Different Lifestyles

My fiance and future mother in law are venezualen. I am white but I am not racist at all. My FIL immigrated 10 years ago and have contributed nothing to this country, live on welfare, treat my fiance like she's not good enough, refuse to speak english around me even though they are all completely fluent and every time I go over they try to use me for my car. I cannot stand them and wish I could divorce my fiance from them. I don't know what to do, I have a feeling it's only going to get worse the older they get because my fiance is an only child and will be expected to take care of her family when they get older. I love my fiance more than anything but this is really making me ask the question if I should leave. If anyone has any advice I would be very appreciative.
zimyanks zimyanks
1 Response Sep 24, 2012

Run away! I have found that the simplest of problems, as is in my case - Is that in someone's native tongue, they will always misinterpret what it is you are actually saying. Even if she is fluent in English, there is room for mistakes as to what exactly was really said. And not being able to speak "their" language is a huge handicap. When dealing with very astute paternalistic cultures such as Asian, middle eastern or Hispanic, taking care of family members when they get I'll is just how it goes. They know that they are capable of English, however they do not respect you enough to even want you to know what they are saying, however mundane their conversation may be. I feel for you. This is a situation that, even if it did change, would likely be miserable for you down the road. If she is able to stand up to her parents, not alienate them, maybe it can work. However, the ball is in her court more than yours. The first steps to repairing this would be that she confronts her parents.