Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I'd Kill Them If I Could.

I hate my ******* family. I hate everything about them. I believe 95% of my life problems stem from them. They are the reason everything is wrong in my life. They are two-faced, gossiping, judgemental, narrow-minded pieces of ****, who deserve the worst.I dont know what I did to deserve this family. The sad thing is that they actually believe they are a good family. And do you know why they believe this? Because they put on a ******* sherade!!!! No, my parents didn't get a divorce, and no one in my family is a hardcore drug addict and no, i didn't get sexually abused although I did get hit as a child. But my family likes to believe they are perfect, that they are the ******* brady bunch. But they are the ******* opposite! 
 
ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS LOOKING PERFECT. They all put on a ******* sherade for eachother and act like they are this good fuckign family. All they care about is looking good in our community because we come from a stupid piece of **** culture where if life is eating up your insides you still have to smile and act like your a successful, happy teddybear that loves everyone! Behind this warm sherade lies a family full of hypocritical, backstabbing, unworthy scumbags and I hope to god I break away from this hellhole one day and never see the face of any one of these parasites again. It makes me sick I come from the same gene pool as them.

They don't accept me for who I am. They judge me on everything. Just because i'm not a loud, social, obnoxious attention seeking trail of slime like my sister. Im quiet and they use that against me and make fun of me, calling me a depressed loser. I have been severly depressed for quite some time and no one in this family takes it seriously. They have a hard time believing that any one can be unhappy in our BRADY BUNCH LA-DEE-******* DA FAMILY! Im sick and tired of no one taking me seriously because im not a ******* prisoner of war. I have confided in my sisters back when I was naive enough to trust them and when we would get into fights they would use it against me, totally shattering my self-esteem. I called my brother who was living in the states at the time and told him about how depressed I was feeling and truley confided and him, I told him everything. A few months later when he returns home, he tells them everything i told them and they just used it against me some more! I asked him why and he makes fun of me for it telling me to stop being such a baby.

I went to the doctor and she prescribed me anti-depressants. I didn't tell my mom or trust her at first, but I was unsure of taking them, so once again, like a fool, i decided to confide in my mom and brother and ask them what they think of me taking them. And once again, they didn't take me seriously, they told me my problems were stupid and that im depressed for no reason. They told me anti-depressants weren't the problem and that i just had to "suck it up and stop being weak."

As a kid, my sisters insulted me on how i look all the time. Now i have extreme social anxiety and hate the way I look. My mom gets frustrated with me when I tell her how i feel. This family is a fuckign curse. My sister was always trying to compete with me as a kid, and always tried to destroy my self esteem. She always tells people we look alike like she's ******* proud, yet destroyed my self esteem as a kid and constantly calls me ugly!!! What type of game is that to play on some one?

My mother completely disregards how Im feeling. All she cares about is how i act around guests and how she doesn't want me to embarrass her around company. When Im depressed she says, "dont embarrass me around _________ now, don't be all pissy now."

One of my cousins, who our family hates came down from germany for a visit around the time of my birthday. My sister, brother and a few people decided to take me out for my birthday and my other sister (who i have no relationship with what so ever) decided to hang out with our "evil" cousin instead of coming to my birthday. Now i was perfectly fine with her not coming to my birthday celebration seeing as how we hate eachother. So my brother and sister get mad at her for not coming to my birthday. Or at least that was there fuckign bullshit excuse for it. They really didn't give a **** that she didn't come to my birthday, they were just mad because they didn't want her hanging out with the "evil" cousin in the first place. And they have the ******* decency to use my birthday as an excuse. So when we had the actual birthday celebration at my house, it was a total mess and there selfish problems ruined it. Every one was in a pissy mood all cause my sister decided not to come to my birthday, when I didn't give a **** about it in the first place. They were mad because of their own selfish reasons and used me as an excuse. My birthday ended up being a total awkward piece of ****. but thats not the end of it.

When my sisters engagement party was going on at our house, I didn't want to partake in it. And my mom storms into my room and insists I come downstairs. I say I dont want to. She says, if you dont come downstairs, dont ever call me mother again and things of that nature. So naturally, I had to come downstairs, act like everything was ******* okay and smile. But when it was my birthday, every one had a right to act as uncomfortable as they felt. Completely unfair.

When my mom gets mad at one of my brothers and sisters, she doesn't DARE explode at them, she reasons and bargains with them. But she takes it all out on me. Im her ******* punching bag. She still ******* hits me when she's angry, but not them..

I am really fed up with our family, and they always guilt trip me into thinking i have things so easy. They dont see their faults. These negative feelings dont come from no where. Being severely depressed doesn't come from no where. Yet they think I make everything up. I hate my life, and my family is a disease.

