bipolar father. the inconsistencies in the man of my dreams and what he does or what my father says and what my father does are identical. Ok, backlog theory done. What did not allow me to let go...what has lot allowed me to let go...even after I have stood in there mirror and looked my self in the eye to make a solemn vow " I will never talk wit this person again." In the moment I feel so right, vindicated, free. But later, I am weeping. Did I mention he is HOT!! Beyone HOT, he is so ******* gorgeous I can't even get to a real moment when I do see him. And I know looks are meaningless, but what I felt for this guy, with this guy was like nothing I felt before. I'm not even talking about the sex...actually the few times we were together I didn't even climax. I just loved being close to him. didn't matter what came out of it. If I was near him I was in heaven. Now i come to the long do we go on? I want to move on. I want to forget him. I want to exist as he is a part of a ****** up past. But his beautiful face is in my head for years now...(since 2009??) Does any one have any idea what the hell this means. Iknow by putting this out there I am allowing a lot of junk in my life to be examined. I'm not afraid of that. Im afraid of never know the truth about myself and making the SAME,
same. same mistakes over.dazed and confused

I understand what you're going through, I went through something similar. Me and my ex Dan we together for 2 years, we meet on a dating site. He said he has epilespy and he can't drive. I said that none of that bothered me. So we met and sparks flew, he said I was beautiful and he treated me like no man has ever treated me! We fel in love. We liked all the same things. We could be our selves around each other. He would always forget to take his pills so I got him a med case for his pills and set his alarm so he wouldn't forget and it worked, he started having less seizures! We had the best relationship both sexually and emotionally. We never argued, I know it may sound strange but we didn't. If I got upset Dan would make this face and I would just laugh every time. Finally I met his parents and they seemed to like me. His mom was really nice to me. I confided in her about having cancer and not being able to have kids. She was always nice to me. Well Dan started acting distant and I knew something was wrong. He finally told me "it's my mom!" She doesn't like you at all. I have to break up with you! I was so upset I didn't know what to think. So three weeks went by and he called me and said to come over so I did. He said he was sorry and that he wanted me back. He said he had to ask himself one question? Could he live without me? His answer was NO! So I said okay but you can't just break up with me because of your mom! See he's the middle child and the only one with epilespy and so his mother baby's him and does everything for him. So she told him to break up with me cause I was a fat pig and she called me scum. He said he would stand up for me. We got back together and he recorded the conversation he had with his mom. He told her we were back together and she was mad as hell saying she hates me and that she doesn't like what I represent and Dan was like what does she represent? She didn't say anything! Well he came home and I got a text from her saying" God forbid that my son wants to be with you and he may hate me for saying this but I hate you more then I've hated anyone in my life!" I've only met her three times and I'm shocked at what she said. I just ignored it. We were so happy and everything was great for two months. Then she started saying things again everytime Dan would go see his parents, they live down the street from us. Due to my cancer I was on a lot of pain Meds and my doctor put me on the methadone program after cancer treatment and his mom hates that. Plus I can't have kids but Dan can't either. She would just lash into him and he felt like he had to choose so he broke up with me again. I gave my place and moved in with him. I had nowhere to live. So I packed up and left. He said he loves me and he sorry. We didn't talk for like a month. Then I saw his prolfe in POF a dating site. It said he was looking for love. It hit me so hard in my gut that I almost puked. So I texted him say I see your looking for love. He texted back saying no it should say looming for loving!!! So we talk and he said for me to come over and against my better judgement I did. We had a great night. The connection we have is so strong and we both cried and he doesn't cry. He said he was sorry and for me to live my life. He said he just needs to see if there is anyone that can measure up to me. So since then we've been seeing each other once every couple weeks. I asked how his search was going he said not good. He said that once he says he can't drive, he has epilespy and that he's on disability they want nothing to with him. I told him that's how a lot of woman are these days. You had a woman who loved you for who you are. I still do love you. I said why are we doing this we still love each other. He says he thinks of me when he's on a date. I'm like why are we apart when we have this connection and love for each other. He said its my mother she hates you and u can't deal with her bitching about you. I said you need to grow up and be a man. I said what your just gonna settle for whoever just because your mom like her? He said no! I said but that's what you're doing by breaking up with me because she doesn't like me. I could see if you broke up with me because we argued to much or you just didn't live me anymore. But that's not the issue you love me. Your just listening to what your mom says. He said that I need to to see other people and if we are meant to be we will be. That if can't find anyone that makes him feel like I do then hell come back to me. That's messed up. He said no one has ever loved him the way I did. He said it was the best relationship he's ever had. So we said goodbye. It's been two weeks since then. I can't stop thinking about him. I love him so much. I've never loved a man like this. He makes me feel so good and when I'm having a bad day he makes it better. I have tried to date but evey time I meet a man there nothing no spark. There good looking and they have their **** together but I feel nothing. I just want Dan back. I can't get him out of my head or my heart. I'm in love with Dan. I feel empty without him, he's my other half. I don't know what to do. I can't seem to let him go. I even dream about him when I sleep. I've never done that with anyone before. I just don't understand this. I don't know what to do. I can't move on.

