How Did I Get Here?

I think i've been living in my own world where there are happy endings and your parents love each other for the past twenty odd years. I know there are abusive relationships ...all kinds; physical, sexual, emotional ...i just never noticed that it was happening in my family and when i did it was like i was in denial for a long while. I probably though subconsciousy that if i ignored it or pretended it didn't happen in my "happy" family ...then it would go away ....yeah wishful thinking.

My dad emotionally abuses my mom, there i've said it ...i've finally acknowledged it. "MY DAD ABUSES MY MOM!" It happens in my family ....my family that's supposed to be this shining example and i hate it ...i hate them ...i hate me because i let it happen ...I love my mom and i still love my dad. You know how as little girls you want to grow up and marry someone like your dad because he's so good and kind and loving ...i don't anymore. If this is what happens after thirty years of marriage then i'm scared to get married. What if the same thing happens to me but that's not the point right now. The point is my mother is hurting and i don't know what to do ...and i'm a coward in not doing anything.  

Candita Candita
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2009

I know how you feel. I personally don't live with either of my parents, But My father abuses his girlfriend physically. And my mom is abused emotionally by her boyfriend.<br />
Other girls my age are always like "When I'm older I'm going to marry someone just like my dad, Because he is amazing person"<br />
I would NEVER marry anyone remotely similar to my father.

emotional abuse is so awful, and complicated, and i hope you overcome this. talk to your mom for sure.