Sillymee Sillymee 18-21, F 57 Responses Jan 17, 2009

Your Response

Cancel

Same I actually hate my family too. They always yell at me for no reason. Every time my brother insults me or hits me, I respond back at him with the same,but the blame is always on me according to my parents. at first,my father was the only one who physically abused me but now my mother does the same. She even says that I shouldn't have woken up at all. She rarely apologizes yet the day after she keeps doing the same. This family is a living helln I get beaten,yelled at almost everyday. I wish I could just escape but I can't. Even when i was younger, my dad used to punch me in front of my friends. They always would criticize the way I look like ,and no wonder i have anxiety too also. I hate them,so much.

If they all died and you had to bury them today , would you still wish you could kill them ? Somehow I don't think so

You're right, no need to wish to kill them if they're dead.

Seriously, I think killing is extreme. But some people really do have sound reason for not liking family members - the threat of no longer having someone around should not be excuse for genuine abuse or lack of fair ethics.

I fckin hate my family..bunch of assholess ..abusive loud think they own d'world bloody bastards,al they do is fight n'abuse each other every1 hates dem neighbours relatives n'den later religious things tat peace ****..biggest hypocrites on face of earth,they hate me coz m a girl n'wish i was never born ..most immature fckn parents on earth...i curse dem they suffer hell ..i knw its wrng to do so bt wtf ..m damaged coz of dem..i cnt trust ny1..i run away frm people..n'nt jus me i hav seen dem ruinin others peoples life its horrific m suicidal..mayb i shud jus end my life. Though i wil go to hell ..m sure its betr den dis living hell..hope god never gives fckn bastards as parents 2 ny1..

yeah I ******* hate my family too.
My older sister: ***** who tells me off no matter what. And that gets me in trouble when I tell her not too, or to shut the **** up.
My younger sister: Little brat, who sulks no matter what, if I ask her to do something in her room she will cry like a baby, then I get in trouble for "making" her cry.
My Youngest sister: She is cool, I like her because she is too little to tell me off without me laughing, she always attacks everyone BUT me, so she is like my weapon, and we play together and have fun.
My mum: *****, she only cares about her own happiness. she is with my stepdad who is a piece of ****, and every time she tells me off (ALWAYS for what my sisters do), she is always blaming me, and saying I am the one blaming everyone else, then making me feel bad.
My stepdad: *******! he came into our family ***** my mum, then acts like the boss! I HATE HIM SO MUCH! seriously, he threatens me, he hits me, his hit my mother, AND SHE STILL "LOVES" HIM! My family are just some selfish bastards.
WHAT I HATE THE MOST, is when someone comes over, and AGREES WITH THEM! then they think THEY have the right to tell ME off, BECAUSE THEY POINT FINGERS AT ME! these next four years are taking forever!

Add a response...

My parents are both ******* losers who only care about themselves. They make fun of my appearance, and force me to take antidepressants like candy. They refuse to address the issues we have, calling me crazy and abnormal, when me and my boyfriend turn 18 next year, he promised to take me away from them. He is foreign and my parents always make jokes about his culture. They have driven me to attempt suicide once. My mom is a vain ***** and my dad is a tyrant who's so stuck up his bosses *** he can't spend 5 minutes with me, even on vacation he stays on the phone and shushes us the entire time. He treats my mom like an object, he takes her keys, won't let her leave the house and won't let her get a job because he's afraid she will leave his fat sorry ***. He claims he's rich but I have to wear clothes with holes in them to school. He told me he would send me to prison because I told him if he doesn't stop treating me this way, I'm going to leave. He's a ******* tyrant, all he cares about is ******* money. He wouldn't even do anything for my birthday, but threw my sister a huge party. He's a total shithead. My mom isn't much better, all she does is scream and whine like a ******* 2 year old when she doesn't get what she wants, she constantly brags about her appearance and tells me no man could love me and that my boyfriend is just pretending. My sister is a little ***** too, she gets whatever she wants and Is a religious zealot who tells me constantly that I'm going to hell because I don't like duck dynasty and other "wholesome things". I can't wait to leave this poisonous family and start my own family.

I feel you i wish i could move far away from them an never see them i only luv one my grandma an two cousin but when there gone i got to go back with my ****** family i have a little patients with them i love to move

My family is the root of all my anger toward the world

My family is the same and the only one I trust anymore is my girlfriend and dog

Add a response...