Thanks ,

I completely understand where you are coming from...My ex acted the same way. He has a disabilty also. I think they act like this because they have been hurt and rejected so much that when a Good woman comes along they don't actually realize that they have one...We broke up a few months ago and I think it was all his sister. It has been extremely hard for me, I talked to him everyday when we were together and to have to cut him off cold has been hard. I still love him and i'm still in love with him. I cant tell you what to do, I just want you to know that you aren't by yourself. I would give anything to get him to realize that Family doesn't always know best.

I'm sorry to hear that but almost the samething happened to me! I was with my ex boyfriend for almost 4 yrs I had left him because he kept cheating and treating me as if I ment nothing to him. So I left him and I met someone else 4 months later that loved and cared for me for me but when he found out he came back around and I was the dummy that gave in and left the guy that adored everything about me.. I left because even though I cared for him alot and loved how he made me feel my heart was still not over my ex boyfriend so I left him and tried things with my ex but as I thought it didn't last long he started doing his norm so I left him this time I said for good and got back with the guy awhile later that was still waiting on me to come back to him.. But unfortunately I was so torn bitter hurt and exhausted from everything I had been threw.. so I took matters into my own hands told myself and my new guy that in order for me to move forward I need to move out this house so he can't stop by or nothing and I did just that he even went to the lengths of buying me a house just to do it but again it didn't last long because my heart was still hurt by my ex I hadn't dealt with what he had done to me nor put me though.. so I left my current boyfriend again not for my ex but just to get away I felt I needed to find myself.. and once again my ex found me got my number from one of my family members and called me. We cuddled did dinner watched movies he told me he loved me ect the whole month we were back dealing with each other even wanted to get a house together but close to the end of that month he called me to tell me he didn't want to talk to me never again not to call him nor come by his house he told me that he could never date me again that he didn't love me at all anymore he just wanted me to never call or talk to him again.. I cried I asked him why what had I done and why did you go thru all the trouble of finding me to get back with me to do this?! He told me we wasn't back together we would never be together again and that he never told me recently he loved me and to leave him alone! I was more than hurt I didn't even understand why still don't I asked him again why he said it is him not me it's just him! I didn't believe it not for one min. So after about a week of not calling texting or talking to him I said well I guess crying isn't going to make my life better so I tried to clear my mind.. I go to the dr. To make sure everything is ok with me because I had missed my period and was having very bad stomach pains and a few days later my dr. Called me to notify me that I had been given chlamydia I dropped to the floor I couldn't believe that he would do something like that to me so I text him and call him he never calls or texts back but a few days later he picked up the phone I asked him why would he do me the way he has and then on top of it give me a std and all he said to me is all I can say is sorry then after that told me how much he doesn't love me doesn't want me or to be with me told me to get over it and hung up... I say the same things to myself how will I get back to my happy caring self even though I'm in a relationship I find myself sometimes when I see him getting angry all over again! That Is one person I hate and will never be able to forgive him for what he has put me thru or done to me.. In time it will get better but it takes time to heal for yourself.. Once you do you will regain ur pride about urself and realize he is the one that lost out not u!

