Im just totally insecure about my face.

Usually i just try not to think about it. Then i look into the mirror i just think "Blah ..it will do"
Sometimes i even think i look cute. Mostly in the evening if the lightning is soft or if i have especially "good hair" day.
But most of the time i just hate my face. Nobody ever called me ugly to my face but nobody called me beautiful either. Personally i think im OK looking but more to the ugly side. Its like my face is not feminine enough. And the bone structure is just so plain and boring. I wish it was narrower and more "sharp". I hear quite a lot of compliments from both men and women about my body. But i dont remember anyone ever saying anything nice about my face.(apart from family but that doesn't really counts) It really depresses me as i would really like to have a beautiful face. 
Then i was younger i used to think the main problem was my nose. And was even thinking of talking my parents into a plastic surgery for my 18th birthday or something.
But now i understand that my nose is actually ok. Its my eyes and my smile. My eyes are quite small and not expressive and i have slight black circles . Plus they are slightly different shapes. Its the reason i never have my picture taken "full face". I always turn my head half sideways so the difference cant be seen.  Couse then you can really see the difference and its proper ugly. Some people even suggested i have a lazy eye but i i went to an eye doctor and he said that no...its just my eyes are slightly different shapes. Im not sure how noticeable is it in real life couse my ex-bf managed not to notice it, but on the photos its very noticeable.
Next think is my smile. I envy people who can smile with their teeth shown.
If i smile with my teeth i just look super retarded. I actually look like im some crazy animal that was hit by a truck.....i actually never saw a person with a worse smile than i have.At the same time i think my face looks very angry if i dont smile so im half smiling most of the time then im around people. I always smile without showing my teeth. And if i laugh i cover my mouth. Thanks god i dont live in the USA and people in my country are not so obsessed about their smiles and beautiful teeth. 
The worst part is that  neither smile or eyes can be "improved" with plastic surgery....you can make eyes bigger or stich on a new jaw....

Werd is that nonetheless im quite vain. I love to have my picture taken and can spend a lot of time infront of the mirror. 
If i feeling especially ugly i can spend an hour taking pictures of myself couse if i make a few pictures where i like myself....always with my head slightly sideways....than i feel better and convince myself that really i dont look that bad. Its like the more pictures i take the better i feel. For some strange reason i love myself more at the pictures than in real life. I suppose its because to the addition to all insecurities mentioned above i also think that my face looks ugly then i talk....and that sometimes i make weird face expressions....

Uh as you see im just totally insecure about my face. I never go outside without makeup couse it makes me at least a tiny bit prettier.
Have no idea what to do about it. 
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses May 6, 2012

Firstly, I am in EXACTLY the same boat as you, though my self perceived ugliness is due to a medical condition called hydrocephalus, or water on the brain, this left a 3month old me with a head the size of a twelve year old. I felt abnormal at 9 and now several years on I feel like a downright ABOMINATION, I see my face with ugly eyes downturned on the outside corners, an overbite, overcrowding and buck teeth, one of my friends even compared them to those of a DONKEY during a Christmas play in preschool...

Oh, I could go on forever with the things I hate about myself

Advice wise, I'm no good with the /actual science or whatever, but one thing is certain, do not hide behind a mask of makeup, you are a wonderful, beautiful person. Many people only judge by appearances but what really matters is what is inside. You're only (from the sound of things) focusing on the negatives. what helped me most was writing a list of five to ten things that i liked about myself, I put this list in the place I always see first thing in the morning, the ceiling. This really boosted my self esteem.

One last quote before I go,

Do not wait for the light at the end of the tunnel,
Stride down there and light the damn thing yourself

oh honey, i have the exact same problem. I hate my face especially my long nose. every time someone looks at me from the side i always look straight or away from them so they dont see my ugly side profile. i dont know about u but the next thing im gonna say is always mentioned to me- be grateful that you have all your body parts. even though it gets annoying when its repeated but it is so true. some people are born with no nose or 1 arm. how do you think they feel? plus i recommend you dont go under the knife with plastic surgery. there has been multiple gone-wrong incidents and be proud of what god gave you. if everyone was the same, the world would be boring as hell. im not gonna drag this along so i'll just say this. i do the exact same thing.i stare at my self in the mirror and i also think im pretty in the evening because of the dim lighting and because i usually have sleepy eyes, but then when i wake up, its like a truck ran over my face in my sleep. anyway, if u are really that insecure, therapy is another option. take care