I feel the same way. I keep noticing that I keep praying they will die somehow. I feel they serve no purpose on this planet. all of my personality problems stem from how ****** my parents are. I have brothers fifteen and nine years younger than me. they are turning Into scumbags at only 10 and 15. they are becoming judgemental, rude, lay lazy. I know that if my parents died and I had to be responsible for them, I would raise them completely different, positively. my family(because of my parents) is a negative piece of hell. I would rather be an orphan and find new parents. don't give a **** if we are blood related. these people are parasites in my opinion. they do my serve my highest good. I constantly want to excommunicate myself from them, but o always crawl back because I am lonely and weak, because of how I was raised not to ask for hel and not to show emotion. so frustrating. it's thanksgivig and everyone is watching a stupid movie not communicating at all or playing x box. what happened to love and real connection?

Omg i frickin have the same things they are ****** up muslims

yup sounds like my family aunts uncles and cousin believe me they just want to dog on me the whole time. and for no reason, i go to uni and have a job dont drink smoke or do drugs, there problem is i stick up for myself and they cant walk over me. i cant wait to leave uni with my degree leave and never hear from them again. i cant even say anything on facebook with out them attacking me. i hate them.

**** my family **** this whole things this whole world is messed up if I hat a gun I swear to God I would have killed them idk about wat gonna happen if u just saw them u think they r very nice I'm only 12 and they treat my like trash my mom doesn't make me food she doesn't help me ever since I was born she never helped me she never even kissed me Took me to school or anything but it my brother and sister she does I hate my family why was I born I curse my own day I was born **** this I wish I can just dissaper now I don't like this I hat my family so much that I would want to keep killing them again and again my mom is starving me to death and my dad doesn't even care my sister and brother think this is a joke wtf I hate this this is **** I would rather be born with no family than this **** everything

I know exactly how you feel! My f****** family has the sh*ttest system where the one who had achieved the better grades will be the one with power to f******* tell anyone off and be top sh*t. Grades aren't everything. If a nerd were to be dumped into a jungle, i doubt they would have the skills to survive. **** all this bulls*** and just get on with it, but no they don't. They keep shoving it in your face that they won or something and can't f***ing relax and just move on. They have to **** you off in order to feel good about themselves. What f***ing family is that! It's a total sh*thole! I can't take it anymore. I want to move out of the house as soon as possible. As soon as I get my finances together, i'll never see them again. Family? Total BullSh*t!

I know how you feel. I have 3 siblings and my mother only abused me and my brother. Only, my brother was REALLY bad. She spends most of her time insulting me now that she cant physically abuse me. And my sisters r twins and they **** ice water, plus they are B!tches but my mother loves them so much. Thats not even nearly the worst of it.

I want to laugh, I hate my family because they expect me to be the perfect child who will make them rich and happy but my three other ******* siblings **** me off, my parents side with them so their also ********. Just wait till I leave to find a job, move out of the country and ******* disappear. Thats how I stay sane and don't kill them. They are my stepping stone to leave forever and if I kill them I have to go through bull****.

You're not alone mate. I also have a family similar to yours. ******* family tree, actually 'cactus of ******'.

Same here. My parents are awfull. I just wanna murder them. I always get blamed for everything. Everything anyone does gets blamed on me, everyone in my family sits on their butts the whole day staring into the computer screens saying their busy which means, im the one who has to do the dishes, walk the dog, wipe the table, make the FOOD! I dont know how to cook, im only 11 yet i have to do everything perfectly without a singe complain. They always ruin everything for me, especially my brother. Now i have no friends because of them. My mom almost slapped like 2 min. Ago for no reason. They just start yelling at me for no reason. And the thing i get the most mad about is the fact that they think posing for a picture is disrespectful. That we have to just stand there faking a smile. Like i just look like freaking pencil. They love to make me cry. They love to annoy me and make fun of me. Like they will call me fat, stupid etc. And when i say that to my brother im grounded. I just want to (a) get adopted, or (b) die, or (c) murder my family and lie to the police.

I hate my family too they don't really appreciate me in ways they do to other people

If I had a gun or the guts to know I would go to heaven (yea stfu if you don't believe in religion) if I killed myself, I would stop typing this dumb message and do my family the favor of saving their breath of talking behind my back about how I'm not as "they expected." Like my cousins and everyone else in this family is ******* perfect and has a boyfriend/girlfriend and I don't because I don't believe in that ****, has high grades, and is sculpted (no fat).
I'm not fat, I'm not a lesbian, and I'm not dumb, but that's what they make me out to feel. GOD I WANT TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF.
I hope you're doing better and away from those scum, Sillymee, since its been 5 years since this post.