I'm in same situation over 2 years living together we had an argument over phone and I told him "I'm done" clicked text him besides everything between us I wish him the best and that he finds someone to make him happy he replied I wish you the same and that was it it's been 10 months already we haven't spoken or text nothing he didn't even come home for his belongings after 4 months broken up I seen him while visiting a cousin where we use to live I tried speaking to him but he didn't say anything it was like two strangers just staring from a distance later on thru the day he's friend ex neighbor of ours told me he was having a baby she was 6 months along we were 4 months broken up it killed me that day I felt something inside change I didn't haven't tried to speak with him about it it also explains why he doesnt look at me that whole week i was visiting he would lower his head wouldn't look at me directly I only said to his friend that if he ever need anything he knows I'm here for him and that I'm no one to judge or forgive him for what he did and that I know how excited he must be that I love him so much that I rather see him happy with someone else than to be unhappy with me it's been 6 months since than and it hurts me so much but I love him and I do miss him I cry every night there isn't a day that he doesn't cross my mind I've have lost everything our home what I had with him now I'm In my mom's house I have my room/closet which is under the stairs it's been really hard for me dealing with this especially Now that i found out that he's been asking how my family is doing and he's been seen by where i live i don't understand why he's doing this i just don't know what to do I'm at my breaking point why is he coming around now I know that he loves me too and he made a mistake but why didn't he talk to me he was my first boyfriend first kiss I was 18 when we got together now I'm 21 he's 25

I'm very sorry for what happened to you and I see that you are really deeply hurt but the main reason of everything you are going through is him and you have to get back on track and show that good for nothing piece of crap you are better than this. You should be happy he left after two years! What if this happened after being in a relationship for even long time?! It would hurt you more. It's not your fault so don't blame yourself for anything except for loving him because obviously he don't deserve love. I know you cry a lot but in a way crying is good it lets out all your pai and you feel good after some time. Move on with your life and wait for the day when karma slaps him in the face for what he did and remember one thing - don't be sad that people hurt you, they will all die :) love you

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Daniella Terry

This is the story of mine its killing me softly. I wish i forget him right away. Its really hurt. But i believed everything has end.

I'm 14 and I know we might not know about love so much but honestly we had a very special bond and he broke up with me a month or so ago over text and it said he still loved me but was to busy, he told my friend he just didnt want to be with me anymore , he started dating someone right after and I'm like ugh why is it so easy for you but he always stares at me and i don't know what's going to happen next I don't know what I feel for him I just miss the idea of him , you learn a lot from a person in two years and we are starngers now he did blush when I hugged him because of a school thing and everyone says they feel like we'll get back but we don't even talk I really don't know what's going to happen next.. I understand how you feel

I'm a guy and I feel you on heart break I feel like what's the point of being different and faithful if everyone leaves me I been in 3 relationships and I loved truly loved one idk if one true love is even real but I don't yell when we argued I talk things out I never put myself first I'm respectful and nice and other things but my recent ex just left me like I was nothing no reason for leaving me I was nothing but go to her idk

Hey there, your story hits home for me. My partner and I spent 4 years together, we never had major arguments and did everything together... Low and behold after asking him if he was breaking up with me, he packed everything up within an hour, crying, a mess and walked out of my life. Afterwards, as I continued to reach out, he continued to treat me like ****, as if I was "bothering" him, that he just needed to figure himself out and move forward with his life. He hasn't once asked me "hey, how are YOU doing?" Or apologized sincerely for how things ended... It leaves us that are abandoned feeling as if we didn't do enough... When in reality, they react out of guilt, shame & have already found something else to "look forward to". I truely don't believe they ever stop loving you in an instant, but the more we feed them, the more we ask then to reconsider, it stokes their ego, makes them feel as if they're moving forward, while we stay behind heartbroken, yearning for them. It's a sick way of looking at things, especially when you said you "loved" unconditionally. It's hard, you try everything you can think of to make things work, and keep getting kicked in the teeth, portrayed as some insecure, needy person when in reality... YOU are worthy and they are not, they don't have compassion deep in their hearts for others, a person with compassion would be there for you through thick and thin, regardless if the relationship worked or not, they wouldn't leave you hanging... It in the end feeds their ego.

