Mom And Dad

my mother is the only constant good in my life.

whole life my father has been addicted to his rage. One of my earliest childhood memories is of an earthquake in the home I held up in my room because I thought the house shaking was just him throwing his typical fits.

Dad doesn't do much at all, never did, around the house but worked and always bitched at us to help out. My mom would drag me and my sister who did not want ot go anywhere off to church. The first 12 years of my life consisted of him working at standard and Mom and my sister Jennifer and her friend Jackie raising me. Jackie who was a run a way (I don't know if I told you about her! if i didn't this story will have to get EVEN longer and this letter is probably getting saved as some kind of autobiography already.)

my dad was always pissed about something. kids who didn't do what he wanted or who didn't respond well to discipline and mom calling him all the time about it

When mom got aol and went online in 1996 or so he started drinking because she wanted to have cybersex with others online but barely let him do the same. I was just a kid. I did not know why but found out from later sordid confessions from my father

when he quit his job in 1999 I was with my first ex and barely mentioned my family. He got a job for another company which went belly up quick. I would have maybe 2 hours of peace a night between when school where I was being bullied like crazy was over and him getting home and flipping his **** every single night reliably as day turns to night. When we moved we kept moving, being relocated from there to Phoenix to Omaha until finally he was hired in Florida for Disney which started outsourcing almost the moment he came in. He watched his entire department get more and more pink slips and started drinking so heavily there were nights he'd hit mom through my teenage ears and I'd punch him in the face and the next day i'd get griped at like crazy for having made his eye black and blue when he didn't remember he even crossed the line. One time due to my condition and fear of food and scents and certain textures i knocked some of his orange chicken out of a container in the kitchen and couldn't find something to protect my hand to clean it up with and when he came outside to see it knocked over and me in my room with the door closed and him **** drunk he was so angry he kicked my door in as I tried to hide form him. I choked him that night. Damn nearly beat the **** out of him even though he was an old man.

another night I was held up in the living room just trying to watch the daily show and caught him ******* in a box in a robe and when i told him to go to the bathroom he tried to walk outside naked and I had to wrestle him back into his room

I have never told... next to anyone the full tale of what he did to me.... He would yell at me every single night and because I was a special needs kid who would vomit upon the intake of certain flavors that bothered me feeding me was a pain in the *** but he always treated me like my condiiton was my fault and that I was a gigantic burden.

So eventually he got hired in Raleigh and on a trip to the hospital about a year in got infected with MSSA (MRSA'S slightly less evil cousin) and came down severely ill and ended up with it in his spine and they had to do surgery after surgery and antibiotic after antibiotic until it was all gone and they couldn't rehire him. After it was done part of his spine bones were gone and they had to replace with metal rods...

I have done everything i can to never talk about my dad ever. EVER.

even after EVERYTHING I've mentioned. I NEVER Talk about family

My mom was a Jehova's witness and my father was an atheist and tensions would often flare until the atheist in the house (all three of us agreed with dad by the end) finally talked her out of it

I was TORTURED by my peers who hated me so badly they molested my only friend because she dared befriend me
ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
31-35, M
Dec 18, 2012