To Be Hurt

At the age of 12 is when i realized the world isnt perfect. I noticed patterns in the way people lied and how they were able not to be caught.After seeing my sister sneak away from the mall to go sleep with a crack head and return to the mall just when our parents were picking us up,made me see  that not everyone WANTS to do right. At age 15 i met my first boyfriend. He was four years older, a mexican, in the military, and came from a very poor family. First off my family is white, rich, and very liberal. They refused to belive that i wanted to see him. After 6 months they finally gave in and "accepted him" in the family....that is because they found out how much money he makes every year. For 2 years ive tried sticking up for my parents. Oh they just dont understand your culture is what i would say to him when they ripped on his parents for not having good jobs. I wanted to fit in with my family so much that i pretended that my boyfriend was going to stay in the military for life just so they would let me keep seeing him. This whole time my boyfriend (who had become my fiance) hated my parents. He said they didnt know the meaning of family. I tried sooo hard to prove him wrong. Throughout this whole mess i realized that all i wanted was for everyone to get along. And now...ive realized how much my family insults, and makes you feel horrible by just doing things to make you happy. All growing up we were literally forced to go to church, you HAD to go to every family gathering (even if all my mom did was talk smack about what everyone said on the drive home) and made fun of for not having good "combacks" when each sibling openly tried to humiliate you (my mom addmitted it that she wants us to know how to do this therefor it was a "lesson")

Looking at ALL this...

I feel like i was being trapped. Forced into a lifestyle that wasnt me. Im NOT a beliver in god, nor do i care to hear about it by ANYONE, Everyones business is there own, and they only thing you should give people is advice, not orders. If you dont like someones relationship tell them once, and be done with it, theres no point in saying it to every relative and anyone you meet on the street. Be happy! And what really sucks is that now...i have to detach from my family. I look back at the times when i thought everything was perfect and i feel like crying, but i know that it was only perfect becasue i didnt know what was really going on. It hurts SO bad. BUt so does having your future husband tel you that your own family hurt him.

In 5 months i'll be moving to another state, and changing phone numbers. Maybe in 5 years i'll let them visit. The first five years of my marriage shouldnt be infuenced my the brainwashing thoughts of those who hurt you.  

solisgirl solisgirl
18-21, F
4 Responses Apr 18, 2010

Boo ******* hoo. You were raised in a house where you were provided food, clothing and shelter. Shut the **** up. The whole world is ******, people are nothing more than animals, get over it and get used to it.

Try sleeping in a park for two ******* years because your parents kicked your *** out before you turned 15, chugging bottles of vodka on a park bench just so you could tolerate the cold of the winter and fall asleep for a few hours before waking up with your entire body aching in agony from the cold.

Shut the **** up

just shut the **** up

You were never beaten till you couldn't walk because you weren't "Godly" enough, never starved, never locked in a room for months over the summer because you had a bad attitude.

fuc-k you b-itch

eh your parents sound like typical douche bags. Honestly you can have money and prestige enough to reach the moon, and still be a venomous lowlife. No matter how liberal, your parents probably suffer from a white middle class delusion that jobs and success is fair game for everyone. Which it is not. I know you are hurt because your parents neglected to give you something of the emotional variety. If you can, you should by all means live your life separate from your parents. It will be a great learning experience. Your spouse should always rank over your family but make sure that your spouse isn't trying turn you away from your family. The reverse is also true, if your spouse is genuinely a good guy, you should be wary of your family trying to turn you against him. Especially if the reason is your spouses parents weren't "successful" and are mexican. i mean, they sound pretty conservative to me but OKAY whatever. Make good choices!

Girl I have tried to disown my family now they r taking me to court to be my legal gaurdian because I have a tramatic brain injury. when I was a child being raped by mt step dad and beet by my step dad they did not try to bhelp me but now that I am on SSIthey are trying tyo force me to have them in my life. My aunt says I cant take care of myself or make good choices. It ****** me off. The state has cusody of me cause I whent into foster care when i was 15 and they wont let me out of it because of what my family is saying. I hate them all but can not do anything about it

live your life free girl, dont let anyone stop you from what you want in life. maby one day your family will accept this and they might just say sorry for how they acted<br />
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Best of wishes in your marriage :)