Thanks that has helped i been going through hell want to tallk
still too raw

How did u cope. It's been 6 months since he broke up with me. I'm not sleeping properly I'm still crying everyday. We were together for 5 years lived together for 4, had a house together and I thought he was the one. I'm 26 and completely shattered. He wanted to be single yet I find out he's going out with a girl from his work. His parents keep in contact with me and we are still trying to sort out the house. Everytime I see him I burst into tears and he gets angry at me saying I need to move on. I still love him even though he's with someone else. I'm pathetic :(

I am going thru exactly the same thing. and i wondering.. what happened next.. please email me, i am heart broken, not because it ended but because he is a stranger too, he doesnt care... so im curious to know what happened

It seems like he was trying to find any excuse to leave you which is why you thought it was petty of him to accuse you over minor things. People usually do this out of guilt - I hope that helps :) everything happens for a reason and him leaving you has just made a path open up to a new adventure for you!

I feel for you and understand what you are going through . My boyfriend of 12 years just decided to end things and is dating someone else already , I feel lifeless most of the time and feel like I will never get over him it's been 2 months and I still cry a lot and feel weak every time I do , I don't think anyone understands what I'm feeling so I usually just keep everything bottle up and the worst part is that we have a child together so I can't just not talk to him , things would be much easier :(

How did u cope. It's been 6 months since he broke up with me. I'm not sleeping properly I'm still crying everyday. We were together for 5 years lived together for 4, had a house together and I thought he was the one. I'm 26 and completely shattered. He wanted to be single yet I find out he's going out with a girl from his work. His parents keep in contact with me and we are still trying to sort out the house. Everytime I see him I burst into tears and he gets angry at me saying I need to move on. I still love him even though he's with someone else. I'm pathetic :(

This story totally feels like mine. I was shocked and amazed how quickly someone can remove you from their life after years. In my case, I become starter to her in the second she dumped me. After those words, we never talked to each other again. It felt like two strangers talking. I relocated myself to a new country for her. When I told her this you wouldn't believe her response: "now you can go home or you can decide what you want to do - doesn't matter". It has been 8 years since this happened but I still remember these words clearly. It took me just over 4 years to leave this thing behind me but I finally did. The fun part is that I have no hard feelings towards her. I said very hurtful things at the end when the new boyfriend "knocked on my door" (after ONE week our split) - I regret those words but I have no hard feelings towards her. I don't resent her for turning my life upside down. I practically lost the best years of my life after this breakup and I feel I should hate her for this but I don't.

I feel for you, I really do. I hope now, you feel better as well. I truly believe that if something doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Omg I would so love to talk to you. I just lost my fiancé and it was like reading my own story when I read yours.

:-( Please get over him! I know it sounds redundant and apathetic but really...who is the one on here SUFFERING and wondering endlessly! What is the point? These people below me are correct and I did not need to read the whole thing because basically, their advices makes sense for both me and you my friend! Good luck!

I can relate to your story. It was so like mine. I think the primarily problem lie with the bf. He seemed to be suffering from stuffs in his deepest internal that no one can understand. I GUESS WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE ON STEP BY STEP EACH DAY TO RECOVER.

Some men just aren't normal I just went through this, we loved each other and we were our first loves and a first for a lot of things but though he let his friends and his thoughts get into his head. **** him. Sometimes loving someone with all your heart just simply isn't enough. When the man decides its time to end it there's no point in trying to reason with the beast, I am sorry.

I totally agree Poison. This also just happened to me last week, and literally, one minute we were blissfully happy, just back from a weekend away and, would you believe, planning a baby!!! Picking out names, making decisions, completely united. One night changed everything. We went out, his friends told him maybe I wasn't the "right" person for him long term (I know this because I overheard the conversation). The next day, over the phone, he told me he no longer wanted to be in a relationship or be "attached", and wanted to be single. He was crying on the phone while he said these words that have been the source of intense pain, insomnia, copious amounts of red wine and bitter, bitter tears.

Joloholo, don't worry. You deserve so much better. I know you loved him and it doesn't feel like it right now, but remember you are strong. You were strong before he came into your life and you will not let a cowardly, weak, selfish little man child take away that strength. Hearing yours, and everyone else's stories uplifts my broken heart to know I'm not alone in this battle to find normality again.

Walk with your head held high, a smile on your face and the knowledge in your heart that although it hurts now, you still have the ability to love and be loved. And he did not. He ran scared, from possibly the best thing he'll never have again. xxx

Your response gives me strength; I too am battling. It is so hard with all the waves of sadness. I don't know how they do it. I don't know how do they 'decide' it. But I hope I find some stability. I wish the same for you. And I hope you're doing great.