This is my family. I am quiet, my sister is sucha b. I am the family scapegoat. They make me insane, but say I am just crazy. My mom hit me. We lived in a nice house when I was growing up. They pretend (can they seriously believe___) they are a really really nice family. No they are f-iing NOT. They are evil. I hate their effing guts. I wish they were all dead. I do.

Nobody cares about me. I don't care about anyone. I am nothing. My existence is a curse.

I truly understand how u feel. I used to wonder, seriously wonder what the hell I was put here for. And as I got older I realized there are other ppl who feel just like me, ppl who went through terrible things, or ppl who are just so alone in many ways. Sometimes fantasizing about death can feel soooo darn good, but think about this..... If there was someone who was just like u, and needed to be cared for, needed to know what that felt like. If u didnt exist how could u ever get the chance to know them?

You need to take responsibility for yourself, your actions, and how you feel or let yourself feel.

Blaming it on other people will get you nowhere except even more miserable.

that kind of attitude and 'advice' is inappropriate in this situation. This person is clearly in a terrible state and your response lacked empathy and compassion. With all due respect, gtfo mate.

I disagree. And you clearly missed the entire point. But instead of thinking it through or asking, you response is "gtfo."

So with absolutely no respect intended, no.

It's 2 against 1
catssaymeaw makes a good point
Sicarium, you should really learn to neutralize your agression :P

Someone tells me to get the **** out and I'm the aggressive one? You're kidding, right?

Sometimes it is other people's fault. If people bully you and treat you badly you are clearly going to feel bad. The blame belongs to the people that instigated and provoked the problem in the first place, otherwise you are victim blaming. If other people are being anti-social bullies, then it is their fault. I mean, come on. If a bully in school kicks someone you would want the victim to understand it was not their fault, not their responsibility.

There is nothing wrong, and I think something right in blaming the people misbehaving. This is a place to express this stuff anyway. This is a f-king cruel world. There are a lot of sweet people that get slammed by it. Preaching and telling people what they need to do is not I thought what this was about.

You're not me. What you think a situation calls for doesn't apply to me. If you think what I said was inappropriate or preaching, that's your judgement. It is not mine. And your judgement doesn't particularly concern me. In other words, think what you want, it will not affect me.

The OP posted about wishing she could kill her family. The time for pity is over. Yes, she needs to start taking responsibility for her own actions and thoughts.

As for your bully example, you can be a victim or not. Defend yourself or not. It is your choice. Today's society is filled with victims. Too many people want to be the victim. And they want their victimhood to be greater than the next person's. I'm not going to play into the game, especially when being a victim becomes an excuse to kill your family.

That seems like useful advice. And now, after reading the responses, I want to add: I was relating to this kid. I'm "hating" my family right now too. But I was thinking about responsibility, and I believe that Sicarium (Sicarium?!) is actually trying to help the person. It's not criticism; it's a way out of the misery. I know because I'm experiencing similar misery and torment. I know I'd never, ever hurt my family, but having the image in my head sort of makes me feel better. But we CAN control our feelings, by changing how we look at things, and other ways - for example, getting really worked up over many perceived injustices and dwelling on them only makes us more unhappy; sometimes it's good to set a goal and focus on that and just ignore our families.
Life, families, can be very hard, very painful, sometimes. With mine, I feel I brought out the worst in them. I want to blame them all, but for me personally I know at bottom that I have really messed up. That may not be the case with this person at all. I feel very bad for the people here who say their families tease and bully them, use their trusted confidences against them.. I related tons to the part about the eroding of their self-esteem. You folks who have these difficult families: keep on keeping on, and one day you'll be bigger and better than them and they won't matter. Don't let them crush you. I hope you are all okay.
But we are responsible for our feelings, attitudes, behaviors, other things. I've often read that an important step in feeling better and moving forward is taking responsibility for one's life. These are young people, though. (Yay for you, young people. You have your life ahead of you!) But, it's just going to feel better to stop blaming and stop ranting and raving. Yes, this is supposed to be a supportive site. Yes, it's good to vent. Still, I couldn't help wondering if SillyMee couldn't be doing more to improve his/her own mood: maybe read or do something enjoyable? Maybe, too, just maybe, their family has some reason to be upset with them. Mine does. I don't want to admit it, but they do. Also, if they don't like me, there's not that much I can do about it. I'll have to find other friends and family. It hurts - it hurts a LOT, and I'm very sorry, SillyMee. But Selenium, or whatever his name is, is just trying to help.

4 More Responses

Same here bro, I hate my ******* family too, they're nothing but some ungrateful son of a b****

My sisters said I am ugly without make up & say I'm a lesbian because I don't have a boyfriend.

I've come to realize that the family I'm born into is solely to teach me lessons, they are not my true family..I am searching for my tribe & believe they are out there & that giv es me solice.

