I Need to Get Away, Or I Might Die Here

Ok, I know that whatever I put here my seem to some people like it's just the rantings of some spoiled little ***** who needs to grow the **** up. But unless you have been in that house they force me to call a home, unless you have had to endure the last 14 years with those people and all thier bull ****, please don't be so quick to judge me or my situation.

I hate my family. Everyday I am with them I feel a piece of me die. I know I'm not strong enough to keep putting up with it all. I can't take the pressure and the mental strain of having to live with them. 

My mother acts like a god-damn five year old all the time. She constantly brages into my room, looks through my stuff, invadeds every part of my privacy. I have never given her reason to distrust me and have her snoop around my room, she just does it to **** me off. She "jokingly" plays around with me by blocking my way, trying to poke and tickle me, or calling me silly (god-awful) nick-names. And I sit there and endure most of it with a fake smile. I'll admit there are times when i explode when she does this to me, but I just don't think it's fair. She says she can act that way with me 'cause she is the parent, so when I'm just being playful and acting like a kid she yells at me and tells me to stop or eles. It isn't fair, I'm the child and I can't like one.

And her husband! I hate him most of all. He stoped working a few years ago when he got injured on the job and ever since then he hasn't been the same. I used to be daddy's little girl, he was the one i ran to first if something was wrong.Now, if something is wrong, he is most likely the cause. He treats me and my mom like ****. For years she and I were not "allowed" to see certain members of my moms family. All he cares about is his car and his drinking "buddies".

When he and I get into fights, usally he starts them, my mother always takes his side, even when he is clearly wrong. She was supposed to divorce him a few years ago but changed her mind. I suffer the most because of that choice. I feel really unloved there and everytime I try to tell my mom she says its my fualt. not exactly in those words, but its implied. I really feel like I need to get out of there. Normally I am a happy person. Im really relaxed. But with them I am so angry and on edge all the time. I sometimes think it would be better living on the streets and haveing to fight to survie, just so I can get away from them. I need to go..... 

netgurl netgurl
18-21, F
Feb 23, 2009