When Will He End???

About 14 years ago I became friends with someone online. He was the tech guy for an online site I used to run. Eventually we met in person. It was love at first sight so to speak. We traveled back and forth to see each other as we lived in different states. Eight hour drives sometimes going through NYC etc to see each other. Everything was great. We were so in love. Perfect couple.

One day I felt funny. Got a pregnancy test and guess what ..... POSITIVE. I didn’t want children at the time but once I felt that first flutter I melted and all I could and still think of is taking care of my son.

When my son decided to show his head  It was fast and furious. Natural child birth in less than 5HRS. He was born at 5:33am. There was over 20 stitches from being ripped apart down below. By 11am ex had already left the hospital because he had other things to do. I was all alone in the hospital with this new life, no clue, no support. Despite the what the Dr’s said I left first thing the next morning. I spent less than 1.5 days in the hospital. Get home. He has his buddies over for drinks to celebrate while I was trying to learn to breast feed my son.
After a few weeks we got it down good but I was exhausted. I would pump and fill bottles and asked him if he could let me sleep and give him his feeding while I tried. My son nursed for 1 yr and took his sweet time when doing it.. Ie.. on one boob for 40+ min then the other for the same. Then 2 hrs later back on them again. I felt like a cow with a machine on me 24/7.
When I pumped milk for bottles and he said he would feed him I would see him on the computer. “Oh just get some sleep.” He claimed he was just playing a few games. A month later…….. My bank account was wiped out of $1500. Oh guess what he was playing on line blackjack on my money that I saved for when I was on Family Leave. By the time I found this out it was too late. He wiped out another $1500. When I saw this I flipped. Grand total that month he cleared out over $10,000 from my savings.

We ended up moving to DE because his father offered his lazy *** a job. We get there and nothing changed. It got worse. On the morning of our first wedding anniversary I see his lap top open with his msn account. Sitting drinking my coffee I look over and see…. Ohh a password and login for a sex site. I never looked into his stuff. I have always been a very private person and respect that. But when I saw this I flipped. I logged into the account and see over 20 emails responses… “looking for daytime hook ups for blow jobs at lunch…. Looking for group sex with couples and more. Looking for men to teach me to take it in the a**”.. I freaked out. As anyone should.

After long talks and a little yelling we worked things out. “ Oh it was because an email I read and I got sucked into it.” Such a load of crap.

Two years later I found him doing the same thing again. Sex sites, online gambling, cheating, going to the bars, side swiped a jersey barrier with my truck while at bars with other women.

He has cost me over $40,000 to divorce him. He was suppose to pay $1000mth in child support- which he never did. When I had to move because I had lost everything this idiot pulled more headaches for me. He said the only way I could relocate to a different state was if I let him go on his child support arrears ( well over 10g’s he owed) and reduce it to $217 per month. * which please note he didn’t pay.

When my son had to go to summer school this year he could not do the court assigned 2wks on 2wks off because DE and CT. But please understand that it is stipulate for us to discuss and work things out. CT would not accept the summer school unless done instate. Different standards. During this period of time I broke my ribs and more. Broke 2 ribs from my sternum. Also tore muscles from rib cage and broken rib. When I spoke with him about the matter he said it was fine – “ I have kick off’s and meetings so that works great for me”

When he was in jail on 3 different occasions for DUI during his “assigned” visits I took the blame with my son. My son would get upset and said I didn’t let him see his father…. When no it was I didn’t want to tell him his father was in jail.

School ended on the 6th of August and I was to bring him down on the 9th. I could not afford it. It cost me over $180 for the trip. My son has gone through growth spurts etc. Spent so much just to get him clothes and shoes that fit when the ex had not paid child support for god knows how long. Where the hell was I to come up with the money? His mother gave him a personal check to try and cover some of it. But like I said it was red flagged. I told him I cannot drive him down until it clears. His response “ YOU HAVE A FIANCE HE CAN PAY FOR IT!” OMG it’s bad enough that fiancé does more for this kid than his own father does but for him to just expect every one to take care of his responsibilities drives me insane. So right after that he goes to the county court and files charges that I am with holding visitation. He doesn’t have money to pay child support but can Pay over $60 to file papers against me. JUST TO CAUSE ME FRIGGING HEADACHES. Ohh because the poor baby .. his wife got canned and they are getting evicted from the farm house they lived on that she worked for. They want them out. So now he is trying to make my life as miserable as his.!!!!!!!!!!!!

He made a payment to child support ( a check from his mother) but because it was a personal check for a large amount it sent up a red flag and they froze the account. He had to go and get a copy of the canceled check ets. I told him 1) I didn’t have the money to drive my son down. 2) I couldn’t hold a steering wheel that long. Dr’s orders I can not lift no more than 5lbs or let alone drive a car for 8+ hours.

So he gets a check from his mom to cover part of what he owe’s ( just to keep it under the limit to arrest him) then the idiot….goes to court and files charges against me saying I am refusing visitation. Blows my mind. He tells me….. “oh this works out well…” But when I tell him I cannot afford $180 to drive him down he can find money to go file against me.

Now I have to wait more than a month and travel 4 states to take care of this. Then he starts telling me last night that I am still denying him visits or contact. Excuse my langue but BULL ****> he can call our house phone, my cell, etc. There is nothing with held. He goes for 1-2mth not calling him. Then I have to calm my son because he thinks his Dad doesn’t care. His son doesn’t even want to talk to him. He loves him because he is Dad but he has seen the antic’s he has pulled. He is young but not stupid.

Each day I pretend like his father is a good person. I don't want him to know. But I am so drained trying to make him look like a good person so his son has someone to respect.
kittenAmuck kittenAmuck
36-40, F
Sep 8, 2012