Maybe hate is a strong word. He is my 4th child. He works, comes home and complains about everything. He doesn't do yard work. Staying with his own kids while I grocery shop is called babysitting. He is dirty, messy, and treats me like his servant. He will not do home repairs, I do. He is perfectly capable, he used to own a construction business. He now works paving and comes home stinking and full of asphalt and proceeds to sit in his " hole in the sofa" and yes the sofa literally sags is filthy and stinks in one spot. He will not help with the kids, bring in groceries, he works and that's it. One week it rained for 3 days he couldn't work. He sat in his hole for 3 straight days only moving to go to the bathroom and fetch food. For those 3 days he sat and complained he couldn't find the remote. On the fourth day, he returned to work, I found the remote. It was right where I told him it would be, under his gross cushion. Not even motivated to lift his *** 2 feet to find what he lost.
I may sound like a nagging housewife, ungrateful, demanding, I know , he tells me all the time. My life is not all about sitting home eating Bon bons on the couch. Our youngest was born with a birth defect which was surgically repaired. He has severe learning disabilities and loads of doctor appointments several times a month. Not to mention speech therapy, occupational therapy and developmental therapy every single day. To say my plate is full is an understatement, and this is only one child, I have 3. All 3 are clothed and fed by my child support from my oldest child's father.
My husband is terrible with financing money. He is constantly borrowing and paying back to someone. When it comes time for income tax returns he counts on it to pay bills and he still never has enough. He even "borrowed" my last income tax return. I only got a small portion back, of which in a sense I had to earn by posting things online for him to sell. All the while I heard what he was sacrificing to give me my money. We don't file together anymore. The last time we did he had his business and we owed over 30 k in unpaid taxes. All of which I paid through payroll garnishments. There was a point where I paid out so much through garnishments that my take home pay for my full time job was $13.43 for 40 hours.
After 15 years of marriage and his poor decision making, all of which the consequences were solely mine. I have a new attitude. As a teenager my father would say to me, "sometimes in life you have to say, hooray for me, and **** you." It wasn't until recently and my circumstances that I figured out what he meant.
I am taking a job in the evenings. It's not what I want, but with a disabled child this is what I have to do for now. I will save my money and take care of my children with my own earnings. We will vacation, I will restart my retirement fund (I had to cash that in when he was unemployed at christmas last year). I was happy and successful before I met him and I will be that again. I don't know if I want a divorce but right now I just want to progress and he can be an active participant in our life or he can continue to stand in the wings.
Twoboys2012 Twoboys2012
46-50, F
Aug 26, 2014