They Hate Me, And I Hate Them

There's that part of you that will love your family no matter what. This does not mean you like them. I've always been the black sheep in my family. I tried for a long time to be concerned that they didn't like me, but I don't hink that does any good. Yes I smoked pot in high school. There, boom, I did that. I also drank, which is pretty insane right? I must have been the only one. One side of my family politely locks everything away and looks at me like I'm a meth addict about to steal them blind if only I had the chance. I'm a nurse. I've never robbed anyone, never been violent, never even pretended to be. But still they talk to me softly as not to send me into some kind of blind rage. I've never even argued with them. They talk about me behind my back and everytime something goes missing, for about a week, untill they remeber where they put it and everything is suddenly ok, keep asking if I'm sure, and they would understand and they just hope it turns up. Really? I dress pseudo preppy. I don't tuck in my button down shirts. It's constant. The other side of my family my fathers side can't keep their delight about what a loser they think that I am to themselves. Two cousins who's parents bought their homes, gave them their land, which they took from my grandfather leaving me nothing (which is fine just saying) who lived with their parents untill they were given very nice homes, and one who's husband is soley employed to walk around by her dad. They think its wonderful that in my late twenties I moved back in with my parents to go to nursing school. WhAt a loser, they couldn't imagine such a thing, lol. My stepmother who has always been kind to me all be it with great dislike is always there at every gathering judging. Her kids who relentlessly talk about me, one a raging alcoholic the other a wife beater, all thank their lucky stars they are better than I am, and go on and on about it. My sisters kids, the girl, probably the dumbest person bar none I have ever met, makes it her personal goal in life to give me attitude and say to my face the most nasty things anyone has ever said to me. That's what makes her happy, seeing if she can say something that might get me to kill myself. The son, who is second on the list of people who have said the nastiest things to me in all my life, together go on and on about how perfect their lives are. He told me that when my parents are dead they want nothing more to do with me. I.e. I'm the uninvited one to family gatherings. That his goal in life was to not be as big a loser as I am. Which he thinks will be easy as a personal trainer in a town with 10,000 people in it. They repeatedly for most of my life invited my ex's to all family events, when I told them I would bring one of theirs after 7 years of this, they threw a fit. After all this they constantly complain about their Christmas gifts that I get them cause I didn't spend enough. They have never bought me one, not even a card. They are possibly the most horrible people I've ever met and I've never done anything to them. While I love my family, I'd also like to throw them off a cliff. I used to love holidays, now, I can't bare them. The thought of having to spend anytime at all with those two makes me want to set myself on fire. Every year I have tried to do anything I could to just get them to let up. I hate them. I really really hate them.
Sickofitall1234 Sickofitall1234
Nov 28, 2012