Maybe he was tired of you always picking arguments. You say you we're tired of him always blaming you but be honest with yourself, was it you? Did he ever start arguments for no reason? And with a man, don't ever threaten the relationship, they will call your bluff. That might work with boys but not with a man.

you not the only one~~i feel you...3

The reality is that your ex has no idea how to have a proper relationship. Arguments are normal, without them you will never grow and be strong as a couple. Arguments should not be about who is right or wrong, it should be about understanding each other's point of view and coming to some middle groud and comprise. No two people are the same so obviously you'll have disagreements and opposing views on things. If he truly loved you, he would try to work things out. He was fake! Just remember you deserve someone who loves you for who you are not someone who tries to change you and gets scared or insecure about a petty arguement and uses it jump out of the relationship. Be happy and confident with yourself because you were before he came into your life. Someone will come along and will treat you with more respect :)!

I'm right there with u and it sounds so much like me and my ex and I mean so much so if I didn't know better I would swear it was my relationship u were talking about!! Ur taking it better then me cause when he was sleeping with someone just weeks after we split I firmly believe he was getting over me for a lot longer then when we broke up! He seemed to just b waiting for something to happen and to pounce on it so he had his reason to end it!! I think that he was tryin to look for someone else for a lot longer then when we split and it's been 6 months and he stil denies he's dating anyone but he disappears Wednesday thru Sunday and then Sunday night when his girlfriend leaves he txts me isn't that nice of him!? I don't know what to say to make u feel better cause I think u got screwed over and nowhere to live??? And they wonder why women snap lol keep ur head hi girly and get angry what's the worst that's gonna happen? He's gonna break up with u? Lol nope he already did that lol so screw him and his new girlfriend lol sorry for bein so graphic but that's how I feel luv !!! Forget him and get 6 more just like him lol. Pamper urself and go get hair done and nails done and go tanning and get super hot and the best revenge is living well lol good luck girl xoxo Tonya

Found out my ex has Passive-Agressive personality disorder. What you said is exactly what I went the dot.<br />
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He had many relationship which never lasted more than few months, longest being a year. I was his longest relationship, 4 yrs. <br />
He gave me no reason for the breakup, atleast not one that made sense. He loves me, cares about me, but doesn't think it will work... what? <br />
I am a person who can't live without finding the truth. I don't lie and I hate lies, simple. And so I went in search for the truth, it's not easy to know and sometimes harder to handle. <br />
Truth is, he had been having sex with prostitutes and random chicks for many months. He knew I am a lover of truth, loyalty, etc and the deeper into darkness he fell the more tensed he got. He realised he was addicted to that lifestyle and knew I'll find out if he stayed with me. Stupid of him to think, just because he brokeup I won't search for the truth. 4 yrs of loving him, there's no way I'd just accept a fake reason. So much disrespect. I gave him unconditional love and affection. I feel as if I had been spat in the face. <br />
<br />
One thing I know for a fact I am the one person who he fears in life. Somewhere I believe he tried his best to change but kept falling back. His friends we're bad company... and most of the time it does matter. What you are can be told by the company you keep.<br />
More than anger I feel pity for him. He pretends to be happy, while everything he's doing is eating away at his humanity slowly. I hope he learns from his mistakes someday. <br />
I still love him, just not the person he chose to become. He chose his actions. Now I'm making mine.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was going to post on the OP's thread that her guy probably had something going on on the side. My story sounds exactly the same. The guy I loved unconditionally, the one I was there for no matter what turned out to be a terrible liar. I believe he wanted to be better but instead, he chose to sleep with random women (you're right about judging people by the company they keep... I should've thought of that sooner).

Now he seems to hate me for busting him on his lies, though I have proof he's lying and he won't even talk to me. He's like a stranger.... And he still has all his stuff at our place.... But he swears he's only coming back to move out and I'll never hear from him again.

Thankfully it was only one year of my life, but I feel so used and sad and confused. It's like he lacks a conscience.... Now to focus on getting myself stronger, happier and believing that there is a wonderful guy out there for me... When I'm ready to date again.