I'd Kill Them If I Could.
I hate my ******* family. I hate everything about them. I believe 95% of my life problems stem from them. They are the reason everything is wrong in my life. They are two-faced, gossiping, judgemental, narrow-minded pieces of ****, who deserve the worst.I dont know what I did to deserve this family. The sad thing is that they actually believe they are a good family. And do you know why they believe this? Because they put on a ******* sherade!!!! No, my parents didn't get a divorce, and no one in my family is a hardcore drug addict and no, i didn't get sexually abused although I did get hit as a child. But my family likes to believe they are perfect, that they are the ******* brady bunch. But they are the ******* opposite!
ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS LOOKING PERFECT. They all put on a ******* sherade for eachother and act like they are this good fuckign family. All they care about is looking good in our community because we come from a stupid piece of **** culture where if life is eating up your insides you still have to smile and act like your a successful, happy teddybear that loves everyone! Behind this warm sherade lies a family full of hypocritical, backstabbing, unworthy scumbags and I hope to god I break away from this hellhole one day and never see the face of any one of these parasites again. It makes me sick I come from the same gene pool as them.
They don't accept me for who I am. They judge me on everything. Just because i'm not a loud, social, obnoxious attention seeking trail of slime like my sister. Im quiet and they use that against me and make fun of me, calling me a depressed loser. I have been severly depressed for quite some time and no one in this family takes it seriously. They have a hard time believing that any one can be unhappy in our BRADY BUNCH LA-DEE-******* DA FAMILY! Im sick and tired of no one taking me seriously because im not a ******* prisoner of war. I have confided in my sisters back when I was naive enough to trust them and when we would get into fights they would use it against me, totally shattering my self-esteem. I called my brother who was living in the states at the time and told him about how depressed I was feeling and truley confided and him, I told him everything. A few months later when he returns home, he tells them everything i told them and they just used it against me some more! I asked him why and he makes fun of me for it telling me to stop being such a baby.
I went to the doctor and she prescribed me anti-depressants. I didn't tell my mom or trust her at first, but I was unsure of taking them, so once again, like a fool, i decided to confide in my mom and brother and ask them what they think of me taking them. And once again, they didn't take me seriously, they told me my problems were stupid and that im depressed for no reason. They told me anti-depressants weren't the problem and that i just had to "suck it up and stop being weak."
As a kid, my sisters insulted me on how i look all the time. Now i have extreme social anxiety and hate the way I look. My mom gets frustrated with me when I tell her how i feel. This family is a fuckign curse. My sister was always trying to compete with me as a kid, and always tried to destroy my self esteem. She always tells people we look alike like she's ******* proud, yet destroyed my self esteem as a kid and constantly calls me ugly!!! What type of game is that to play on some one?
My mother completely disregards how Im feeling. All she cares about is how i act around guests and how she doesn't want me to embarrass her around company. When Im depressed she says, "dont embarrass me around _________ now, don't be all pissy now."
One of my cousins, who our family hates came down from germany for a visit around the time of my birthday. My sister, brother and a few people decided to take me out for my birthday and my other sister (who i have no relationship with what so ever) decided to hang out with our "evil" cousin instead of coming to my birthday. Now i was perfectly fine with her not coming to my birthday celebration seeing as how we hate eachother. So my brother and sister get mad at her for not coming to my birthday. Or at least that was there fuckign bullshit excuse for it. They really didn't give a **** that she didn't come to my birthday, they were just mad because they didn't want her hanging out with the "evil" cousin in the first place. And they have the ******* decency to use my birthday as an excuse. So when we had the actual birthday celebration at my house, it was a total mess and there selfish problems ruined it. Every one was in a pissy mood all cause my sister decided not to come to my birthday, when I didn't give a **** about it in the first place. They were mad because of their own selfish reasons and used me as an excuse. My birthday ended up being a total awkward piece of ****. but thats not the end of it.
When my sisters engagement party was going on at our house, I didn't want to partake in it. And my mom storms into my room and insists I come downstairs. I say I dont want to. She says, if you dont come downstairs, dont ever call me mother again and things of that nature. So naturally, I had to come downstairs, act like everything was ******* okay and smile. But when it was my birthday, every one had a right to act as uncomfortable as they felt. Completely unfair.
When my mom gets mad at one of my brothers and sisters, she doesn't DARE explode at them, she reasons and bargains with them. But she takes it all out on me. Im her ******* punching bag. She still ******* hits me when she's angry, but not them..
I am really fed up with our family, and they always guilt trip me into thinking i have things so easy. They dont see their faults. These negative feelings dont come from no where. Being severely depressed doesn't come from no where. Yet they think I make everything up. I hate my life, and my family is a disease.