Your tribe. I like that. I'm searching too.

Solace. That's nice, though. Keep your heart. Your thoughts are inspiring.

People, I've got the same problem, the same ******* family and the same **** called "life"...

i absolutey agree with all ur statements.. just as close as mine. but idk. mine is worse i guess.. had been called so many phrases which are so damn bad.. not gonna say it here bcuz theres no point of it. and had been hit by all of my family members.. my brother,my mom and my dad.. im so sick of these things.. i only live with my parents since my bro left us for his job in the city n im actually just moved to this shithole that got NOTHING here.. what dafuq do u think im gonna get if i get stressed out? not like u..go to the cinema,meeting ur friends..just everywhere.. n me? just **** u really..**** u all!! at my age dat should be like all fun and just to studying to pursue our ambitions.. n now just me in this shithole.doing chores like evry ******* day,and still that ***** is still not satisfied..cook for them,just every single thing dat i've done..they do not appreciate it at all!beat me,say bad words to me.. all those things makes me believe that i am what they r saying.. then when their lovely son came home.. his turn to show off bout his successful life.then when my parents told him what i did wrong which i think its not a ******* ****..then my brother's turn to beat me up.. i feel like im not even their family..everyday i thought about of running away.. but nah.. i don't want them to win this game.. i'll be someone dat can make them suffer for wht they had done to me all this time.my childhood ruined by my own family.. tho nobody cares and nobody knows about this there is still a huge impact in my life..and a hole dat could never be refill.. i really hope someday they will understand why i really depressed..

i feel bad for you. That's really hard. Don't believe what they say.. I'm glad you don't run away if that would hurt you more: hang on.

I know what you're feeling, i have 2 siblings a brother and sister.<br />
Im the youngest, my brother is 23, my sister is 18, and i'm 13.<br />
My siblings both ****** up and know my parents, resent me because they think i'll end up like my siblings. They've always<br />
tried to make me be someone that im not, i was always the quite one in my family, both my siblings were loud and eccentric, my parents always wanted me to get along with others like my siblings but i was always very shy. When i was 9 years old, my brother was arrested for robbery charges, i <br />
always loved my brother, he was the only one who really cared. My parents started to suffer from depression after that. My sister never helped either. I probably have the worst relationship with my sister, she would be mean to always<br />
be mean to me, my sister always acted like an idiot, she would spend her time partying and doing drugs. My brother was bailed out of prison when i was 10 and a half, after that the situation with my sister kept getting worse, my brother was on house arrest, so i got to spend more time with him, deep down i really knew my brother had changed. My sister though was worse then before, she had gotten pregnant at the age of 16, my siblings tried to hide that fact, my almost got into a fight with the guy who got my sister pregnant. My brother eventually had got his sentance, and is know in prison. Knowing about my sister, my family moved abroad. He tricked us into staying their<br />
at first i had liked it there, but i was too blind to realise the truth<br />
everyone their had problems, but they tried to their sadness under smiles laughter, they were all liars, my father was just being used for money.I hated them all. After 1 year my father had put up my sister for matrimony. Which my sister didn't take very lightly. She had stopped talking to my father. My parents took out their anger on me. My parents would go back to states for long periods of time, during that time i learned how to depend on myself.I learned everthing i needed to survive in the<br />
real world. I had grown apart from my family. It felt as if i never had one to begin.I had finally realized it, my family never cared about me, they were never their for me as a child.I never learned how to ride a bike, or swim because no one was their to teach me, i was ashamed of myself, my sister used to hold it up like a trophy that she could do something i couldn't so i hid those facts away being ashamed of myself. Whenever i cried as a child no one was there to cheer me up, i never had a father that taught me how to play sports or mother who would care for me, all they cared about was how good i was at studies. Now my childhood is practicaly over. My father wouldn't accept the fact that i didn't care about him, and he tried make me be someone else, and know after years of abuse i hate him. I hate all of my family. Their all liars that tried to use me for their own good. Know i can't take life anymore, they acted as if i wasnt there. I suffer from depression, i rarely get any sleep, but i know one day i'll finally be happy. Sorry if wrote my life story fo you.

Keep the faith, you sound sweet and I know you will too.

My goodness I appreciate the passion, because I share it as well.

My family raised me like I was in a church of catholic nuns and now I have no clue how to actually go after any woman that finds me attractive, because I was taught that it would 'just happen' and I should just wait for it.

I'd rather have them all thrown under a bus and have my dad there to teach me how to seduce a woman.

You can teach a kid all you want about being "successful". If you don't teach them how to be successful with the opposite sex, they'll never be happy.