Left Alone, To Feel Like This?!?

My family had been great...then I turned 12 and everything changed. My mum does not give what happens, I am just the one to blame. My dad used to care, but now does not know I exist. My eldest brother hits me, says things to me, says insults to me, makes me feel that I have no where to go, my other brother who is in the middle, he says insults all the time, says I am fat, makes me feel as if I am no body and nothing. Just as if I am nothing to them.

I isolate myself to my room. One day I stayed in my room for 22 hours and only came out for 2, becausse that morning they said **** to me. Everyday I isolate myself and try to forget about the world that is outside of my bed room door. I go to school around 7 every morning to get away. I try to stay away from home or isolate myself to my room, so I don't have to feel like ****.

I don't talk to my family, only if neccessary. I do't get anything. My brothers get every little desire. I have had the same clothes for about 4-5 months and I had a huge growth spurt and I am really tall so half my clothes dont fit me.

At school my teachers say I have the ability to get higher grades but I have to put the effort in, then when my parents heard they had a huge ***** fit at me. They want me to become some one who works in a office, but I want to become a vet or nurse but they just try everything to make me do what they want. I have my mind set and they won't see that.

I have no choice in what I do, say or think. I feeel like I am controlled. I have no where to go. Yesterday me and my mum were talking and she turned the conversation to my school grades and had a huge ***** fit and said that I would have to go to the worst shcool in town if I don't get grades next semester.

I don't no what to do. I feel like I have no where to go, alone and controlled. They don't even see the pain they cause EVERYDAY! Their blind when I show any emotion.

Please, if you can help, tell me what to do, how I can fix this? Cozz I hate my family!  

NeverCounted NeverCounted
13-15, F
Jul 13, 2010